Mine to Fear (Mine #3)(3)

I wave randomly around the room. “All this, everyone here, all the spells and extravagant things? It seems wasteful after living with women who can't even go out in public without a male chaperone. Who can't even make their own choices without being punished because of them.” And I need to get back to where I can do some good. How do I convince my parents of that?

“I suppose living in Chardonia would change how you see things.” Her shoulders slouch like the weight on them is growing too heavy. She has enough to worry about with Dad and Zade. I shouldn't add to it. I'm just so restless, and the words keep popping out.

“It has changed everything,” I say.

She dabs her eyes with her kerchief even though there's no sign of tears. “Honestly, with your dad feeling so sick when we left, I'm not of the mind for this type of thing anyway. Let's pay our respects to the Queen and King and return home.”

“Thank you.”

As we make our way toward the thrones, another woman stops me. “You're Waverly, yes?”

“I am.”

“It's such an honor to meet you. I've heard all about everything you've done for Chardonian women.”

Oh, she has, has she? It's funny that she knows more than I've told anyone. Someone in Sanos, the rebel group, must have been talking, but even they don't know everything.

“You're held in such high esteem,” the woman continues. “What, with helping the first woman to duel in the Chardonian tournament.”

This is ridiculous. I did so little, and everything they think they know about what I did is just a rumor. They have no idea what it's really like. I've heard more than enough. “I did nothing but teach her to make bubbles and color nails.”

I storm away from the woman, fuming as I head toward the Queen. What an inane country I belong to. They claim to want to help the Chardonian women, yet all they do is parade around in the spelled finery. No, I want out. I'm needed out there.





***





Mom parks the motor car.

“This is one thing I did miss,” I say. “It's such a refreshing change to be able to get places faster. They don't even have windows in their carriages, Mom. And they wouldn't let me ride a horse unless we were hidden from prying eyes.”

Mom blanches. “They grow more barbarous every time you say something about them.”

She would never survive without her daily horse ride.

“The girls were wonderful, though,” I say, trying to point out at least something good since I did nothing but complain about Chardonia on the way home. She's probably sorry Zade didn't send me home sooner, so I'd have less to complain about.

We wander into the house together and head toward the study. “They sound wonderful the way you've described them. It's amazing how they could turn out so good with such terrible surroundings.”

I suppose I may have over-talked the girls. Even if I've been hesitant to speak about anything else but Chardonia up until this point, I haven't refrained from telling her all about the girls I now consider my sisters. My heart aches from missing them so much, each and every one of them.

It's too quiet here without the little ones and lonely without the others.

The study is quiet as we enter. Dad is pale and much too thin where he sits near the fire reading. Zade's so much like him, but the resemblance has been worn by sickness. It makes me ache for them both.

“How are you feeling tonight, Daddy?” I place a kiss on his forehead and curl up by his feet.

“Dandy.” He does sound better than when I first left for Chardonia. “How is the Queen?”

“As graceful as ever.”

Mom sits on the arm of the chair and wraps her arm around Dad's shoulders. Something about the movement reminds me of Zade and Serena, and Lukas and Cynthia. It pierces my heart with longing.

I stand, even though I just got settled. “I think I'll do some reading.”

I take a step, but Dad stops me. “Wait a moment, dear. Your mother and I have been talking.”

Perfect. The last time they said they'd been talking like this, I ended up cleaning out the horses' stalls for a month. Best nip that. “You've decided to buy me my own motorcar?”

“That may actually be preferable to what we've decided.”

Lovely.

Mom shifts uncomfortably. It must be worse than I think. I plop down on a nearby chair. “What is it?”

“We're so glad to have you home,” she says. “We missed you so very much.”

And that's one of the reasons I haven't snuck back to my almost-sister’s yet despite the overwhelming desire to run off. “I know.”

“But you're not happy,” Daddy says.

I force a smile. “I am happy. I missed you both so much.”

“But we're not enough. You miss your brother and new friends.”

Sigh. “It's not that you two aren't enough. It’s only that they need me more.”

“We know, and we love you so much. Love having you home, love spending time with you, love only having to worry about the life of one of our children. It's been a good week. But we know there's greater things out there for you.” My heart pounds. “This isn't where you want to be, or where you need to be. Zade and Chadwick had good intentions, but they were wrong to send you home.”