Defiance (The Protectors #9)(31)

Although I knew it was the latter and not the former.

I went to my own room and quickly showered and predictably jerked off to images of Nathan coming apart in my arms. I cursed the fact that I had so little control that I’d even had to do it in the first place, but it was better than being tempted to bend him over my desk.

Who the fuck was I kidding? I was going to be imagining that anyway.

My watch told me Nathan had beat me and was already in my office, so I took my time getting some coffee and willed my still-raging dick to settle down. The little shit would have to just get used to my hand because Nathan’s gorgeous ass was definitely off limits. It was one thing to jerk the guy off in the heat of the moment, but to fuck him…no way. Hell, he was a fucking virgin.

Even the idea of me being the first man to touch Nathan like that, to bury myself inside of his luscious body, had my cock twitching in excitement. Fuck, at this rate, I’d be spending most of my waking hours in the gym or the damn shower.

I was pleased to see Nathan had grabbed himself a coffee. I went around my desk and tried to ignore the sight of him with damp hair and those damnably tight jeans. I absently wondered if he’d had to clean the proof of his release the night before off the jeans in the sink or something. I took a sip of coffee and then set the mug down on the desk as I began mentally preparing myself for yet another battle with the man.





Chapter 11





Nathan





Even being this close to him was bringing back all the feelings from the night before that I’d been trying to convince myself hadn’t been real. From the moment I’d gotten to my room, ripped off my clothes and climbed into my shower, I’d been letting myself fall back on my father’s teachings.

That I’d somehow been lured by the devil.

But I knew it wasn’t true. Yeah, Vincent was a lot of things, but he hadn’t been responsible for what had happened the night before. I’d had the chance to walk away…several chances. I’d just wanted him more. If anyone was the devil in this scenario, it was me.

Because I was the one standing in front of crowds and going on TV saying one thing and believing another. I’d been telling people for months now that I didn’t see my brother and people like him as anything but equal, but I’d refused to acknowledge that I was one of those very people. Somewhere along the way, I’d decided it was better to be someone with some sexual hang-ups and a poor track record with women than face the truth.

I didn’t want to dwell on why that was.

So I focused on the man in front of me. I didn’t even bother telling him to explain himself. He knew what we were here for and I was tired of being on unequal footing with him. Which meant I had to force myself to be patient as Vincent messed around with his computer. When he finally did look at me, the stern expression had me struggling not to squirm in my seat. Because I knew what that look meant. I wasn’t going to like what he had to say, and worse, he expected me not to argue with him about it.

Well, he was in for a big-ass surprise because I was tired of all of it – the orders, the secrecy, him always being a step ahead. I was on the cusp of losing everything, and I’d be damned if I let him take anything else from me.

“After Beck’s uncle asked me to help you, I began tracking your movements. I also hacked your accounts.”

I stiffened, but managed to stay calm as I said, “Which ones?”

“All of them.”

The way he said it, like it was an everyday thing, had me grinding my teeth together. “Why?”

“Because I needed to know what I was up against. Subjects often withhold information because they think it isn’t of value or they’re too embarrassed to share it. Or they have something to hide…”

“What gives you the right-” I began, but not surprisingly, he cut me off.

“Your life,” he said. “Your life gives me the right, Nathan. Because it means something to someone else, even if you take it for granted.”

“That’s bullshit,” I snapped.

I saw only the slightest narrowing of his eyes, but he didn’t respond to my outburst.

“So you read my emails…”

He nodded.

I shook my head in disbelief. “And all that crap about asking me about them yesterday?” I asked. “Why bother if you knew what they already said?”

“I needed to see if you were going to tell me the truth about them.”

I was surprised by the hurt that lanced through me. I knew it was ridiculous to be upset by something as insignificant as him trusting me, but I was. Maybe if last night hadn’t happened…

I shook myself free of the errant thought. Last night had been about sex and nothing more. I needed to remember that.

“So, you took it upon yourself to email my office? Preston? As me?”

“I’ve seen enough of your email habits to see you’re in regular communication with your assistant and Preston. Which means they would have noticed if you hadn’t checked in. I emailed them that you were sick yesterday while you were sleeping. I told them you’d be in touch via email, but you wouldn’t be answering your phone. Your assistant hopes you feel better soon, by the way.”

His nonchalant attitude ate at my insides, and I found that I no longer cared what he had to say to me. All I felt was numb. I’d let this man do things to me that I’d spent a lifetime avoiding. I’d told him things…