Broken Course (Wrecked and Ruined #3)(53)

"Yeah. Awesome," he growls.

"Hey. You want me to go back to pretending I don’t know or you want to bring Chris out to dinner when I iron this shit out with Sarah?" I ask and his head snaps to mine. "You might want to be more discreet on the work cell." I smirk uncomfortably and his eyes grow wide. "Oh, don’t give me that look. I learned a long time ago not to look at the pictures you guys exchange."

He closes his eyes, but a tiny smile tilts his lips. He doesn’t utter a word as he walks back into the guard station.

I head back up to my apartment and snatch my phone off the nightstand. When I turn it on for the first time in a week, messages from Sarah, Erica, and some clients flood my screen. I clear them all and type out a text.

Me: You don’t have to believe me, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. I love you. Take all the time you need. I’m ready to explain whenever you’re ready to listen.





Two days later…


"UM, WHY the hell are you not at work?" Emma questions when she walks into my apartment.

"I took the day off," I respond mindlessly while flipping through the TV channels.

"She got fired," Casey pipes up from beside me.

"You what?" Emma shouts.

"She called in sick on Monday and Tuesday, then no-showed on Wednesday. I stopped by today to see if she wanted to go to lunch only to be informed that Sarah Erickson was no longer employed by the Tribune." Casey smiles and I flip her off.

"You done tattling?" I ask before resuming my hunt for a nonexistent TV show.

"Why didn’t you call me? What’s going on? You not feeling well?" Emma rushes out a barrage of questions that makes me roll my eyes.

"Because I didn’t want to deal with this." I motion between the two of them.

"Leo out of town?" Emma asks, sitting down in the chair next to the couch.

"Don’t know. Don’t care," I drone emotionlessly as my stomach knots and my chest aches.

"Ah. So you’re that kind of sick. Y’all have a fight?"

"No. We broke up," I answer shortly, hoping to close the conversation just as quickly as it opened.

"All right. Spill it," Emma says, propping her feet on the table.

"Yeah, not happening." I stand and head to my small kitchen, which overlooks the living room.

"I thought things were going really well," Casey tells my back.

"They were. Now they’re not."

They have to stop talking about Leo before the anxiety creeping up has a chance to turn into a full-blown panic attack. It won’t be the first one I’ve had since I left Leo. I barely even made it a block from his apartment before I had to pull over and catch my breath.

Losing Leo hurts far more than I thought possible. I miss him so much. This is such a sucky situation because I want nothing more than to turn to Leo right now. I know he’d be able to make me relax. It was also a false sense of comfort, but I’d give anything to feel again.

"All right. I’m headed to Leo’s to get some answers." Emma jumps to her feet and walks to the door.

"No, you are f*cking not." I rush after her. Just as she grabs the handle of the door, I snag her arm. "Don’t. It’s not a big deal. We just broke up. It was nothing scandalous or dramatic," I lie. "It just didn’t work out."

"So if it’s that simple, why are you calling in sick and getting fired from your job? That doesn’t sound like ‘no big deal’ to me." She slings a pair of air quotes my way. "It sounds like you’re hurting."

I try to give her a bitchy smile, but my chin begins to quiver, giving away my impending breakdown. "I, um…" I stutter as my hands start to shake and tears spill from my eyes. I don’t even know why I’m crying except that she’s right. I’m hurting so f*cking bad.

"Okay. Casey, go get sushi. Spare no expense. Stop and grab an overnight bag too. It’s a girls’ night," Emma announces, wrapping me into a hug that does nothing to calm me down. "You want wine or chocolate tonight?" She leans away, catching my eye.

"Chocolate," I answer, trying to fight a losing battle with my emotions.

"I’ll be right back." Casey gives my shoulder a squeeze and darts out the door.

"Go get in some ugly-ass pajamas. And lend me some sexy ones." She walks to the kitchen and calls over her shoulder, "I’m not even kidding. I don’t care if you did just get broken up with. I’m not hanging out with you tonight if you wear one of those tank tops that makes your boobs look better than mine."

I let out a strangled laugh, and just like that, the floodgates open. "I think I love him," I admit out loud for the first time.

"Jesus, Sarah. What happened?"

"He’s a liar, and I hate him, because even though I know that, I can’t stop thinking about him or stop wishing he were here."

"Did you open up about your past?" she guesses, grabbing the ice cream from the freezer and two spoons from the drawer.

"I didn’t have to. He knows everything. His best friend was at Foundations with me. He filled Leo in on all my bullshit. The wreck, my suicide attempts, trying to shoot Brett. Everything."