Fire In His Eyes (Secrets & Seduction #1)(62)

I really pushed myself that last quarter mile. I could barely make out the LED display showing your place and time. It was still in double digits and I was thrilled. The top one hundred would be fantastic. I flew past eight people in those last two hundred yards, and came in 46th place. My time was twenty minutes and nine seconds. That was fantastic. I had run more than seven miles an hour.

It took me a while to slow once I crossed that finish line and by the time I was at a slow jog that is when I saw him. Victor! I halted completely and just stared. He was holding a sign that said, “I choose you!” and he held a single red rose in his other hand. I started walking again, and then I was running. I flew into his arms.

As my body hit his, he wrapped his arms around me, and I wrapped my legs around him both of us clutching each other as if our lives depended on it.

“Monica, Mi Cara, my heart, I love you like no one else. I have for a very long time and I want you to know that,” he said in my ear.

“You, don’t have to say any . . .” I began to say. I was crying.

“No, I do. You deserve to hear it and so much more.” His eyes lowered to my lips and he kissed me. It was perfect. As more racers were coming in and their family to congratulate them, Victor carried me off side. He set me down and put both hands on my face holding me so that I could see into those ice blue eyes, and he gazed into mine. I could see the love there. He spoke. “Monica, the morning after we made love that very first time, I knew you were not like anyone else I had ever met before. I knew you were dangerous.”

“Me, dangerous . . .” I laughed. I wasn’t expecting him to say that.

“Shh, please let me get this out,” he interrupted. “I have a lot I have to say, and I want to do it right.”

I looked at him and nodded.

He continued. “Yes, dangerous, Monica. I was in a bad place then, but those things I said to you, the way I spoke to you, treated you, it was meant to scare you away. I had a plan to get my wife back, and put my family back together, but I knew even then that with you in my life, I would soon not want it. I knew you would be perfect. It scared the hell out of me. The fact that I could know that about someone I had just met. That I could feel like this about someone I had just met. For weeks, I kept you at arm’s length, not letting you in, not letting you see the real me. But, you didn’t run away. When we went to Ft. Lauderdale, I knew you loved me then. What you did for me, what we did, and you stayed and you were perfect. That weekend was the best weekend of my life. And, it wasn’t about the sex, though that was amazing. It was about you, and how I felt when I was with you, at the beach, at the restaurant, you chasing me on the beach. I knew I loved you that day on that bench eating that ice cream. That is the exact moment that I knew I was so very much in love with you.” There were tears is his eyes.

He took a breath and kissed me softly on the lips showing me just how much he loved me, and continued when he pulled away. “I didn’t think about Julianna at all that weekend. I was lost in you.” His expression was pained. “But when we got back from Ft. Lauderdale, reality set in. I had my daughter, and then my efforts were all for her. I became so fixated on what I thought she needed. Then you went away, and how I missed you. It was all so confusing. I didn’t tell you this, but each night I yearned for you.” He winced and turned his face away for a moment and then back, “I kept playing it cool, kept you at arm’s length. I was a fool.” He kissed the tip of my nose, each of my eyes as I stared at him in wonder and awe.

He wasn’t done. He had a lot more to say, and I wanted him to let it all out. I wanted to give him the chance to finally unburden his soul so we could begin again. “When we broke up that first time, it was painful, it hurt so damn much. When I thought of you, it was like I couldn’t breathe. I threw myself into over drive at the gym trying to forget. I went out with the guys once, and they tried to get me to flirt with other girls. I punched Michael in the face and stormed out.” He shook his head at that showing how disappointed he was himself and how he had treated a friend. “He forgave me, of course, he was only trying to help me get over you, but I didn’t want to get over you, ever.” He paused to kiss me again on the lips, on the cheek, to caress my cheek with his own, ensuring I was still there, still listening, wanting to show me how much he loved me while he explained.

He smiled with that crooked grin that revealed one dimple and continued. “When I saw you at Universal Studios, it was a sign to me. You were so beautiful, and I saw how frail you looked. It scared me to death. I had to reach out, but I knew I had hurt you. I wanted to give you hope, both of us. I still had this idea that we could be together until Julianna came around. That you would accept more time with me for maybe forever. It was unfair, but we were both in so much pain. But it was really because I couldn’t resist you, and didn’t know how I could give you up. I even thought that if Julianna did take me back, there might be some way we could still see each other now and then. But I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I was a mess.” I stroked his back when he paused to wipe the tears from his face. I reached up on my tip toes to press a quick kiss to his lips. He accepted it, returned it, and then pulled back to look into my eyes again.

He took another deep breath and went on. “We began to communicate on the answering machine, and then talk, and it was like I could breathe again.” He smiled and then his look grew grim. “Then there was Joe’s retirement party. I saw you with my daughter and wished that we had a child together. But, I didn’t want to give you false hope just yet. I had counseling for one more month. I was determined to see it through, so that if my daughter ever blamed me for the divorce, I could honestly say I gave it all my effort to try to regain her mother’s love, for her, for Stacey. Not for Julianna, but for her. That was my finish line. It was my last goal.”