Find Me Alastar(76)

The applause gets louder and I feel myself turning red as I smile unable to stop my eyes from tearing up.

He holds his gold statue up in the air. “Thank you, Emmaline. You are the substance and it is your light that has completely eclipsed the shadow.”





Chapter 15





I clap and drop my head to hide my emotion. The crowd continue to applaud Alastar as he makes his way back to the table. I have no idea what he really means by what he said, but damn, it sounded so good. I’m the light that has blocked the shadow.

A fleeting sinking feeling fills me. What is his shadow?

The reminder that he wants to spend his last week with me swirls through my head.

Is he dying?

Does he have depression?

Is he suffering from a mental illness?

How can I help him?

He falls into the seat next to me and I smile over at him. He knows I’m getting emotional, choosing to kiss me gently. Taking my hand in his, he holds it on his thigh and rubs his thumb over the back of it tenderly, as if trying to calm my nerves.

The next award is read out, but my mind is elsewhere as I stare blankly at the stage.

What did his speech just reveal? What was all that code for? He does feel what is between us. I’m not in this alone, I know I’m not.

He’s going away for a reason. He’s pushing me away for a reason.

But what is it?

I squeeze his hand and he squeezes it back reassuringly and my eyes flick over to him as he watches me intently.

I lean over and smile. “Stop looking at me like that or we are sneaking off home,” I whisper.

He kisses my cheek. “No, we are not,” he whispers into my ear, so close that I feel his breath on my skin, and goosebumps tingle.

I pull back and look at him flatly. I think I have had enough of this night now. I don’t want to share him anymore. I want him all to myself. I sit back in my chair, dejected, and continue to watch the seemingly never-ending awards.



* * *



Finally, the boring part of the night is over and the music has started. There’s a band on stage playing cover songs. They are really talented. I am on my way too many-ieth glass of champagne and am feeling very loveable indeed.

Alastar being the main victim of my love.

“Do you want to dance?” Alastar smiles mischievously as he kisses the back of my hand.

I smirk as my eyes hold his. “Yes, I do.” We stand and make our way to the dance floor and I put both of my arms around his neck. His hands fall to my waist. We sway softly to the music and he bends and kisses me gently.

I stare up at him, smiling goofily.

His happiness mirrors mine. “What?”

“What substance am I?”

He laughs out loud and pulls me closer. “A wonder drug, so it seems.”

My face falls and his eyes hold mine.

“Are you sick, Twinkle?”

He hesitates and shakes his head. “No, I’m not sick.”

I stare into his eyes as I try to decipher the other language he speaks.

“Are you leaving me for a reason?”

He frowns, pained as he kisses me gently in an attempt to try and soften the blow.

“Yes,” he whispers.

I get a lump in my throat. “What is it?” I push out.

He pulls me close and holds my head to his chest. “Hush, my love. Don’t you worry about it. Everything is going as it should.”

My eyes tear up as my head stays on his shoulder. How can it be fine when he is leaving me for a reason that he won’t tell me?

The song changes to a cover of Like I’m Going to Lose You from Meghan Trainer

I found myself dreaming in silver and gold, Like a scene from a movie that every broken heart knows.



I smile. “I love this song.”

His lips smile against my forehead.

“Very fitting,” I whisper.

I'm gonna love you… like I'm gonna lose you.



I need to snap out of this whiney mood. I have him for three days. Make the most of it, stupid. I smile up at him and kiss his lips gently as his arms pull me closer to his body.

“This can be our song, Twinkle.” I smile up at him.

He smirks. “I think Christina Perri’s hit song is more relevant to us.”

I frown. “What is that song?”

He takes my hand and spins me around, causing me to nearly fall over. I laugh out loud. “You....” He begins as he spins me again and I nearly fall off my feet. “Need to be quiet or else I will take you home and punish you for over talking.”

I laugh as I am twirled around the dance floor. “Promises, promises."





Alastar


We hit the front door, my body trapping hers under mine. My hands are in her hair, my pelvis grinding into hers. Our lips are locked and our tongues are doing their seductive dance as they devour each other, searching for a deeper connection.

Shit, we are in drunk and horny heaven.

The cab ride home was hard. The whole night has been hard… like my cock. How do you keep your hands off an angel who tempts you to be the devil? Offering untold pleasure to my mere male body. I want to commit every single sin with her and I can’t think about tomorrow with this amount of testosterone in my blood. I know I’m bordering on dangerous territory, and if she knocked me back now I don’t honestly think I could stop myself. It has taken every ounce of my strength not to take her hard up against every surface while at the ball.