Instead of You(48)

“I hope Chelsea doesn’t mind the pizza.”

“Mom, you know she won’t.”

“Part of me kind of wishes she would. I’d love to see the feisty side of Chelsea, love to see her get worked up over something. Anything. “

“She’ll come around.” I tried to sound confident in my words, but the truth was, I had no idea. I could hope, just as much as anyone, that eventually she’d be all right, but I knew there was no guarantee.

Just like it’d been for over twenty years, my mom pushed open the door to the Wallace household without knocking. We stepped in, but I stopped suddenly when I collided with my mother’s back. I was not even a foot inside the house and my mother was stalled. I followed her gaze and my eyes landed on Mrs. Wallace, sitting on the couch, showered, and looking tired but completely lucid.

She looked more alive than she had in weeks.

“Chels,” my mom breathed. I placed both my hands on my mother’s arms, near her shoulders, my heart nearly breaking at the sound of my mother’s unbelieving words, as if she were seeing a ghost.

“Hey, Luce.” She smiled and my mother’s shoulders started to shake, moving with a mixture of laughter and tears. Even I was surprised by the transformation. Mrs. Wallace looked almost normal. She still had dark circles under her eyes, and she’d lost a lot of weight, but the distant, faraway look in her eyes was practically gone.

Mrs. Wallace stood from the couch, pushing up on the cushion with force to lift herself, weak from weeks of not using her muscles, but she made it. Then she slowly walked toward us. I put gentle pressure on my mother’s back, urging her into the house. She shuffled forward and I was able to enter and close the door behind me.

I’d been so wrapped up in Mrs. Wallace, I hadn’t noticed Hayes in the kitchen, but my eyes swung to him as he walked to my mother, taking the pizza boxes from her just in time for Mrs. Wallace to wrap my mother in a hug.

“It’s good to see you,” Mrs. Wallace whispered, still hugging my mother tightly.

“You, too.”

Both of them had silent tears streaking their faces, and I wiped away one of my own. A light touch caressed my arm and I looked over to see Hayes with his hand wrapped around my elbow, steering me toward the kitchen. I followed him and we started setting the table and getting dinner ready, giving our mothers a moment alone.

A minute later they broke apart, both laughing lightly, wiping beneath their eyes, Mrs. Wallace’s smile tinted with sadness still. I wondered if I’d ever see her again without the shroud of grief. Probably not.

“Shall we eat?” Hayes’s question caught their attention and I watched his mother’s gaze soften when her eyes fell on him.

“It’s just pizza,” my mom said, defending the meal we’d brought.

“It’s perfect,” Mrs. Wallace said with a smile.

We all sat at the table, Hayes taking the seat next to mine, making me hide a smile. Our mothers held light conversation, never venturing into any heavy topics, and I was content to sit and listen. I knew the conversation was good for Mrs. Wallace, that she was taking a big step in moving forward, but it was also good for my mom; she’d missed her best friend.

When a foot hooked around my ankle beneath the table, I tried not to react, but couldn’t help it when my eyes stole away to Hayes. He wasn’t looking at me, but I saw his smile anyhow. He brought my foot toward him, captured it really, and then held it hostage between his own. Every few moments I felt his toes move up my calf, making it impossible for me to eat without looking like I was trying to keep a secret.

“McKenzie’s been a big help around here, Luce. I really appreciate her.” My name from Mrs. Wallace’s mouth caught my attention. “I shouldn’t have leaned on her as much as I did, but in some ways, she’s all I have left of Cory.”

My stomach plummeted all the way to my knees. Warmth drained from my face and I’m sure all my color went with it. I shrugged. “I haven’t done anything. Just brought over some food and stuff.” Mrs. Wallace reached her hand over and placed it on mine, squeezing it gently.

“Just having you here helps, McKenzie. When I lost Cory, I knew I’d lost you too, in a way. You’re the closest thing to a daughter I’ve ever had, and I was looking forward to the day I could call you mine officially.”

Oh, God, no. My eyes flitted to my mother’s and she looked like a combination of sad for her friend and worried about me. Mrs. Wallace’s words were landing on my shoulders like boulders, pinning me down in a way I hadn’t felt in weeks. Hayes’s foot unhooked from mine and it was as though he’d cut the rope to my life raft, sending me out to sea to fend for myself.

“Mom,” he said, his voice soft but rough.

“Oh, sweetie,” she said, waving one hand, dismissing him, while the other wiped a tear from her face. “I know you’ll marry someone one day, but it won’t be the same. McKenzie and Cory were meant to be, from day one.”

All the oxygen in the room was being sucked out by her words, my lungs shriveling in my chest, aching for air.

“Chelsea,” my mom whispered, slowly shaking her head. Mrs. Wallace looked at her, then seemed to wake up a little, as if her mind had been somewhere else. She looked around the table, probably taking in my stunned expression and Hayes’s face, which looked like a cross between angry and murderous.