Lustly(36)

I suppose it was for the best, watching him walk out of my life. I wasn’t the woman he thought I was. That part of me that he was interested in had to go away. I needed to be strong and independent if I wanted to be able to survive on my own. At least my kids were older and pretty much self-sufficient. If my plan didn’t work out I could work two jobs to keep us afloat.

For the next six days I moped around my house. Charlie left me alone, but only because he was going on another business trip, so he called it. I decided that since I hadn’t heard a word from Eli I’d have to get some backup proof of Charlie’s affair with Kate on my own. I avoided thinking about my weekly visit with Frankie, and focused all of my energy on Charlie and the marriage that was about to come to an end.

On the day of the second meet with Frankie I rushed around the house acting like a crazy person. The kids must have thought I’d lost my mind, and it was a good thing that Charlie had gotten up and left early.

By the time I’d reached the hotel and gotten into the room I was so sweaty that I literally needed a second shower. With little time to spare I jumped in and hoped that Frankie was running late. When I was just about done conditioning my hair I heard someone clear their throat. Through the fogged up glass I could see the figure of a man standing in the doorway that led to the bedroom. He left as soon as I’d turned and I didn’t know whether to feel violated or upset that I wasn’t prepared how I should have been. Then I remembered that the rules of Cybil were off since my client was her son.

I took my time climbing out and walked into the dark room. From the light in the bathroom I caught a glimpse of the back of him. He was slender, which I could tell from our last encounter, but his shoulders were wide. Before I could take in any more of him, I heard that stupid computer talking. “Turn off the light, Lily.”

“Why should I follow any of your rules, Frankie? Haven’t we broken all of them already?”

“Do you want to get paid or not?”

He was so dry, and I don’t know why I expected him to be kind. I was a whore and he knew it. He’d lived a life knowing what his mother did, and according to what I was told, he hated it.

I turned off the light and stood there waiting for what he wanted next.

Instead of ordering me to apply the mask, or to stay naked he started asking me questions.

I could hear him typing. “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

He was all the way across the king size bed facing the other way, so I sat down on the side facing the bathroom wall. “I can’t think that far ahead. Right now I have to live for the now.”

“Because of your husband?”

“It irritates me that you know about my personal life.”

“Think of me as a listener, or a friend.”

I laughed out loud. “I’d hardly call someone I never saw before a friend.”

“People are friends online for years without meeting.”

He had a point. “True, but you know this is different.”

“I’m still waiting for an answer.”

“Why can’t I hear your voice?” If he wanted me to tell him things I was going to need to know I could trust him. How did I know that he wasn’t one of my husband’s friends that were in cahoots to ruin my life.

“You will in time. I promise. Right now you can’t answer a question with a question. Can you not see a future because of what’s going on with your husband?”

I closed my eyes and felt tears forming. This unconventional whoring job wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. I think I’d rather have a client that only wanted to f*ck me for two hours. At least then I wouldn’t have to talk. “Yes. Are you happy now? I can’t see my future because all I care about is providing a life for my kids. Do you really think I’d sell my body for money because it seemed like a great idea? I’ve put my life, my friendships, and all of my self-worth on the line for my kids. I’m doing this because they mean everything to me. I’d give my life to make sure they were taken care of.” I was really crying. I covered my face with my hands and couldn’t stop.

I felt the mattress move, and then a presence in front of me. Arms wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me into his chest. I didn’t hug the man back, but instead wept against the fabric of his shirt. “Shh.”

I couldn’t stop. Every person I’d ever met would stop talking to me if they knew what I was doing. I’d have nothing, including custody of my children. This was a terrible decision brought on by feeling helpless.

My mind went to Eli, and the possibility of never speaking to him again. I think that’s when it really hit me how much he meant to me in such a short time. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t how you saw your morning going.”

Frankie let go of me and walked over to where he’d left his computer. I heard him typing and felt annoyed again that he wouldn’t speak to me. “I have one sibling and we’re not very close. I learned what my mom did for a living when I was thirteen. One of her girls had gotten into some trouble and we went to the hospital after one of my sport’s games. She told me to stay in the car, but I followed her. You can imagine a horny teenager seeing someone half-naked all beaten up. I peeked in the doorway and watched my mother comforting the girl, then calling the client and giving him shit. After that I rode my bike to where the laundry mat was that she ran back then. The workers never noticed me walking in, or that I’d snuck to the back room. That’s when I saw her performing with a client. I’ll never get the image out of my head. Even to this day it makes me cringe.” I could hear him still typing and I wiped away my tears to listen to his story. “My mother was a good parent, in the sense that she’d do anything for us, but I could never agree with her choices. No matter how much money we had, what gifts she bought me, or even when she finally married and started hiring girls to do the job, I couldn’t get past what she did. I never told her I knew. When I graduated high school I left for college, and promised myself that I’d never take a cent from her again. She sat me down after my schooling was over and tried to make me understand, I just couldn’t. I’ve spent the past ten years or so building a name for myself that people can respect. I’m not associated with my mother’s business or her employees, except for you.”