I Stand Before You (Judge Me Not #2)(87)

“That would have been ideal,” I agree. “But we were too busy fu—uh, we were preoccupied this morning, remember?”

Kay blushes. “Yeah, we sure were.”

Baby girl’s cheeks are so red I have to turn my head to keep from laughing. What I wouldn’t give to know what part of what we did this morning she’s thinking about right now. Hopefully, all of it. I sure can’t forget a single moment. In fact, I soon realize I’d better direct my thoughts elsewhere, as I am starting to sport a rod that has nothing to do with fishing. I shift, adjust myself, and concentrate on the scenery.

It’s pretty down here by the creek. The banks are grassy and there are wildflowers up along the crests. The tall trees in the surrounding area provide a fair amount of shade where we’re sitting, but the sun is still shining brightly through the canopy of leaves above us.

I suddenly remember that I slipped the sunglasses I bought for Kay yesterday—the ones like the junkie destroyed—into the pocket of my jeans before we left the house. When I see my girl shielding her eyes with her hand, I figure the time is right to give them to her.

I take the sunglasses from my pocket and hold them out to my girl. “Shades?” I lift an eyebrow.

Kay glances down at what I’m holding and her caramels widen. “Oh my God, Chase, you bought me new sunglasses.” She takes her new faux-designer eyewear from my hand and holds them up. “They look exactly like the ones that jerk destroyed.”

“Yeah, I remembered you saying the day we met that you bought the pair I fixed at the dollar store up by Agway. I was up there yesterday, getting some of the stuff for your surprise, so I figured I’d stop in and buy you a new pair.”

My girl slips on her new shades and smiles over at me, looking quite cute and beautiful. “Thank you,” she mouths.

I kiss her cheek, and whisper against her skin, “You’re quite welcome.”

“You’re too sweet to me,” she says when I lean back, like maybe she doesn’t deserve this gesture. But she so very much does.

Over the next hour or so we catch a few fish. They’re all bluegills though, so we throw them all back in. Overall, when we add up everything, we determine I caught one more fish than Kay, so I win the bet. Thank-f*cking-Jesus.

Kay tells me to choose a new prize, since she already lives in my apartment. I say just a kiss will do. But one kiss leads to another, and then another, until we end up making out on the bank by the creek for the next thirty minutes. Not that I am complaining.

Later that evening, after Kay leaves for the church cemetery, I go out to the back porch, sit down on the swing that Kay and I were rocking in this morning, and call my brother.

Soon as he answers, Will thanks me for the money.

“What did you need it for?” I cautiously ask. I’m still worried he used it for something illegal.

And that worry is just about confirmed when my brother doesn’t answer. “Will?”

“What?” he mumbles, sounding put out.

“Don’t be f*cking stupid,” I warn.

He pauses, and then breathes out one long steady breath. “Everything is cool, okay? I am not being stupid.”

I have no choice but to accept his answer at face value. I am too far away to do anything else. I change the subject to something positive, the artwork he e-mailed me. I tell him how f*cking fantastic it is, and add that I think he has the talent to eventually get his comic book published.

Will tries to play it off, but I can tell he’s pleased. I hear it in his voice when he gives me an enthusiastic, detailed summary of his apocalyptic-Vegas story line.

“I’m thinking about adding zombies,” he says excitedly. “Zombies are big right now. What do you think, Chase?”

Some invisible string tugs at my heart. It moves me to hear my little brother say my name like that, like he used to, like he did when he looked up to me—once upon a time, a lifetime ago. Maybe there really is hope in believing I can fully rebuild this relationship with my brother.

What I really want right now is to tell Will how much I still love him, and how f*cking sorry I am for ever having let him down. There are a hundred more still-unsaid things I wish I could blurt out, but it’s too soon to start up with shit like that. I don’t want my brother to freak and shut me out again, so I just take a deep breath and say, “I think zombies are a great idea, Will.”

We talk a few more minutes, then my brother says he has to go, his ride is due to pick him up. “I don’t want to keep her waiting,” he tells me, “so I’ll just talk to you—”

“Whoa, hold up,” I cut in. “Her?” I can’t help but slip into older-brother-teasing mode. Plus, I am curious. “And this girl drives? Are we dating an older woman, little bro? Have to say, kid, I am impressed.”

Will laughs, and says all sheepishly, “She’s only a year older, Chase. In fact, she just got her license a couple of weeks ago.” He pauses, then adds excitedly, “Oh, yeah, and get this, her mom already bought her a car, a pretty sweet one too.”

I don’t really care about the car, but I do ask, “Does she have a name?”

“Yeah, her name is Cassie.” Will is silent for a beat.

When he does speak again, it’s in this softer tone, and I sense right away this Cassie-girl is important to my brother. “I like hanging out with her, Chase. She’s…I don’t know…I guess she’s just different from most girls my age.” He sighs. “Her life’s not all that great, either. I mean, her mom has an important job and makes lots of money, but she’s gone a lot for work. She got remarried a few months ago, so Cassie’s got a stepdad now. He’s home a lot, but he’s a real piece of shit.” Will’s tone sounds angry, but then turns bereft when he adds, “Cassie lost her real dad a few years ago. Just like us, Chase.”