Lost in La La Land(12)

“She came every day some weeks. You never saw this as excessive?”

“Some people have a glass of wine every day. We don't call them alcoholics. She was truly enjoying the ride. I believed she just wanted to be inside the book. The colors and the dancing and the dresses were real for her. And the book is lengthy; she would need time to get through it.” And she was meeting her dead lover so that was clearly a draw.

They all nodded and waited for me to continue.

“This way to the machine.” I stood and held out a hand for Dr. Brielle. She would go first.

Many hours later, I unhooked Dr. Dalton and expected him to smile but he scowled. “As I am not a fan of fiction, I can confirm your findings in the other nonreaders. That was boring to say the least.”

I laughed, unable to stop myself. His inability to filter himself was endearing in some strange way.

“Oh, it’s too bad you can’t go, Henry. You would love it.” Dr. Brielle turned to Dr. Williams.

“I’m sure I would. I do tend to love the odd escape from reality.” He winked at me and then gave Dr. Dalton a disapproving headshake. “You are a disappointment. How can you not enjoy fiction?”

Dr. Dalton shrugged it off. “I have never enjoyed the imagination. I believe in science and tangible proof. I despise when I read a novel and the science is so far-fetched there’s no way it could conceivably happen, and I am meant to dumb myself down and suspend my intelligence for the hours I suffer through the lies within. No. I can’t be bothered. But I see how someone with no knowledge of how the world works could enjoy this contraption.” He let his real feelings be known then. I’d suspected he was on the mayor’s side when he arrived, but this assured me there would be no kind words for me in his review. “Now we need to observe you in the machine and we will be on our way.”

“Oh, we’ve done four hours already. Surely you don't want to sit through another two hours of my being hooked up to it.” I started to sweat.

“We need to observe as a group to ensure there is no bias in any of the opinions; all three of us must observe one patient together. We believe the maker of the machine should have the expertise to give us the needed evidence to prove the machine is sound.” Dr. Williams smiled wide.

My heart raced. My mouth dried of all saliva. My stomach cramped. But I pushed on. I forced a smile across my lips as plans formulated in my mind. In a flash, I bounced ten ideas to avoid this, from sabotaging my machine to faking an epileptic seizure, but nothing would work. There was no room or time to do anything but hook myself in.

“You did say the machine essentially runs itself. It is a simple program and does everything needed with little effort from you. If we detect problems, we’ll run the siren program from the tablet.” Dr. Dalton grew smug. “Simple.”

“Very.” I got into the chair, forcing my legs onto the rests. Every second seemed like it stretched across time.

“Are you all right?” Dr. Brielle gave me a concerned look.

“I am. I just never go into the machine. I’m always doing it for everyone else.” It was the best I could come up with as my heart was in my throat and my stomach convulsed. “I don't have anyone who can run it for me.” I nearly wiped the sweat from my brow but didn't want to be obvious.

“Of course, that makes sense. No one to monitor you and your vitals whilst you’re in.”

“No. And after spending hours taking people through it, I sort of just want to go home at the end of the day.” I wanted to go home right then and there.

But I didn't.

I lay back, pretending to be relaxed, and watched as Dr. Brielle hooked me up, copying everything I had done to her. She did everything precisely and at the end checked it over twice. “I think you’re ready. What book?” She grinned excitedly for me. Of course she couldn't know how the journey would be for me. And I couldn’t let on that it would be the best and worst day of my life. Reliving the heartache was going to be brutal, but I would get through this. I would!

“Persuasion, please. By Jane Austen.”

“Of course. Captain Wentworth.” She bit her lip, lost in the thought of him for a moment before tapping her way through the system to pick the novel.

“He’s my favorite,” I added, not sure why I was divulging that. I hoped he was enough of a distraction that Jonathon might not be one.

“Oh, mine too. The dedication and devotion he had to Anne, even after all that time—it was so romantic. A true mark of a gentleman.”

A silly smile, regardless of the fear I was nearly crippled by, smattered across my face. There was no fighting it. I loved that she sounded different, having spent two hours in a novel. She was excited for me the way I always was for everyone else. “Exactly.” I nodded and closed my eyes, ready for the light-deprivation mask.

I took a deep breath and waited for it all to hit.

I had been in the machine in its early stages, back when the science was for ALS, MS, and Parkinson’s victims. I knew the sensation of falling that occurred moments after it was initiated. I was prepared for the way the breath pushed from you in a forced exhale when you landed.

Everything was still dark.

The world wasn't done loading.

It was unsettling to be there, in the waiting room before the show. I should have created something a bit more pleasant than complete darkness. I felt as though I’d been swallowed up by the nothing.