Find Me Alastar(72)

I smile broadly. “Why don’t you paint more if you get so much money for your paintings?”

He shrugs. “I have to be inspired.” His face lights up as an idea comes to light. “Can I paint you?” he asks.

I laugh. “Why on earth would you want to paint me?”

He smiles as if I have just given him a new challenge. “I could paint you in our bed.”

“It’s your bed, not our bed.”

An unfamiliar emotion crosses his face.

“What is that look?” I smile softly as I run my fingers through his hair and push it away from his face before it falls onto his forehead.

He shrugs. “I wish things were different.”

My eyes hold his as regret fills me.

So do I.

He fiddles with the blanket, deep in thought as his eyes drop to his fingers.

Here is the time where I should lay it all out on the table. Why couldn’t he give us a chance? Where is he going to on this trip and what’s stopping us having a future… any kind of future?

I’m not going to, though.

If things ever did develop between us, it will be coming from his side, not mine. He made it perfectly clear that day back in the café when he said he didn’t want anything serious, and even though I now know I could easily fall for him, I’m not letting myself.

I have more self-respect than to let myself fall in love with an emotionally unavailable man.

I sit up suddenly. I need to break from thinking and to get ready for work.

“Can you drive me in half an hour?” I ask casually as I start to retrieve my things for my shower.

He falls back into bed and watches me, his mind seemingly miles away. “Sure.”





Alastar


I wait on the corner for Em to finish work, checking my watch for the tenth time. She’s late… as usual.

I don’t do late, but with her I have no choice. She’s chaotic, spontaneous, consistently late, and will be my damn undoing. I look up to see her bouncing happily through the crowd, and an intrinsic smile crosses my face.

She is so beautiful.

She wraps her arms around me and kisses me with her sweet lips. “Hello, my Twinkle,” she breathes.

I smile as I envelope her in my arms and inhale her scent.

I’ve missed her today.

I would give anything to be able tell her just how much.

“Hello, my Emmaline.”

She links her arm through mine and we start to walk down the street. “Where is your car?” she asks.

“I thought we might go shopping and then get dinner out.”

“Oh,” she replies sounding surprised.

I smirk down at her and raise my eyebrow in question. “You don’t want to eat out?”

She shrugs. “Yes, I suppose.” “Just suppose?”

“Meh, I’ll be honest. No restaurant cooks as good as you do. I am happiest in your kitchen.” She goes up on her toes to kiss me as we walk and pulls my face down to hers. I happily oblige. What must we look like to the outside world? Everywhere we go, we carry on like love struck teenagers, kissing and cuddling, unable to keep our hands off each other while smiling like idiots.

I can’t help it.

She makes me feel like a pubescent fifteen-year-old.

“Did you have a nice day?” she asks.

“It was okay.”

“Just okay?”

“Well, I wasn’t with you, so yes. Just okay.”

Her beaming smile is contagious and my own face lights up as we walk up the street for a while longer. “Shall we go in here?” I ask as I gesture to the boutique in front of us.

She stops. “You want to buy yourself a dress?” She smirks as she puts her hands on her hips.

I laugh out loud and raise a brow. “I was thinking I would buy some lingerie.” I take her in my arms and pull her hips into my semi-hard cock that’s hidden beneath my large jacket. “Would you still like me if I dress up in women’s clothing?” I tease.

She kisses me as she laughs freely. “I would love you however you chose to dress.”

My heart freefalls and her face drops at the realization of what she has just said. “I mean...” She tries to correct herself.

“I know what you meant,” I assure her.

We stand still for a moment, our eyes fixed on each other.

“I didn’t mean…” she whispers as she picks up my hand.

“I know,” I reply quickly as I squeeze her hand in mine. I don’t want her to tell me she doesn’t love me.

Some things are best left unsaid.

I turn to the designer shop in front of us. “I wanted to buy you a dress.”

“Why?”

“We have that dinner on Friday night, remember?” I smile, knowing this could go one of two ways.

She frowns. “Can’t I wear a dress I already have?”

“It’s black tie. Do you have a black tie dress?”

She grimaces. “I hate that shit.” She raises her eyebrows. “You know I don’t have a black tie dress, Alastar. You packed my clothes for me, remember?”

I smile knowing she only calls me Alastar when she is annoyed.

“Yes, I do know that.” I smile. “So let’s buy you a new one.”