Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1)(73)

I turned around and looked into his eyes. “I’m so sorry I got you into this.”

He tightened his face and shook his head. “Just stop with the apologies. We’ve both got shit that we wish we could take back. I don’t care what you’ve done. All I care about is giving our daughter a good life. Whether we’re together or not, we’re still a team. We’re always going to be a team, from now on. Do you understand?”

I leaned against the sink and smiled, knowing he wasn’t going to let me argue about it, not that I was even going to. “I hear you loud and clear.”

“Good. I’m going to run over to the base. I’ll be back in a half hour to get that head of yours cleaned up. Do you need me to pick up anything? How about milk for B? Will she need anything special?”

I walked out and found her lying on her stomach on the bed. Her feet were in the air and she was staring directly at the television. “Hey, sweetie. Do you want something to eat? Are you hungry?”

She was too preoccupied with her show. I turned to see Brooks standing near the door. “Can you find her a can of fruit or something like that at your commissary?”

He smiled. “Does she like bananas and apples? We’ve got plenty of them.”

“Yeah. She loves them.”

“I’ll get some milk and fruit and bring it back with me. Sit tight. I’ll be back soon.”

I ran toward the door and caught him in the hallway. “Brooks, wait!”

He turned around.

“Thanks for this.”

“I’ll be back. Take a nice bath and get that wound cleaned. I don’t want any bacteria in it when I stitch it up.”

I watched him walk over to the elevator. He looked so handsome in his fatigues, but aside from his appearance, I felt like I was completely safe. Being with Brooks was like medicine for the soul. B was a very lucky little girl to have a hero for her father.

When I went back into the room, I found her sound sleep. Her one hand was still propping up her face a bit, so I flipped her around on a pillow and covered her up, after removing her shoes and socks.

I turned on the water in the tub and let it fill up before I could climb in. When I started removing my clothes, I looked in the mirror to find more bruises from where I had been trying to fight my way free from Bobby’s hold. I stared at my naked body and felt disgusted with myself. Someone my age should still be beautiful with great skin, not hiding from her husband in a hotel with bruises all over her body.

I felt so ashamed and mad at myself for being na?ve and marrying Bobby. Sure, there was a part of me that loved the Bobby that cherished me and my daughter, but I hated the one that had left these marks on my body. He frightened me in a place where I should have been able to feel the safest.

When I climbed into the hot water, and got myself situated, it was like I could feel every bone in my body aching. My head hurt and it wasn’t just back where the small gash was. Stress and frustration were getting the best of me and I knew for my daughter’s sake that I needed to get myself calmed down.

I put a warm rag over my face and closed my eyes. The cartoon channel was still on in the other room and I could hear the sound effects when something exciting would happen. It made me think about B’s smile and how happy she always was. Then it reminded me of the fear that I’d seen in her eyes just hours before.

My cries this time were out of guilt. I felt like a failure to myself and my child. I’d been stupid for thinking that Bobby had changed and even more idiotic for assuming that he’d be okay with me being around Brooks.

The water had started to get cold, but the tears kept coming. When I heard the door open, it startled me. First, I was on high alert from what had happened to me and secondly, my daughter was in the bed asleep. I sat up in the tub, covering my appendages with a rag and my hands. Brooks peeked in the doorway. “It’s just me.”

He didn’t move though. Instead, he stood there looking at me. “Do you mind?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I don’t mind at all. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Feeling embarrassed, I tossed the wet rag at him. “Go away, you perv!”

He laughed and walked away.

I climbed out of the tub and realized that my clothes were in the other room. After wrapping a towel around my body, I walked in to find him lying on the bed with B. He had his arm propped up and was watching her sleep. On the floor were a couple of bags, one with his name printed on it. “Did you rob the base?”

He turned around, noticing I was naked first, and answering me second. “I needed to be able to change in the morning before my shift.”

That’s when it hit me. “You’re staying?”

Brooks sat up, watching me kneeling on the floor rummaging through my suitcase for clothes to wear to bed. Since I’d been in such a hurry, I’d forgotten to pack pajamas. He laughed at me and unzipped his bag, tossing me an army t-shirt. “Here, just put this on. I don’t sleep with it on anyway.”

The idea of wearing his shirt gave me chills. I could literally picture myself smelling it when he wasn’t looking. “Thanks.”

I stood up and looked around the room for a place to change, realizing I had to go in the bathroom. It was hard to keep reminding myself that Brooks and I were just friends. No matter how attracted we were to one another, our relationship was platonic.