Highly Illogical Behavior(50)

“You have something you need to tell me?” she said from the doorway.

“What?” He turned back quickly to face her. He was sitting on the floor playing a video game.

“Why were you naked at Solomon’s?”

“Are you kidding me? How’d you even know that?”

“I read your e-mail. Just answer the question.”

“You read my e-mail?” he asked, getting up off the floor. “Why would you do that?”

“Look, I’m glad I did or you’d try to stretch this out even longer.”

“Stretch what out? Can you please tell me what the hell is going on?”

“You want to explain to me what that e-mail meant?”

“I got to Sol’s yesterday and the dude was skinny-dipping, so I just dropped my shorts and jumped in. I thought it would be funny.”

“It’s not.”

“It’s kind of funny,” he said. “He was just out there swimming around naked. I love that guy. He’s so weird. I figured it wouldn’t bother him. You know I have no shame. I spend most of my time wearing Speedos in front of complete strangers.”

“But he’s gay. Don’t take your clothes off in front of boys who like boys.”

“What are you, my grandmother?” he said. “Just because I’m a guy doesn’t mean he wants to jump my bones.”

“You’re right,” she said. “But he’s obviously in love with you, and I’m not sure the feeling isn’t mutual.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked, standing up. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him this angry. “So what you’re really here to ask is if I’m gay?”

“We used to be together all the time, you know. Now I only see you at Sol’s. It’s like I pick you up, take you to daycare, and then take you home. And most of the time I’m just sitting there watching you guys fawn over each other.”

“I can’t help we like the same stuff. You’re the one who introduced us. And if you think that makes me gay, then maybe you’re the last person who should be helping someone else.”

“Why can’t you just tell me the truth, Clark?”

“You’re really convinced, aren’t you? Wow.”

“Well, the last time I saw you naked, you couldn’t wait to get dressed and now I find out you’re stripping down at Solomon’s like it’s no big deal.”

“Because it isn’t,” he said, raising his voice. “Are you seriously that insecure?”

Lisa stayed silent for a few seconds, looking up at Clark where he stood. He was so aggravated his eyes were tearing over, and he stared down with a look of deep disappointment on his face.

“If you’re not gay, then what’s wrong with us?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” he said. “All you talk about is getting out of here. And we both know that even if you do get into Woodlawn, the chances of me going somewhere close by are pretty slim.”

“I can’t afford to go without the essay anyway.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

“That’s unlikely,” she said, standing up. “I feel crazy. I really do. I see the way you look at each other. The way you are together. It’s so obvious.”

“Look, I can’t help whatever feelings Sol has for me, okay? That’s not my fault.”

“You keep going back,” she said. “Don’t you think there’s a reason you love going over there so much?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Because I finally have a friend who isn’t completely self-consumed.”

“Clark just . . . be who you are and I’ll still love you.”

“Get out,” he said, eerily calm. “Oh my God, get out. I’m done with this.”

Clark shut his bedroom door behind her, and she walked slowly down the hallway to the front door. She passed by Drew, shooting basketball in the driveway, but Lisa never said hello or even acknowledged her. She just got in her car and drove off.

If he was telling the truth, then that meant he’d fallen out of love with her for another reason, and she just wasn’t ready to accept that. Her suspicions had been right, that was the only logical explanation for Clark’s actions. He could deny it all he wanted to, but the second he told her to get out Lisa knew she didn’t really know him anymore.

Clark was obviously too afraid to admit the truth. And why wouldn’t he be—they lived in a town full of middle-class conservatives and a celebrated high school athlete coming out of the closet would be big news. And being the one gay guy on the water polo team did not sound like the kind of attention Clark would ever want or need. So she could see why telling her the truth was so hard for him and why asking her to leave had been the smartest thing Clark could’ve done. Now she could help him, despite the heartache it would cause her.

She drove to Solomon’s house and parked in the driveway. She knew he’d probably be outside where he wouldn’t hear the doorbell, so she hopped the back fence. She immediately saw Solomon floating on a raft in the middle of the pool. He had on sunglasses, so she wasn’t sure if he was asleep or awake until she stepped closer and he turned her way.

“Lisa! Thank God. It’s too quiet here.”