I Stand Before You (Judge Me Not #2)(91)

I creep closer, hidden by the tarp covering the back of the bake sale stand. And that is when I hear Missy hiss, “You don’t have to be so rude to me every time you see me, Chase. I mean, after all, it’s not like we’re strangers. You sure weren’t pushing me away that night at the Anchor Inn when you were making me come…or when I was giving you head.”

What?

“What?” I speak my thought out loud as I come out from behind the stand.

Missy stares at me like a deer caught in headlights. And Chase? Well, guilt is written all over my lying boy’s face. He may not have f*cked her, but it would have been nice to know he’s obviously touched Missy Metzger…intimately. And I definitely would have appreciated being told Missy has her hands—and mouth apparently—on my man.

I clench the string wrapped around my fingers and the red balloon jerks to the left and to the right. Chase sees what I have. He knows the balloon is for him, he knows it’s supposed to mean something. So much for magic, I despondently think.

Chase looks guiltier than ever as he closes his eyes and swears.

“Is it true?” I ask my so-busted boyfriend, even though I know the answer.

“It’s true,” he mutters, hanging his head in—I guess—shame.

I shake my head and frown. I just knew this was all too good to last, I can never hold on to anything special.

With that thought in mind, I turn away from the man who’s the best friend I’ve ever had and, more importantly, the love of my life.

I don’t look back to see his reaction as I release the red balloon into the black nighttime sky.





Chapter Fifteen


Chase


I watch as the second red carnival-bought balloon in my life disappears into the night sky.

Fucking Missy and her big-f*cking mouth. Speaking of which, she’s yapping something right now, an apology.

“Little late for that,” I say as I walk away and go after my girl.

Kay can’t go far, I drove. Sure enough, when I approach I see her standing by my truck with her arms crossed. “Get away from me,” she says when I reach her.

Sweet girl is too kind to pack her words with the kind of venom she’s probably feeling right now, so her words come out more strained than threatening. I resist the urge to smile. Even angry my girl is adorable.

“Kay, it happened before I met you.” I try to brush her hair from her shoulder, but she smacks my hand away. Harder than her usual playful smacks, the claws are definitely out.

“I don’t care when it happened,” she retorts angrily. “You should have told me. I’ve hung out with Missy, sat with her in church, all while having no clue. Dammit, Chase, I even went to the stupid Anchor Inn with her.” Kay flails her hand. “And that’s like the scene of the crime or something. Not knowing she’s had her hands on you makes me look like a fool. I have a right to know that my friend blew my boyfriend.”

When Kay puts it like that I can see her point. I should have told her a long time ago. And I planned to, I just never got around to following through. But, shit, we’re always honest—and we’ve shared our sexual histories—so it was stupid of me to leave out what happened with Missy.

I apologize, since it’s all I can do now.

My girl is still steaming. She’s silent as she reluctantly gets in the truck. On the way back to the house, she makes me tell her exactly what happened that night at the Anchor Inn. I see her cringe and grip the seat like she’d probably grip Missy’s neck if she were in the truck with us right now. “It meant nothing,” I emphatically state.

Sweet girl softens up a tad, she sighs. “It’s just…”

“What?” I ask. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Kay wipes some dust away from the dashboard. “It just bothers me, Chase, that she’s been intimate with you. I know there are a lot of women in your past, but this was recent. And that kind of intimacy just feels like it belongs to us now, like it’s something special, something that’s just ours.”

I put my hand on her knee, and surprisingly she lets me keep it there. “It is, baby girl, it is ours.” I hesitate, gather my words, and try to explain. “What happened between me and Missy wasn’t intimacy. We were just mindlessly fulfilling base needs.” Kay winces and I hurriedly add, “What I’m saying is that it was meaningless. There’s no comparison between the things you and I do and what happened with that girl. I love you, Kay, and the things I do to you—the things I do with you—every single one of them involves my heart. You own me, sweet girl. I told you that before, and it’s true.”

Kay mulls my words over and allows my hand to remain. I see this as a start.

She lets out a puff of air and shakes her head. “Is that it, then?” she asks. “No other women since you’ve been out of prison?”

“Just you, baby.”

Kay huffs. “What about that night, at the Anchor Inn? Anything else I should know?”

I think about the coke and how I wanted to use that night. I need to share this with my girl too. She deserves to know all my bad, including the demons I still battle. So I tell her how very much I craved cocaine when I found out Missy had some in her purse. I admit I wanted a line…or two, and that I came dangerously close to asking Missy for some.