Blinding Trust (Mitchell Family, #7)(62)

Finally, when the tingling subsided, I held her naked body against mine and kissed down her shoulder. “Don’t doubt my love, Savanna.”

“I’m sorry.”

It was hard to get mad at her knowing she was struggling to accept it herself. I think she was more worried about loving her body than she was about me having issues with it. I was a man and maybe it was hard for me to express myself the way she needed me to. I always just assumed that she knew what I was thinking.

That night, Savanna cuddled up close to me and slept better than she had in days. I stayed awake listening to her breathing. It was hard to pretend to be tough when I was petrified of losing her. I couldn’t admit it to anyone.

Well, there was one person that I knew I could talk to, but I wasn’t willing to admit I was wrong. Tyler loved Savanna in a way that I may never understand. He didn’t want to be with her, but he cared for her like she was blood. Instead of being jealous, I should have appreciated that she had someone that loved her enough to drop everything and be by her side. That’s the kind of person she was, though. She made everyone love her and she never even had to try.

As if he could feel me thinking about him, my phone rang and Ty’s picture popped up on the screen.

I considered hitting ignore.

Hello? Do you have ESP?

Yeah, I’m the Wizard of Fucking OZ!

What do you want, Ty?

I know you’re a mess, man.

Yeah, do you blame me?

Nope. I don’t.

It’s hard. I’m tryin’ my best to be strong for her.

Look, I know you’re mad at me. I get it. Maybe I overstepped some cousin boundaries when I stepped in. I just couldn’t let her deal with it by herself.

I get it now.

Colt, none of us want you to go through this alone.

I appreciate that.

She’s going to be okay, you know.

I hope you’re right, Ty.

I’m always right, f*cker. Call if you need anything.



I shook my head when I heard the line go dead. It was weird that he’d called when I needed him to. Ty had a way of always being there when someone needed something. He had a weird way of doing things, but he was a good guy.

Savanna’s father offered to manage things on the ranch, so I could stay home with her. We still hadn’t told the kids, but I think Noah knew something was going on. He’d asked several times if Savanna was still mad at him. It was hard for me to not tell him the truth, when I worried their relationship depended on it.

The boy had already lost one mother. I couldn’t let him fear losing another.

While the kids were at school, Savanna and I would sit down and read up on everything we could about cancer. There were so many questions to be answered.

I think as the days went by, she was finally starting to be able to act more like herself. There was nothing we could do but move forward.

On the morning of her surgery, I saw her standing in front of the mirror without clothes on. She cupped one of her hands over her breast. “How would you feel if I had them both removed?”

I leaned against the counter. “How would you feel?”

She shrugged but kept looking at herself. “It would be weird at first, but I could always get implants. The one website said I wouldn’t even have to wait that long to get them.”

I stood behind her and reached my arms around her waist. “No matter what you decide, you’ll still be beautiful.”

She let go of her breast and turned around to look at me. “I couldn’t do this without you, Colt.”

“You don’t have to. You never have to.”

I kissed her forehead and held my lips there. It was just a small moment that meant the world to her.





Chapter 27


Savanna


I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t petrified. This life changing surgery was almost more than I could handle. I tried not to dwell on the negative. They were removing the cancer from my body, and for that, I had to be content.

Colt was a champ as far as being there or me, but I could tell that it was weighing heavily on him. The more he tried to hide it, the more I knew just how affected he was.

When we got into the hospital, I was taken to a preoperative room with other patients that were also having some kind of surgery. A nurse allowed Colt and my mother come in with me. She gave me a gown, cap and booties to change into. We sat there for a while waiting for my doctor to arrive. In the meantime, the nurse came in and got my IV ready.

Once the doctor arrived, he pulled down my gown and drew markings over the breast to show where his incision would be made. The marker tickled, and even though he was performing surgery, I felt weird about him drawing on my boob.

Before Colt and my mother had to leave, the doctor gave us a couple minutes alone. My mom kissed me and left Colt and me alone in the room.

I was fine until it was time to say goodbye to Colt. He was holding my hand and I refused to let it go. The more he attempted to pull away, the more I fought him. “Darlin’ you’re goin’ to be fine.”

“I’m so scared. I don’t want you to go.”

“The sooner I go, the faster they can get done. I love you with my whole heart, Savanna.” He was getting choked up and I needed to let him go. Our fingers parted and I felt alone.

I was still crying when the anesthesiologist came into the room. It was a middle aged man, who obviously knew what I was in the operating room for. My doctor came in right after him. He was filling out something on his laptop, before turning his attention to me. “How are we doing?”