Fire In His Eyes (Secrets & Seduction #1)(59)

“You did!” she was surprised.

“Yes, she was beautiful, Ana. She was sweet and I think we could have been friends,” I replied and released a sigh.

There was awe in her expression and then concern. “Could have?” she asked trying to read me.

I shook my head in resignation. “The night did not end well. We had a fight.” I left it at that. I didn’t want to tell her about the incident with Rick and the almost fight, or the ultimatum I had given Victor. I would tell her another time. I was still too drained from the night of crying.

“A fight?” she inquired.

“Yes, Ana. And I will tell you about it. Just not right now. And, it is not because you’re here, Teddy,” I said looking at him. “It’s just that it would hurt too much to relive it all right now.”

“I understand,” Teddy said and patted my hand sympathetically, “But if you want me to go outside while you and Ana talk, I can.”

That was sweet of him to offer, but the truth was I was too raw to talk about it today. “No, Teddy. That’s all right. I will talk to Ana soon, just not now.”

Ana piped in, “Well, when you are ready. I am here.”

“I know, Ana. You always are and always have been.” I squeezed her hand reassuringly to let her know I would be okay for now.

They both stayed for a bit longer and we chatted about an upcoming trip they were planning to take to Las Vegas. It was nice, and I felt better for it. They were good together. I hadn’t seen my sister this happy in a long, long time.

And although I was happy for her, it made me think about all I had lost with Victor, and all we could have if he could just see it.



In the next two weeks, I threw myself into my workouts with a vengeance and the running, too. I had my first ever marathon, and 5K in a few days after Thanksgiving, so it was a good distraction. The nights were harder. Although I managed to cope through the days, and keep myself busy with work, grading papers, writing lessons, and eating properly, the nights were hard. After dinner and some light cleaning, I found myself sitting by the telephone waiting for a call I hoped would come, but as day after day passed, my doubts and fears grew by leaps and bounds.

I would watch reruns of Friends, and programs on the History Channel imagining that Victor was doing the same thing, imagining him here beside me. So many times, I almost caved and reached for the phone to tell him to forget everything I said and that I would wait the month. To tell him, I would wait for him, forever. I felt so pathetic in those moments. But then the other part of me would tell myself, that I needed to know. I needed to be sure he had chosen me, and had not settled for second best in his eyes.

I dreamed of him, too. Every night. He haunted my dreams. Sometimes in those dreams he came to me with open arms telling me all those words I wanted so desperately to hear, and other times those dreams were nightmares, nightmares in which he never called at all.



The day before my big race, my sister came by to wish me well, she had been planning to come cheer me on, but Teddy’s mom had taken ill and was in the hospital and she needed to be there for him. I would run this race alone with no one to cheer me on. My mom was out of town this weekend. After spending Thanksgiving with her and Tom yesterday, they had travelled to see his kids in Connecticut. But Ana could tell by my face that I was really upset. I had not confided in her yet about what had happened at Joe’s retirement part, and she had been respecting my wishes to not have to relive it. But she was worried, I could see it her face. She could tell that I had not been sleeping and she had so wanted to support me in this race. So, I broke down and I finally told her about that last night with Victor and all my restless nights since.

“Oh, sweetie,” she cried with me. “He’ll call. He has to.”

“I don’t think he will,” I cried into her shoulder. “It’s been nearly two weeks and I gave him that ultimatum. I wish I could take it all back.”

“If he doesn’t call, darling,” she said as she stroked my hair and tried to soothe me, “Call him. If you love him and he loves you, and I do think he does, he really does, you can forgive him. Love is precious, and you shouldn’t deny him or yourself from experiencing it.”

“But that means he loves her more,” I continued sobbing.

“No it doesn’t, you silly girl. It just means he is a man, a man with a lot of pride that has been fixated on this plan of his to keep the perfect family. So what if he doesn’t realize it now. He will come to realize it and know that you are his one true love,” her words soothed me, and gave me some hope.

“Do you really think so? I asked.

“Yes, I really do,” she paused. “Give him these two more weeks, baby girl, if that makes you feel better. But then you call him. I say to hell with that ultimatum. Don’t be foolish like him, and don’t let pride, yours or his, keep getting in the way of a lifetime of happiness.”



Pride. It was as simple as that. I loved my sister. As I contemplated those words later on that night, a warm glimmer of hope sparked to trembling life within my heart. I was risking too much, risking it all by waiting for him to make the choice to choose me. I needed to go after what I wanted, and I wanted him. I wanted him in my life more than I had ever wanted anything, or ever would. I chose him. I would call him and tell him he could have those four weeks, two now, but I would wait. And, if at the end of those two weeks he didn’t want me anymore, well, then I would worry about that later.