Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1)(60)

B smiled and giggled as I drove home, barely able to see the lines on the road. When I pulled into the driveway I saw that Bobby was home and he wasn’t alone.

Brooks’ truck, the one that had been parked outside of our house for all those days, was parked next to his. I could barely open the car door fast enough to start vomiting. To say that I was under the most pressure of my life would have been an understatement.

I finally managed to get B out of her car seat and she went running toward the door. I frantically chased after her, knowing that Bobby wasn’t going to be okay with whatever was going on. As much as Brooks had every right to know his daughter, I needed time to explain it to Bobby to make him understand that I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t keep the truth any longer and now that he knew, we were going to have to let him get to know her.

I opened the door and she went running in, finding both men sitting at the kitchen table across from one another.

One look at Bobby and I knew he was falling apart inside. He also knew that I’d most likely lied to him about being sick and that finding out Brooks was alive had changed everything.

I didn’t know what to say as I looked from one man to the other.

Bobby finally spoke. “Brooks was here when I pulled up. He told me about your visit today and I thought it seemed right that we all get everything out in the open.”

I looked over at Brooks, who had both eyes on the mirror image of him that was standing across the room acting shy. I’d never seen him so emotional, but he looked over at Bobby and asked, “Is it okay if I say hello?”

The excruciating reality of what I’d done to him was utterly horrifying. Bobby nodded, with eyes glossed over. “She’s your daughter, too.”

The moment Brooks got on his knees and waved to her, Bobby lost it. He got up with his face covered and walked into the other room. I knew he wanted to be alone, to cry in private. I should have run after him and pleaded with everything I had in me for him to forgive me. He didn’t deserve to be hurt in all of this.

All I could do was stand there, watching my daughter, my precious little miracle, meeting her father and my soul mate for the first time.

B was reluctant at first, but after a few seconds she walked right up to him and touched his face. I continued standing there mesmerized with their instant connection, as if she knew he was someone important to her.

Then Brooks began to sob. He pulled our daughter into his arms and squeezed her tight against his body. I could see his chin shaking and could only imagine how left out he felt.

I got down on my knees beside him and reached for him, but he wouldn’t look at me. He was too focused on her and I was okay with that. I kept my hand on his shoulder as I spoke. “I know you’ll never forgive me, Brooks. I never meant to hurt you, I swear.”

He turned with her still resting her head on his chest. “How could you keep her from me? Why, Kat?”

I had to leave the room.

Already feeling worthless, I found Bobby sitting on the end of our bed. He was staring at the wall, unable to look up when I entered. I sat down next to him and reached for his hand.

He pulled away. “Don’t, Katy.”

I cried more, not because I wanted sympathy, but because I felt wretched for what I done to both of these men out of my own selfishness. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he’d come here.”

He peered over at me. “You didn’t know? You practically invited him here, Katy. My God, how could you go behind my back and do somethin’ like this?”

“I thought he was dead. You know how much that hurt me. I didn’t go there to be with him. I went there to see it for myself. The truth came out and I’m sorry if it hurt you, but if you were in his shoes wouldn’t you want to know? He deserves to be a part of that child’s life.”

Bobby was angry and if I hadn’t known Brooks was only a few rooms over, I would have feared for my safety. I could see the pain mixed with anger in his eyes and that was a potion for disaster. “I’m your husband and you went behind my back again. Do you know how it made me feel to see him walkin’ up those steps? For all I knew, he was dead. How long have you known?”

I put my head down. “I got a letter yesterday that had gotten lost from February. It said he was being moved to Fort Jackson. During the parade on the fourth, I thought I saw him. You have to understand, I just needed to know for sure. I had to see him in the flesh.”

“Did you f*ck him while you were there, or was he too smart to fall into your slutty two-timing ideas?”

I don’t know whether I deserved sympathy, but I certainly didn’t deserve to be called names. I didn’t go to see Brooks to jump into bed with him. I definitely hadn’t gone there to ruin my husband’s life. “Don’t say that.”

Bobby started to cry. “Darlin’, I’m sorry. That man in there may not have deserved to have the truth held from him, but at least he didn’t have to live in fear that one day she’d be ripped out of his arms.”

I fell on the bed, unable to respond. It felt like the air had left the room and I couldn’t catch my breath.

I’d ruined everyone’s lives, including my own and couldn’t come up with anything to say to make things better. All I could do was sit back and watch one man fall in love with a child he never knew he had, while the other sat there watching her bond with the one person in the world that could take her away from him.