From Ashes (From Ashes #1)(35)
CASSIDY
OH MY GOD, he’s here. Gage is here. My heart stopped when I looked up and saw those bright green eyes staring down at me. Dear Lord, he was so handsome. My dreams over the last three months hadn’t done him justice at all. I tried to go back to work, but I was so flustered, I could barely concentrate on the drinks I was making.
Why is he here? And is he waiting for me, or is he meeting someone here? He wouldn’t have asked if I was off soon if he wasn’t waiting, right? Damn it, Cassidy . . . calm down and just breathe. I put out another two drinks and couldn’t help looking over at him. Like he could sense that I was watching him, he lifted up his head and met my gaze. I couldn’t look away and I wished desperately that he would for the both of us. God, it didn’t help that he was wearing my favorite shirt of his; it was an old Ramones shirt, and the color green was almost the exact same color as his eyes. I needed him to stop looking at me; I could get lost in those eyes on any given day, even from across a coffee shop.
I was finally able to tear my eyes away when Stacey, one of my coworkers, asked about a few drinks she was waiting on in the drive-thru. Why did he have to come to this Starbucks? There were tons in the area, and dozens of other coffee shops. I didn’t know where he’d moved to, but this couldn’t have been the only one close to him, and even if it was, you only had to drive an extra five or so minutes before finding another. I needed these ten minutes to go by faster; I felt like I was going to break down right there in front of everyone. In the last six weeks since Ty and I had gotten together, I’d slowly been able to start having a normal life. It wasn’t overnight by any means—I still ached for Gage, still dreamed of him on a nightly basis—but I was finally laughing again. And now here he was. Bringing back every good and bad memory of him. I didn’t want to still be in love with Gage, and his being there wasn’t going to help a thing.
For the rest of my shift, I kept my eyes on my drinks only; I knew it was rude to the customers who came up to the bar, but if I looked at them, I would look at Gage. And I just couldn’t handle that right now.
“Cassidy.” Stacey grabbed my arm and I jumped.
“Huh?”
“You’re off, clock out and go home . . . are you okay?”
I took a shaky breath in and mashed my lips in a tight line as I barely shook my head.
“Come on.” Her hand, which was still on my arm, led me to the front to clock out, then dragged me to the back. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s here!” I blurted, and tried to calm my shaking.
“Who is?” Stacey looked up to the monitor showing the store’s cameras.
“Gage . . . Gage is here. Oh my God, why is he doing this? He doesn’t want me! He never did, and he left without so much as a good-bye.”
Her eyes went wide. “Oh shit. Tyler’s cousin?”
I nodded and took off my green apron. “I think he’s waiting for me, should I talk to him?”
“Do you want to?”
“I don’t know. I do, but I don’t know if I can.”
“Cassidy,” she said with a sigh, “just because you’re with Tyler now doesn’t mean he can control who you talk to.”
“No, no. It’s not that. It’s just—I still love him, Stace. I don’t want to, but I do. I thought I was getting better, but when he showed up just now, I don’t know.”
She gave me a quick hug. “It’s up to you. Before you go back out there, just think about whether you’ll regret it if you don’t talk to him.”
I nodded and waited five more minutes, deciding that if he was still out there and alone when I walked out, then I would go up and talk to him. With one last deep breath, I walked out from the back and around the corner. He was in the same spot, head down and spinning his most likely empty cup around in his hands. Like earlier, he stopped abruptly and his head slowly came up. He looked at me, then to the door that I was next to, and started to stand up, his eyes pleading. When I began walking toward him, he sat back down and seemed to clear his throat a few times. I sat in the chair next to him and pulled my legs up underneath me, so I wouldn’t continue to bounce them up and down nervously.
“How are you?” He finally broke the silence after a few minutes.
“I’m fine.” I hated that my voice sounded so small. “You?”
“I’m all right. You, uh—you look really good, Cassidy.”
Please don’t tell me that. I need to get over you, I need you to be mean again or just go back to avoiding me. “You left.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I needed to.”
I nodded. “Look, I understand you were mad for whatever reason, but you didn’t even say bye. You were just gone, Gage. Was it that bad having to live with a girl, or was it just me?” I shook my head and grumbled to myself, “Of course it was just me.”
“I should have said good-bye, I should have told you I was leaving. I just, I didn’t know how.”
“Why are you here, Gage?”
Pain flashed through his green eyes and his brow furrowed. “Um. I, uh—needed to see you. Tyler’s been asking me to come around; I needed to know if that would be a bad idea.”
“You’re grown, you’re free to do whatever you want.”
“If you don’t want me around, Cassidy, that’s all you have to say.”