Going Long (Waiting on the Sidelines #2)(35)
“I do like you, Gavin…but…” I held up my hand to stop his smile from growing. “I’m in love with Reed. What I feel for you is a close friendship, and I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s all I have to give to you. I never should have let it get as far as it did that night. And I’m so sorry that it gave you the wrong idea. But I can’t be with you. I can’t give up what I have, because it means the world to me—and it’s killing me right now, knowing how badly I hurt Reed.”
I stood up to walk over to Gavin a little, his head was hanging down, and his brow was bunched. I knew he didn’t expect me to leap into his arms, but I also think he thought he could chip away at me a little today, make me doubt my heart. “I’m sorry, Gavin,” I said right in front of him.
Tilting his head up a little, he just bit the tip of his tongue and nodded, chuckling quietly, mostly embarrassed, I could tell. I wanted to make it better. “I really am flattered, though. You have to know, most of the girls in this building would smack me right now at turning you down. You’re kind of the resident hottie you know,” I smiled, joking, but also being honest. Most of the freshmen in our dorm were in love with Gavin, always showing up at his door to ask for help with ridiculous things, just so they could talk to him.
Unable to stand the tension in the room any longer, I turned back to my laundry pile to look like I was ready to leave. Getting my hint, Gavin stood, a little less confident looking than when I let him in a few moments earlier. “Well, I guess, thanks for being honest,” he half smiled. “Brutally honest…”
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to be brutal,” I said, following him to my door.
“I’m kidding. You weren’t. I just really hoped for a different response,” he said, opening the door a little and backing out. “I just haven’t met anyone quite like you…not since Maya. You’re really smart and beautiful…”
He stopped at his words and lingered on my face for a few seconds. I was feeling the heat from his stare, and it was making me uncomfortable, and forcing me to look down. I held on to the side of the door to keep myself grounded, ready to close it if I needed to. I flinched a bit when he reached up to sweep a few strands of hair from my face, but then shut my eyes when he tucked them behind my ear. When I opened them again, he was looking at me, really looking at me. And I knew by that look, that we couldn’t be friends. For him, that would never be enough.
“Thanks, that was really nice of you to say,” I said, smiling and genuine, because it was. But I had nothing to give back. Unsure of what to do, I just reached up to hug him a little. “Thank you for understanding,” I whispered.
Gavin hugged back, a full hug with everything that came with it. I felt every single fingertip slide behind me and squeeze. And as we pulled apart, I felt his lips graze the side of my cheek, and then he hovered by my ear for just a brief second. “I had to try,” he said, grinning as he backed fully away, and then turned to go upstairs.
I closed the door as soon as he was gone and leaned back on it, pushing the hairs from my now flushed face. What the hell? I’m not the girl that has boys fighting for her. This was awful. I pulled my lit book from my shelf and plopped on my bed, opening up to the beatnik section. Laundry could wait; I just wasn’t feeling it any more.
Reed
It was like the worst f*cking nightmare, and it just wouldn’t end.
I left practice and headed straight for Nolan’s campus. I didn’t have my phone or my wallet, and I was pretty sure I was going to have to stop back at my dad’s house to get cash for gas. I just had to get there. The more I thought about her and what happened, the more I wanted to give her the chance to explain it away. I was so pissed at myself for almost getting carried away with some one-night-stand the night before, how could I blame Nolan for the same damn thing?
But that all flew right out the window the minute I got to her floor and saw that * with his hands all over her. He was leaving her room, and I watched him kiss her face and whisper something in her ear. The way she reacted to it, flushed and heated, was enough to send me over the f*cking edge.
He backed away as she closed the door, and when he turned around, and stuffed his hands in his pockets with the huge-ass smile on his face, I just wanted to vomit. He knew I was there; he didn’t even look up when he got to the stairwell door. “What are you doing here, Reed? She doesn’t want to see you,” he said, not even man enough to make eye contact with me.
“Who are you to tell me what she wants,” I bit back, bracing myself for a fight.
Gavin walked back into the stairwell, just smirking, and I followed him in. He stopped after only a few steps and turned back to look down at me, leaning on the handrail in a way that just oozed of condescension. “I’m the guy that’s here, that’s who. Who are you? The guy that shows up every few days, and keeps her locked up in a f*cking box so she can’t really live?” He was attacking me with his words, and I could feel my pulse kick up in defense.
“She’s my girlfriend, bro. You need to back the f*ck off,” I said, stepping up one level to meet his gaze and challenge him. But he stepped down to meet me, our chests inches apart while we stared each other down.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m the one that was here for her last night, when you just left, and she wants me here,” he had a hint of something on his face, not quite a smirk, but it was superior, and it was making me question things.