Mine to Fear (Mine #3)(5)

“Thank you. It's just that we can't be too cautious. There's only a few ways to get in Chardonia now, especially since we're not technically allowed in. We have to keep them well guarded.”

“That's as it should be.”

I move back around the tree and into the cave. It's dark and narrow, looking as if it ends before it even begins, but I press on, slipping through a crack in the back just wide enough for a person. It's even darker back here. I pull my energy to my core and release it in the form of pure light. Only it's not very pure. My nerves have brushed hints of green into it.

Tawny casts her own spell, white and pure with the tiniest touch of purple. I have no clue what purple means to her. Even after knowing each other our entire lives, I have a hard time reading her emotions.

As we walk through the rocky tunnel, we chat, our voices echoing through the chambers. The chamber is damp and smells of earth.

“Will they be suspicious of us being in Chardonia?”

“They are suspicious no matter if we try to enter legally or not,” I reply. “If that bothers you, it'd probably be best to turn around and go home.”

“I'm used to suspicion. After all, I have lived at court all my life.”

“At least you've had practice. Though that's going to be one of the smaller problems.”

“What's the biggest?”

“I don't know which threat is bigger yet. The council or Zade.”

“Zade's temper is something fierce,” Tawny replies.

“It's only gotten worse.” The tunnel grows steeper, making my legs ache with exertion.

“Worse? How's that even possible?”

It's then I realize how bad it is that I haven't told her yet. The ground levels out, and we come to a cavern the size of a small room. I motion to the cave floor. “We might as well rest here.”

She doesn't hesitate to follow my direction, which bodes well for how seriously she's taking this. Besides, we haven't eaten since we left and that was hours and hours ago. I'm starving, even if my nerves are trying to say otherwise.

Once we're sitting, I pull out hard tack, and we munch on it while I think on how to tell her that my brother was serious about not marrying a princess. About wanting instead another girl who's sweet and kind. A girl who barely knows magic, though I know that's not why they fell in love.

After we've been eating a few minutes, she asks, “Do I get to know how Zade's temper could have possibly gotten worse?”

I set my food down, guilt making it too difficult to eat, even if I'll need the strength later. “The girl he owned, the one he set free…”

“Serena.”

The fact she remembers Serena's name is either really good or really bad. “Uh, yes, her. She um…”

“Found a way to make his temper worse?” Her expression is so neutral in the light of our wavering magic, I can't decide how she's taking this all.

“Actually, yes.”

“Truly? How did she manage that?”

I just have to spit the words out, no matter how much they stick to my throat. “She captured his heart.”

“Oh.” The defeated word echoes through the cave.

I'm the inconsiderate person for not telling her sooner. My words grow quieter as I continue. “He proposed, and she has accepted. They are engaged to be married.”

“Oh.”

Guilt presses in on me more than the walls of the cave. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't know how.” I'm selfish like that. And still slightly upset that I wasn't there for the engagement. Or rather, majorly upset.

Her expression remains carefully guarded. There's no telling what she's thinking. Being at court has probably given her ample opportunities to practice because she's terribly good at it. Even her spelled light hanging just above her head and to the right doesn't change color to hint at what she's feeling.

“Tawny, are you all right? Do you want to return to Envado?”

Finally, she squeezes her eyes shut as if in pain, but it's the only indication she's feeling anything. One that passes all too quickly. “I'm fine. It's just unexpected is all. He made it clear that our relationship would be no more. I was fine with that. Our parents had more plans for us than I think we did. They're still disappointed he cut it off, though they understood why when they heard of his gaining ownership of a Chardonian woman. We heard of Zade breaking the first engagement with Serena, and we thought maybe… But it's fine.”

That may be what her words say, but her heart said differently when they were first engaged. “You don't have to go through with this. I can make it on my own, and Envado still needs you.”

“Envado has what it needs.” The skin around her eyes tightens. “I'm coming.”

And so she is.

I should have told her sooner. The thought haunts me all through the tunnel, the cavern we stay the night in, and the tunnel out to Chardonian territory. I don't know if the guilt will ever leave or lessen. Sometimes I just make bad judgments. The thought still plagues me as we step into Chardonian sunlight.

The land is more beautiful than the evil hearts ruling the country. Hills covered with forest as far as the eye can see. Most women don't even know how pristine their country is because they're too busy spending their lives locked up. If Tawny wasn't present, I think I might just curse.