Broken Course (Wrecked and Ruined #3)(48)

Then again, if I hadn’t murdered Manda, no one would even have the chance to forget her. Oh God, this is my fault.

"No!" I croak as I begin to hyperventilate. I might be the reason Manda is gone, but I am not going to let the world just move forward without her.

How is it so f*cking easy for Brett and Caleb to move on without her?

Why am I the only one stuck?

Why? Fuck! Why?

Time is frozen as I stare at the jagged glass still attached to the inside of the frame. Right about now, it would feel f*cking amazing slicing across my skin. And fitting. So. Fucking. Fitting. The silence it would give my mind is so attractive that it makes my mouth water. But I’m sick of playing games. If I’m going to end this once and for all, I’m taking her down with me. She has no right to try to fill Manda’s shoes. She can try to take Brett from me, but…she has no right to fill that frame!

I rush to Brett’s closet, praying that the combination on his safe is still set to my birthday. My hands are shaky, but I somehow manage to type in all the correct numbers. With a click, the door swings open, revealing three guns. I tuck one into my purse and head to the front door.

I’m over it. I’m over Brett.

I’m over trying to ruin his life.

I’m over my life as well.

Today, this ends for me…and Jesse too.

I suddenly snap back to the present. It’s been years since I’ve seen Brett Sharp. I saw him briefly the day Emma had the baby, but before that, the last time I laid eyes on him was while holding a gun after firing it at him. My stomach twists, and the guilt in my memories is more than enough to send me on a wild spiral downward. Tears fill my eyes and my legs become unsteady. I brace myself on Leo as the shame spreads like wildfire through my veins.

"I’ve got you, ángel. You’re my Sarah. Nobody else," Leo begins to eerily repeat in my ear. His innate ability to say all the right things has never been more unsettling—or appreciated.

I scour for the truth in his words. I search within myself as the broken bits crumble and I mentally try to piece them together.

"What the f*ck?" I hear Brett growl, but Leo’s breath against my ear reels me back in from the approaching breakdown.

I focus on his warm arms, which make me feel safe and cared for—and, if I’m being honest with myself, loved. In some ways, Leo only knows the real Sarah. Then again, maybe it’s Brett who knows me—the terrible woman who put him through absolute hell. If I can’t distinguish the difference, how can I expect anyone else to? My hands begin to tremble and my mind races in circles between my past with Brett and my present with Leo. Seeing Brett isn’t the problem at all. But remembering who I was is searing.

"You’re not that person anymore," Leo whispers.

As much as I want to question how the f*ck he is reading my mind, I allow his words to infiltrate my thoughts. I’m not that person anymore. At least I don’t feel like I am, and Leo’s words confirm it. I take a few deep breaths and finally get my emotions under control.

When I lift my head and swipe the tears from under my eyes, I give Leo a weak smile.

"Let’s get out of here." He brushes my hair off my neck, dragging his finger over my skin like he always does. And just like that, Leo does far more than just center me. He anchors me to his soul in a way that solidifies that I’ll never be the same without him.

"I’m okay," I mumble, pretending to be strong, all the while wishing I could crawl into a hole and sleep for a hundred years. I turn to face the rest of the group with Leo securely at my side. "Hi," I say softly, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

Brett’s eyes bounce between me and Leo, curiosity and confusion covering his face.

"Hey, Sarah," Jesse responds with a sweet smile.

"We’re out of here," Brett bites out, giving Caleb a nod but not bothering to acknowledge anyone else.

"Brett, wait. I can leave. You don’t have to," I call out, feeling horrible that, once again, even inadvertently, I’m ruining something for him.

"Don’t do me any favors, " he replies roughly.

"Hey," Leo interrupts, but I quickly silence him with a shake of the head.

"Right. Okay, then. I’m sorry, Jesse," I tell her around the lump in my throat.

For reasons known only to her, Brett’s new wife has always been kind to me. I don’t know her well, and she has more than enough reason to hate me. But even with all the hell I put her through, she spoke on my behalf at my sentencing and has reached out to me several times over the last few years, all of which has been behind Brett’s back.

"Don’t worry about it. Goodnight," she calls over her shoulder with a smile. Her eyes flash to Leo as Brett marches her out of the restaurant.

"Come on, ángel. I’ll take you home." Leo strokes a hand over my back.

"No. I’m okay. Really," I answer with an Oscar-winning smile. On the inside, I’m freaking the f*ck out. "I’m just going to go fix my makeup. Come on. Let’s eat."

"You sure?" He eyes me warily.

"Of course," I say sweetly, securing my Golden Globe win as well.

"I already have to pee again anyway," Erica announces, bracing her swollen stomach.

"All right. Girls’ trip to the bathroom two point oh," Emma says, linking her arm through mine.