Changing Course (Wrecked and Ruined #1)(87)

"I'm not some crazy woman who's in a rush to get married and settle down. I'm definitely not trying to force you into some big serious relationship if you aren't ready. Brett, it kills me that you are the only one who doesn't recognize how you feel. I can see it in your eyes, I'm not stupid. I know you love me. I can feel it when you make love to me. Yep, I said it. It's making love when we do it, not f*cking!"

She pauses to take a deep breath, and just as she did earlier, I jump in before she can say anything else.

"Did you just say f*ck?" I ask at what I will later learn to be, 'completely the wrong time.'

"Oh my God, did you not hear anything else I said?"

"I'm sorry, I've just never heard you say f*ck before...and you just said it twice," I reply laughing, which only serves to piss her off more.

"Yep, that's it! I'm done here. You can sit there laughing it up that you made good girl Jesse Addison say f*ck. Congratulations, jackass. You will have plenty of alone time to bask in your triumphant glory, because I quit!" Finally her eyes land on her car keys across the room and I know it's time.

"I want a future with you," I rush out before she can take off on me yet again.

"No Brett, you want a future with some woman who will fit into Sarah's shoes. But guess what, I don't want to play Jeopardy with you every night, or settle on the coast of Georgia. I want to live in the mountains. And I want two kids, not three. And I like plain names like John and Beth. I don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting on a man to finally admit that he's in love with me. Jesus, why am I even still standing here arguing with you? If you won't leave, I will. You know what-”

"Jess, shut up!" I have no choice but to shout. She has worked herself up into such fit that she can't stop talking. We both stand there staring at each other for a second, her chest heaving trying to catch her breath.

"I don't want to play Jeopardy with you either. Honestly, you really suck." I give her my best smile and wink to let her know I'm kidding, but she just continues to glare at me. "However, I do want to eventually kick your ass at the bowling alley." At that she gives me an eye roll.

Even though nothing has been solved, with that small gesture, I know for once in my life everything really is going to be okay.

"Jesse, you're my perfection. I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way about her. You’re right, at one point she was my everything, but then I met you. We could play the ‘what if she hadn't been in the accident’ game all night, but it's not going to get us anywhere.

"The truth is, for you Jesse James Addison, I would move to Egypt. So if the mountains are what you want, I'll break my lease tomorrow. You want two kids? I'm fine with that too. John Sharp has a nice ring to it. But you have to promise me if we have two girls we can try for a boy. And if we end up with three girls you'll let me adopt a bulldog. I'm not sure I can handle that much estrogen in one house without some back-up." She finally gives me a small grin that fuels my fire. "Now, gorgeous. If you can just stop freaking out on me for just a minute, I promise this is about to get better." I suck in a deep breath and prepare myself to say the three words I never thought I would say again.

"I love you. I have loved you for months, and to repeat your very crass words," I jokingly raise my eyebrows in shock, "it isn't just f*cking. I have made love to you every single time I have touched your body since the first day we met. Except that one time in the bathroom at Nell's. Just so you know, I won't classify it as anything but f*cking if a man has urinated within a three feet radius of where we are doing it," I pause while she rewards me with a soft giggle and a slight smile that barely curves her lips.

I close my eyes for a second, taking in a deep breath and listening to the magical sound that is Jesse laughing. Any hesitance I had about my feelings before has all vanished. Yes, I love this woman. I'm not just saying it out of some misplaced obligation or a fear of losing her. I say it because it's a truth that I have no doubt was coded into my DNA the day I was created. It has taken me too long to realize it. I've put her through hell on the journey but I know I will spend a lifetime making that up to her.

With absolute need to feel her in my arms, I rush across the room crushing her to my chest. "Gorgeous, I know you're still pissed at me. I get that. I've been an ass. But Jesse, I love you. You won't understand this, but I need to be inside you. You are just going to have to trust me that I'm going to make this work with us, no matter what. I'll try to explain in a few minutes, but some serious stuff just happened and I have never needed to feel you more than I do right now. I love you, gorgeous. Can you do that for me? Just let me make love to you and I swear I'll show you everything."

Her eyes slide from surprise to aroused as she gives the tiniest of nods.

That is all it takes for me to pick her up pushing her against the wall, landing my mouth roughly on her unprepared lips. I thrust my tongue forward as she tries, and fails, to match my frantic rhythm. I can't slow down. I need to claim her. I continue my assault in her mouth, pausing only briefly to pull her shirt over her head. Finding her nipples already peaked, I rub my thumbs over them, watching as they harden. She takes a deep gasping breath leaning forward latching on to my neck. This time I'm the one shuddering.