Lost and Found (Twist of Fate #1)(69)

Begging.

I might still be that unlovable kid, but I’d be damned if I was going to give him the satisfaction of ripping my heart to shreds again.

“A walk down memory lane and a few hot fucks was a good way to pass the time, but we both know it’s not something you can build a future on,” I said.

He looked stricken, but he nodded. “Yeah… yeah, you’re right.”

“Have a safe flight home, Bennett,” I managed to get out before I felt my throat completely close up.

I was dimly aware of him saying something equally polite to me, but I didn’t even wait for him to finish before I turned on my heel and began walking.

Because I’d be damned if I let Bennett be the one to turn his back on me first.

Not again.





Chapter 32





Bennett





“B, please, you need to eat.”

I shook my head. I knew if I ate a thing, it would just come back up. After all, that’s what had happened as soon as Xander had turned his back on me. I’d barely managed to wait until he was out of sight before I’d rushed around the side of the lodge and thrown up in some bushes. Aiden had been the one to find me on my knees, my arms wrapped around my waist as I’d sobbed so hard that I’d made myself sick again and I’d retched a second time, though there’d been nothing left in my stomach at that point to expel.

I heard Aiden sigh. I was dimly aware of him setting the tray of food on the small table in the room, but I didn’t bother telling him he should just take the damn thing away because the food would likely be spoiled by the time the pain in my belly eased enough to let me even try filling it with something.

He left me.

I still couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even know how it happened. One second I’d been prepared to throw myself to my knees to beg him to pick me over Jake, the next he’d been telling me fucking me had been a great distraction.

The mattress shifted as Aiden climbed into the bed with me and lay down so that he was facing me. His fingers came out to skim the wound on my head. He’d been oddly quiet himself after I’d told him about the cause of my injuries.

Quiet and almost clingy.

Normal Aiden would have been telling me that Xander could go fuck himself, but this Aiden hadn’t said much after I’d told him everything that had happened between me and Xander after we’d split off from the rest of the group.

I almost wanted asshole Aiden back.

“Something must have happened, B,” he said softly as he toyed with my hair. “From everything you told me after the river—”

“Jake happened,” I cut in. “You should have seen them together, Aid. The way they talked about all the trips they’d been on. Even if they aren’t together, they should be. He’s everything I’m not.”

“What does that even mean?”

I wiped at the tears that wouldn’t stop randomly leaking from my eyes. “He likes the same things as Xander. The outdoorsy shit. And he’s beautiful.” I shook my head. “He isn’t a smart-ass, he isn’t klutzy, he doesn’t get pissy…”

“You met the guy for like five minutes, Bennett. You sure you’re just not projecting stuff on him?”

“Are you seriously going all shrinky on me?” I asked. “I saw the way Jake was looking at him. I didn’t need more than thirty seconds to know there was something there. And the whole way back they were talking like I wasn’t even there.”

“Did you try talking to Xander about it?”

“Talk about what? What was I supposed to say? Hey Xander, I’m head over heels in love with you and have been my whole life, so dump the hot wilderness guy who also happens to live within spitting distance of you and pick me, a guy whose family put you through hell and who lives 2000 miles away in a world that you yourself said you could never live in again.”

“Sounds perfect to me.” Aiden grinned at me and I couldn’t stop the smile that stole across my mouth. But it didn’t last.

“He couldn’t get away from me fast enough, Aid. Last night… last night happened because he was feeling guilty about what happened at the river.”

“Jesus, B, for someone who graduated with honors, you’re so damn stupid sometimes.”

“Thanks?” I said.

Aiden sighed and said, “Bennett, tell me something, okay. And think about it before you answer.”

I nodded.

“What’s your first reaction when you start doubting yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

Another sigh. “Okay, let’s look at it this way. When we broke up, what did you say?”

“Really?” I asked in disbelief. “I just got my heart stomped on and you’re bringing that up?”

“Shut up,” he said impatiently. “You and I both know that what you were feeling then isn’t anything even in the same universe as what you’re feeling now.”

He was right, but that didn’t make me feel any better. Aiden had been my first real boyfriend, not to mention the one who’d introduced me to sex. I hadn’t loved him, but I thought I had at the time. When he’d ended things, I’d been heartbroken, but not for the right reasons.