Lost in La La Land(15)

When I reached the top of the hill, my breath hitched as I took in the spectacular view of the entire valley opposite the estate.

It was three hundred and sixty degrees of beauty.

I spun in a circle to experience it all until I grew dizzy and slumped to my knees in the soft field.

I didn't know why I had been compelled to come here until I saw the view. Surely this was what the effort was for.

But then I saw him.

I would have recognized him anywhere. We’d based the character on an actor I fancied.

He wasn't astride a white horse or even in his navy uniform. He was a regular man in a top hat and dress clothes that resembled a suit but with weird Regency pants and very tall boots. They were riding boots which made me think a horse might be nearby.

When he took the hat off and narrowed his gaze to see me better, I lost myself. He had the most dazzling blue eyes and beautiful face. He put the hillsides and estate to shame.

The way he strutted, as if he had a cause to saunter over with swagger, was mind-numbing.

My jaw dropped and my heart raced. Even with my mouth wide open, I could get no air. He had become everything in a matter of moments—footsteps.

His dark-blond hair, tanned skin, and plump lips caught my stare after the haunted quality of his own gaze had already claimed me.

He stopped mid stride and sighed. “Oh, I’m sorry to be so forward. I mistook you for someone else.”

“It’s all right. I’m Em—Jane Dalrymple. A guest of the Elliots.”

“I know that last name. Your mother must be the viscountess, Lady Dalrymple.”

“She is.”

“I’m Captain Wentworth, Frederick Wentworth. I’m sorry to have approached you thusly. I—it was most ill-mannered of me, and I swear I am a gentleman. I mean to say, there is one in here, somewhere.” He smiled and I gulped. “But I honestly believed you to be someone I am well enough acquainted with to be as bold as this.”

“I’m Jane.” I knew I'd said my name already but the smile that crested his perfect lips distracted me.

“Yes.”

“Captain Wentworth, Mrs. Croft’s brother?” I didn't know what else to say. He was too handsome.

“The very same. Do you know my sister or the admiral?”

“Yes—no. They’re coming to let my cousin’s—Anne’s estate. I am to meet them in the yard.” I struggled with words and his beauty and the fact I didn’t speak this way even when I was alone and doing my best British accent with Lola.

Lola.

Her face brought with it memories. Thoughts I’d not had in some time.

Lola.

The fire.

Jonathon.

“Are you unwell?” He interrupted my suddenly distracted thoughts as I glanced around us, checking for Jonathan. I should have checked for him when I arrived but the desire just hadn’t been there.

“I need to get back to the house. Your sister will arrive any moment.” I turned and ran down the hill, hating my shoes increasingly with every step. Why did I write this into the script? Why didn't I let women wear Tieks?

“Miss Dalrymple, wait!” He ran after me.

When we were in the yard again he caught up, stopping next to me as I eyed the door and feared with all my heart that the man I loved more than anything was standing in the house, peeking around a corner, watching and waiting. “Allow me to escort you.” He chuckled and breathed, heaving his words. “Please.”

“Thank you. But I must go.”

“Perhaps, since my sister is arriving any moment, I might also wait inside?” It was a dodgy thing to ask in that era, but I nodded, completely agreeing to his coming inside and chasing off my ghosts.

I had to stay focused. I had to show them the machine was sound and people like me could use it. Once.

He opened the door for me and we walked inside.

Suddenly the inappropriate thing we were doing hit me.

“Tea?” I asked nervously.

“Yes, thank you.”

I hurried away from him to find a servant. When I did, I ordered the tea and snuck back to where he was. Lurking around the corner like I was his ghost, I watched him as he gazed at the paintings and furnishings. His nose wrinkled when he viewed the family. I couldn't help but laugh at that. Seeing Elizabeth and Sir Walter, I might have done the same thing.

He glanced back, noticing me. I popped from behind the corner, like an idiot, and took a deep breath and forced myself back into the room with my literary crush from about the age of thirteen. He truly was the absolute best a man could be. Making him a look-alike of one of my celebrity crushes might have been a mistake; I was giggling and grinning like a fool.

“Where are Miss Anne and the rest of the family?”

“Her father and horrible sister—” I paused and winced.

“It’s not a crime to admit to one’s true feelings, so long as the recipient of those feelings is not nearby. I shall share mine to make you feel more at ease. I too cannot bear them, either of them. To be in this house, except to relish the knowledge that they can no longer afford it, is more painful than anything imaginable. How incredibly dreadful is that?” He sighed and lowered his gaze. “They have never shown me kindness and I cannot be the bigger man, I’m afraid. Perhaps I lied when I said a gentleman lurks inside me.”