Image (Insight #3)(57)

“The demon is the center,” I replied, not wanting to see that the largest images were Alyianna and Jayda.

“Half of your face is on each side of the painting. The demon is the last thing on your mind; Landen and Drake are the next largest images,” Olivia argued.

Aggravated, I pulled her hand and took her closer to the canvas. “Do you see the ash wings? They’re the entire background; you’re just focusing on its body,” I argued. I knew I’d spent more time painting the wings than anything else.

“No, I don’t see the wings because the artist doesn’t see the wings because she can’t get past a life she can’t remember,” Olivia said, looking me dead in the eye.

“What are you talking about?” I said, louder than I intended. “I am the artist,” I said, patting my chest.

“I know, so you should recognize your own mind,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her petite figure. “You painted to get it out of your head; now you can see what’s causing you so much grief.”

“I didn’t need to paint to realize that I’d caused all of this - but thanks for pointing it out,” I said.

I started putting my brushes away, a little more aggressively than needed. I whipped the paint off my hands and threw the towel at the canvas, then slouched in my chair. Olivia carefully pulled the towel off the damp canvas, then dapped her fingers around the damage I had caused, trying to repair it.

“It's going in the trash; you’re wasting your time,” I said to her.

Olivia looked over her shoulder at me, cleaning her hands with my towel. “Not until you face it. When you do, I’ll personally burn it,” she said, stepping closer to me.

“What else do you want me to face? I’ve already stared the devil in the eyes,” I said.

I stared at her, watching her struggle with her intent, her emotions; she didn’t know if she should push me or give me the space the rest of my family had afforded me. I felt her sympathy, her anger, her fear. I sighed and furrowed my eyebrows.

“Just push me – and start with the emotion of anger; I’m in the mood for that,” I said shortly.

I knew that bluntly calling her out was irritating to her - and she had a right to be; as human beings, the only privacy we’re granted is our intent, our emotions. My insights allowed me to invade that privacy, though, to make my own judgment - even before the person had come to one.

“Fine then; get over yourself,” she said.

“What?” She was too blunt.

“Get over who you were - good or bad. Knowing you’ve lived before, conquered before, should make you stronger - not weaker,” she said.

“That’s not the issue; the issue is that somehow I’ve managed to become a target for the devil, that I’ve managed to entangle Landen and Drake in the same twisted fate - and no matter what I do, it’s not good enough...someone gets hurt.”

“I was under the impression that we were going to find your twin – the ‘good soul mate’ – and that that would solve the Drake issue,” she said, mocking her hands in quotation.

“That’s a broken heart; I’m talking about lost lives. Everything you went through, I went through; what I put Landen and Drake through will be pointless if Delen is overtaken by the rest of the dimension.”

“Finding Chrispin, finding Stella, you having Landen – that’s not pointless. Nothing you’ve done will be in vain,” she argued.

“That still leaves Drake’s broken heart,” I said shortly.

“See, you are the issue,” she argued.

“NO - Drake is,” I said as the frustration made itself known in my Aura.

“Drake is because you are. Before you knew you had past lives with him, he was nothing to you; but now – knowing – you blame who you were. You blame yourself, and that’s just stupid,” she said, enticed by my argument.

I looked at the painting, to my images framing it: Drake, who stood behind Jayda, and Landen, who stood behind Alyainna. Staring at the four of them, I didn’t see the demon; Olivia was right.

“How do I fix it?” I said, looking to the corner of my blank canvas.

Olivia stepped to her side to block my view. “In nineteen years, in this life as Willow Haywood, have you ever loved anyone beyond Landen?” she asked.

My eyes fell to the ground. Three days ago, I would have said no instantly - but knowing Drake, his perspective...I did have love for him...nothing that could compare to the way I loved Landen, but I did care about him, and I did want him to be happy.

Olivia stepped closer to me and raised my chin. Her eyes searched my face. “You know what kind of love I’m talking about,” she said quietly.

“What I feel for Landen can never be overshadowed,” I answered, avoiding her eyes.

Olivia held up one finger to signify that I was one, one with Landen.

I could hear the laughter of everyone outside; the wall was finished, and an aggressive game of football was underway. From my second story balcony, I could see Brady and Landen soaring through the air; all the privileges of controlling your energy were in full effect. Olivia debated taking me outside to show me why I should be happy, but her intent shifted as a new approach to deal with me came to her.

“You know, back home those girls we went to school with, they had boyfriend after boyfriend, but they managed to walk the halls, go to the same parties, and remain friends with them; surely there’s enough room in this universe for you and Drake,” Olivia said.