Defiance (The Protectors #9)(27)

“What does that mean?” Nathan asked, and I wasn’t surprised when he followed me to the sink where I began rinsing the plate.

“Nothing,” I bit out.

Nathan’s voice quieted as he said, “You don’t know a thing about me.”

I laughed at that as I quickly put the plate and silverware into the dishwasher and then wiped my hands on a dishtowel. “You’re such a fucking cliché, Nathan. And the fact that you’re working so hard to prove to yourself you’re doing all this just for Brody and other people like him makes the whole thing that much more pathetic.”

“What thing?”

“Nothing, never mind,” I said as I turned away from him, since I had no desire to get into this with him.

Not surprisingly, Nathan forgot all my previous warnings about not touching me and grabbed my arm. I spun him until his back hit the fridge.

“I told you-”

“Tell me what you’re talking about!” he interrupted. His voice had jumped several octaves and I actually felt sorry for him. God, how far in the fucking closet was he really?

“This,” I said as I pressed my lower body against his and felt his hardness graze mine.

Nathan gasped and then struggled to get away from me. I used my heavier weight to keep him pressed up against the refrigerator. Our bodies were flush and he was breathing hard.

So was I, for that matter. What had started off as a lesson in reality was quickly turning into something else.

“You’re wrong,” he whispered. “I’m not…I’m not…”

“Can’t even say it,” I murmured as I shook my head. The fact that he was blatantly lying to me and himself had me moving his arms above his head so I could pin his wrists to the refrigerator with just one hand. I slid my free hand down his body and felt a violent shudder wrack his entire body, even as he tried to seek out more of my touch.

“So this,” – I slid my hand over his groin and squeezed his erection – “doesn’t mean anything to you?” I asked. My lips were just inches from his.

He didn’t say anything, and I felt a moment of guilt when his eyes slid shut, and not from pleasure. I removed my hand and lifted it so I could clasp the side of his face. “Open your eyes,” I commanded.

He did as I said. His amber eyes were heavy with confusion, lust, and shame. “Lie to me, lie to your brother, lie to the whole goddamn world, but stop lying to your fucking self, Nathan.”

I released him and stepped back, putting a good foot between us.

“You should take your own advice,” he said just as I began to turn away. He straightened and whispered, “Was all this really about teaching me a lesson? Or was it you wanting to make sure I knew you were in control…that you have all the power here?”

He was the one to close the distance between us this time and I held my breath as he got in my space, but didn’t touch me. “Or maybe you’re trying to convince yourself you’re still in control,” he murmured. His eyes fell briefly to my lips before lifting again. “Maybe it isn’t about me at all,” he ventured.

His words hit just a little too close to home. I stepped forward, forcing him backwards until his back once again hit the fridge.

“It’s most certainly about you,” I said coolly. “And that control you’re so worried about is the only thing keeping me from bending you over that table” – I pointed to the kitchen table – “and fucking you so long and so hard that once I’m finished, you’ll be shouting to anyone and everyone who will listen that you’re all about dick now.”

I could see it on the tip of his tongue…his pride getting ready to force my hand. “Don’t,” I whispered right before he opened his mouth. “I’m too close,” I said huskily. “Do you really want your first time with a guy to be on a fucking table, Nate?”

I knew I was making an assumption about him never having been with a guy before, but everything was telling me he wasn’t the kind of closet case who’d come out long enough to test the waters at any point in his life.

It took an inordinate amount of time for him to shake his head. We were so close I could feel his chest rising and falling against mine. At some point, his hands had come up to settle on my waist while I’d plastered mine on the fridge along either side of his head. I needed to step back. I needed to tell him to go to bed. I needed to escape to the safety of my room so I could call up an image of David and ease the painful throb in my cock with my own hand. But I didn’t move.

“Go,” I managed to get out.

But he didn’t move. His eyes held mine and then I saw it. The slightest shake of his head.

“Jesus,” I whispered and then I was closing my mouth over his.





Chapter 9





Nathan





Even though I’d known it was coming, had asked for it even, I couldn’t have begun to fathom my reaction to it. I’d kissed a few women in my time, but I’d passed off my lack of interest in the act as just not being that guy.

But even if Vincent hadn’t forced me to confront the lie head-on a few minutes earlier, the feel of his mouth slanting over mine certainly would have done it.

I most definitely was that guy.