Fire In His Eyes (Secrets & Seduction #1)(60)

It was after one o’clock when those thoughts came to me. The clarity of it all seemed so simple. I chose him, and I had to let him know. I got out of my bed, my heart pounding. I began to pace thinking about what I would say. There was hope for us. It was a Friday, and I was sure he would be up, but not sure he would answer his phone or be in a place he could hear it. I couldn’t wait. I had to do this now. I grabbed my phone off the charger and called Victor on his cell.

And it rang, and rang, and rang. Then it went to voicemail. I didn’t want to leave a voice mail message, so I waited five minutes, and called again. Again, it rang and then went straight to voice mail. What the hell! Maybe he hadn’t charged it, or it was off, or he couldn’t hear it. A small doubt sprang. Maybe he saw it was me and didn’t want to talk. No, he would answer if he saw it was me. I was sure, almost. Fear began to trickle through my veins. I had my decision and I wasn’t going to back out now. In a panic and not thinking about the time, I tried the house phone just to be sure, maybe Kat knew something.

She answered the phone on the third ring, and I was relieved to hear her voice. I hoped I hadn’t woken her, but I was a woman on a mission.

“Hi Kat, it’s me, Monica, is Victor there?” I asked in a rush to find out what was going on.

“Yeah, he is here, but . . .” her voice trailed out in confusion.

“But what?” I cut her off.

“He’s sl-sleeping,” she informed me. “What’s the matter, you sound like you are panicking over something. Are you okay?” she asked, her worry clearly apparent.

I rushed right in. “It’s just that I tried his cell phone twice, and when he didn’t pick up, I started to wonder why, then I got scared, but now I feel stupid because his cell battery probably just died or something, and he forgot to charge it,” I rambled on.

“No, I heard it ring, just a few minutes ago and about five minutes before that which must have been you,” she stated and then continued, “But before you panic again or jump to any conclusions, let me explain.”

“Please do,” I inserted. I had begun to make assumptions when she told me he was there but hadn’t answered.

“Well first of all I am glad you called because lover boy has been having a hell of a time these past two weeks. He’s getting into fights, breaking things when he gets mad, and every other day it seems he is drinking himself into a stupor. Because of you, I might add. He loves you, Mon. He’s told you that. He has even figured out that he doesn’t really love his wife anymore, it’s just this idealized vision he has that he can’t let go of, you know.” I heard her sigh, and then she continued. “So anyway, after work today he and the guys went for a drink, and they dragged him home at ten o’clock already wasted blathering on about how he was going to lose the best thing to ever happen to him. He has been passed out in his room for the past three hours sleeping it off. He probably just didn’t hear the phone.”

“Oh, Thank God,” I muttered as my fear dissipated, but was replaced by the sad fact that I had hurt him so much. That my ultimatum and threats, said in the heat of an argument, had hurt the man I loved so deeply that he had been just as tortured as I these past two weeks, if not more.

“So, what’s up, Monica? What has you calling ‘sleepy head’ in a panic at one o’clock in the morning? I’d offer to wake him up for you if I thought I could,” she told me.

“No, Kat. Let him sleep. But when he wakes up tell him this, okay? I want you to tell him that I love him and I will wait for him, forever if I have to. Tell him I choose him!” I cried as I began to sniffle into the phone. “I gave him an ultimatum, Kat. And I regret it so much. It was the dumbest thing I could have ever done.”

“Not dumb, Monica, but not smart either. But the rest, well, that is fantastic. I’ll be happy to pass along your message in the morning when he wakes up, unless you want to do it?” she asked.

I had the race tomorrow and I didn’t want to make him wait. I wanted him to know the moment he woke up. I didn’t want to prolong his self-inflicted torture and the agony I had caused a moment more. “Umm, actually I am doing a marathon tomorrow in St. Pete,” I informed her, “And I need to go finish the registration and stuff early, so you can tell him and as soon as he is awake. I don’t want him to suffer anymore because of me. I love him so much. I’ll never hurt him again. I swear Kat. I won’t. Tell him that as soon as I get back in my car after the race, I’ll call him,” I begged of her.

“Okay, I will tell him. I’ll tell him everything. Monica, this is great. You guys are perfect for each other. I will be thrilled and honored to tell him. I am so glad you called. Everything is going to work out,” Kat said excitedly. “You will be so happy together, Monica. I am so thrilled one of you came to your senses.” She was laughing, and choked up at the same time. I was too. I had finally come to my senses.

“Me, too, Kat. Tell him I love him, and give him a kiss for me,” I cried. “I love that man so much my heart feels like it is going to explode.” I had hope again.

“I’ll tell him, Monica. Don’t you worry. I’ll tell him everything you said. Now go to bed, and get some rest for that big race of yours, so that you can be sleeping in that man’s arms tomorrow night,” she laughed.

“Yes, Sergeant,” I teased. “Good night, Kat. And thank you again.” Maybe, I would be sleeping in his arms. I thought I might. I had hope.