Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1)(77)

“We’re too old.”

“Never! We could put on masks and nobody would even know.”

I’d always loved Halloween and the fun that it brought being able to get dressed up and act silly for one night out of the year. “Branch would just get mad.”

“Who gives a shit about what Branch thinks? Kat, you used to be fun. What happened to you?”

At the time, I took it offensively and left him standing there in the hallway. I don’t remember much of the rest of the day, but later on, when I went to my locker, I found a note and a package of peanut butter cups inside. One had been eaten. The letter said.

Two peanut butter cups, but you’re only allowed one.

I never understood what it meant until I’d taken a bite just then. When my face looked serious, Brooks stopped chewing. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you remember when we were in school and you left the peanut butter cups for me?”

“One cup,” he corrected.

“Was that note some cryptic way of you telling me to choose you?”

He started chewing again and lifting B over his head. “Maybe.”

I pushed him lightly. “Why couldn’t you just say it to me, instead of leaving me messages that made no sense?”

Brooks laughed. “Because I wanted you to choose on your own, not because I persuaded it. Little hints along the way couldn’t hurt. Not that it ever helped anyway. You were too damn stubborn to think that what you were doing was wrong, or who I should say.”

“Brooks! Cut it out.”

We both began to laugh as I got up and walked into the bathroom. I’d been wearing Brooks’ shirt, but still had on a pair of shorts and a bra. I considered taking them off so I could sleep comfortably, but I didn’t want Brooks to get the wrong idea. I looked into the mirror anyway, making sure I looked halfway decent. “Jesus woman, you’re lucky he doesn’t go running the other direction.” I knew there was little I could do to change how I looked, so I decided to not let it bother me.

When I opened the door to go out, he was standing on the other side. His one arm was up, leaning against the frame. “I think you’re beautiful.”

I was flabbergasted. “I think all that sugar is going to your head.”

He moved his arm and let me walk by him without saying anything else. B was already up on the bed, watching something on television. She was sucking on her two fingers, which usually meant she was tired. I grabbed her cup and filled it with milk from the mini refrigerator. She didn’t sit up as I handed it to her. After taking two sips, she set it beside her and put her fingers back in her mouth. I covered her up and kissed her lightly on the cheek. “Love you, B.”

She smiled and closed her eyes as I started rubbing her soft face. Brooks walked behind me and climbed on the other bed. I didn’t turn to look at him, because I wanted B to go to bed without being distracted by anything else.

It took her a few minutes, but thankfully she fell right to sleep.

When I turned to look at Brooks, he was under the covers and I could tell his shirt was off. The blankets were up to his shoulders, but enough skin was exposed to show that he’d removed it.

I looked down at the large shirt I had on and then back to him. Since he’d seen me naked before, I couldn’t understand why I felt so nervous. He must have sensed the weird vibe too. “What’s wrong?” he whispered.

I shrugged. “Shut up.”

“Kat, get comfortable and get in bed. I’m not going to make fun of you, if that’s what you think.”

I scrunched up my face. “It’s not that.”

I let my shorts drop to the floor and then unfastened and removed my bra without taking off the shirt. Brooks watched me the whole time, laughing at how I was doing it. “Since when did you get shy?”

“Would you stop?”

I climbed under the covers next to my daughter and turned to face Brooks in the other bed. He did the same thing, facing me and cuddling with his pillow. When he started laughing again, I tossed a pillow at him.

“Sorry, I saw this going a little differently.”

“I’m not sleeping with you, Brooks. I just left my husband.”

“I never asked you, did I?”

I felt like he was rejecting me and even if I was determined not to be with him, I still needed to feel wanted. I started to roll over to ignore him. “Whatever.”

“Look at me, woman.”

I turned once more, giving him an irritated look when I did. “What?”

He sat up and swung his feet forward off the bed. The first thing I noticed shocked the hell out of me. On his body, right where his rib cage started on the left side, was a tattoo. It wasn’t just an armed forces tattoo, an American flag or something tribal. It was a very large letter K.

He caught me staring and smiled as he looked down at it and grazed it with his hand. “Oh, this. I should probably explain. I guess I got it so long ago that I forgot you’ve never seen it.”

“When?” I sat up and faced him, completely in shock that he’d put that on his body. My heart was pounding wildly and I felt like I was shaking, even though I knew I was sitting still. “Is that… Did you…”

I stuttered through my words, shocked in disbelief.

“Kat, my heart belongs to you. It’s not a secret. I got this done when I first went to Afghanistan. We’d just shared that night in the hotel room, and even though you’d left me I still loved you the same. I guess some people would call me stupid, but I just knew you were the one. I was going to put it over my heart. Instead, I put it here,” he pointed to his side where the large K sat, “Because the moment you walked out of my life I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”