Lincoln in the Bardo(30)
Only there is nothing left to do.
Free myself of this darkness as I can, remain useful, not go mad.
Think of him, when I do, as being in some bright place, free of suffering, resplendent in a new mode of being.
Thus thought the gentleman.
Thoughtfully combing a patch of grass with his hand.
roger bevins iii
L.
Sad.
roger bevins iii Very sad.
hans vollman Especially given what we knew.
roger bevins iii His boy was not “in some bright place, free of suffering.”
hans vollman No.
roger bevins iii
Not “resplendent in a new mode of being.”
hans vollman Au contraire.
roger bevins iii Above us, an errant breeze loosened many storm-broken branches.
hans vollman Which fell to the earth at various distances.
roger bevins iii As if the woods were full of newly roused creatures.
hans vollman I wonder, said Mr. Vollman.
And I knew what was coming.
roger bevins iii
LI.
We wished the lad to go, and thereby save himself. His father wished him to be “in some bright place, free of suffering, resplendent in a new mode of being.”
A happy confluence of wishes.
It seemed we must persuade the gentleman to return with us to the white stone home. Once there, we must encourage the lad into the gentleman, hoping that, while therein, having overheard his father’s wish, he would be convinced to— hans vollman
A fine idea, I said. But we have no method by which to accomplish it.
roger bevins iii
(There has historically been some confusion around this issue.) hans vollman
No confusion at all, friend.
It is simply not within our power to communicate with those of that ilk, much less persuade them to do anything.
And I think you know it.
roger bevins iii
LII.
I beg to differ.
We caused a wedding once, if you will recall.
hans vollman
Highly debatable.
roger bevins iii
A couple strolling here, on the brink of ending their engagement, reversed their decision, under our influence.
hans vollman
Almost certainly a coincidence.
roger bevins iii
Several of us—Hightower, the three of us, and—what was his name? The decapitated fellow?
hans vollman
Ellers.
roger bevins iii
Ellers, of course!
Bored, we swarmed and entered that couple and, through the combined force of our concentrated wishfulness, were able to effect— hans vollman
This much is true: They were overcome with sudden passion and retreated behind one of the stone homes.
roger bevins iii
To act upon said passion.
hans vollman
While we watched.
roger bevins iii
I have misgivings about that. The watching.
hans vollman
Well, you had no misgivings on that day, my dear fellow. Your member was swollen to an astonishing size. And even on a normal day, it is swollen to— roger bevins iii
I seem to remember you watching as well. I do not recall the slightest aversion of any of your many, many— hans vollman
Truly, it was invigorating to see such passion.
The fury of their embraces was remarkable.
roger bevins iii
Yes.
They sent birds winging from the trees with their terrific moans of pleasure.
hans vollman
After which they renewed their commitment and departed hand in hand, reconciled, betrothed again.
roger bevins iii
And we had done it.
hans vollman
Come now. They were young, lustful, alone in an isolated spot, on a beautiful spring night. They hardly needed any help from— roger bevins iii
Friend: We are here.
Already here.
Within.
A train approaches a wall at a fatal rate of speed. You hold a switch in your hand, that accomplishes you know not what: do you throw it? Disaster is otherwise assured.
It costs you nothing.
Why not try?
hans vollman
LIII.
There in the gentleman, Mr. Bevins reached for my hand.
hans vollman
And we began.
roger bevins iii
To persuade the gentleman.
hans vollman
To attempt to persuade him.
roger bevins iii
Together, the two of us began to think of the white stone home.
hans vollman
Of the boy.
roger bevins iii
His face, his hair, his voice.
hans vollman
His gray suit.
roger bevins iii
Turned-in feet.
hans vollman
Scuffed shoes.
roger bevins iii
Stand up, go back, we thought as one. Your boy requires your counsel.
hans vollman
He is in grave danger.
roger bevins iii
It is anathema for children to tarry here.
hans vollman
His headstrong nature, a virtue in that previous place, imperils him here, where the natural law, harsh and arbitrary, brooks no rebellion, and must be scrupulously obeyed.
roger bevins iii
We request, therefore, that you rise.