Lustly(41)

“That’s a bummer. I suppose I need to do the same.”

He sat up and backed away to be able to face me. “About that. I asked you here today because I want you to stop. I don’t know what happened with you and your client, but I can’t feel what I’m feeling knowing that you’re still doing that, Lily.”

I pulled away more. “This is why I said we needed to stay friends. You know why I’m doing it.”

“Let me help you. I don’t care about the money. I know you think it’s some big deal, but I won’t miss it. Please.”

I sat up and covered myself with my hands. “Ten meets. If I see him ten more times I’ll have enough to get started. The child support and alimony can kick in and I’ll be good.”

“No!” He raised his voice for the first time. “I’m not okay with that. I’m not okay with you sleeping with someone for money. I’ll never be okay with that.”

I stood up and pointed at him. “Isn’t that what this is? You just slept with me and offered me money.”

He stood up on the other side of the bed. “Are you f*cking kidding me? I offered to help the woman that I care about. I didn’t tell you to bend over and let me f*ck you for money. There’s a huge f*cking difference.”

I started grabbing my clothes. “It’s the same. Either way I’m sleeping with someone to save my kids.”

“I can’t believe you.”

I scrunched up my face and started to lose it. “I can f*ck who I want, Eli. Besides, I’m not your only client that you f*ck. I saw that woman that you were with the day we met. She came out of your office last week a mess. What happened? Did you trade her in because you had hopes of nailing me?”

He pointed to his door. “Get the f*ck out, Lily, before I say something I’m going to regret.” I was half-dressed when I made it out to my vehicle. Eli came running towards the van as I started backing out of his driveway. I only stopped because I saw the dog run near my tires. Eli appeared at the window and knocked on it until I rolled it down. “I’m sorry. You really pissed me off in there.”

“This is why we shouldn’t be involved, Eli.”

He rested his head on my door and closed his eyes. “That girl you saw, the one you said I was f*cking…She’s my sister, Lily. She married someone she worked for and then caught him cheating with someone else they worked with. She’s going through hell, and even though we don’t get along, I agreed to help her, until I came in last week and caught her f*cking my partner, who is married. I’m tired of trying to help her.”

I felt like an *. He obviously wasn’t screwing his sister. “I’m sorry. I assumed she -.”

“I get that you can’t trust people, but I would never hurt you. I thought you knew that.”

I cried harder. Our day was ruined. Everything I touched turned to shit. “I need to leave.”

“Lily, don’t. Don’t leave upset.”

“No matter what I do someone gets hurt. Today was beautiful. I made love to you because I wanted to. I did it because when I close my eyes and I need to smile I think of you. I didn’t do it for any other reasons. This thing between us is dangerous for me. It messes with my priorities, and right now I can’t afford that. You can either be my friend, or not. I’m not going to change my life right now. I have a plan and it needs to happen. I can’t feel the way I do about you and be alright with accepting your money. This is my mess to get out of, Eli. I told you only because I couldn’t lie to you.”

He pointed to the envelope of cash sticking out of my purse on the passenger seat. “I’m guessing you got that today?” The look of disgust washed over his face. “What was today for you? Did I get some other man’s sloppy f*cking seconds? Is that what just happened?”

I hated him saying it. “Shut up! I wouldn’t ever do that to you.”

“Did you see him today, Lily? Is that where you were when I called? Were you in bed with him?”

“I was sitting on the bed, and yes he was in the room too, but it isn’t like you think.”

“Did you have clothes on?”

I buried my face in my hands. “Please, Eli. I am not lying to you.”

I couldn’t look at him. I had to leave. I started to back up again. He moved away, but started talking. “Tell me if you were naked, Lily.”

Finally I turned and looked right at him, deliberately lying to his face. “I was clothed. We talked, that’s it. He let me leave early so that I could be with you, because I told him everything about you.”

I pulled away before he could respond. Whether I was clothed was irrelevant. I’d kissed Frankie, but that was it. The drama that came with Eli was too much for me to be able to deal with.

Even though I was so irrational, I found it to be the perfect time to drive to the hotel and spy on my husband. After taking pictures of both his and Kate’s vehicles, I drove to the bus stop and picked up the kids.

Then I splurged and took them out to dinner, allowing them to order whatever they wanted. The food didn’t do anything for the guilt that I was feeling, or the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about Eli.

My life was ruined. I was my own worst enemy.

For another seven days I put up with Charlie, while doing my wifely duties at home. Eli never called me, nor would he answer any of my messages or texts. I’d crushed him, and I could hope that in time he’d forgive me.