Blinding Trust (Mitchell Family, #7)(60)

So, now what happens?

They are going to go in and remove it.

Then you’re out of the woods?

No. I have to do one round of radiation.

Will you lose your hair? I bet you’d be hot bald.

I couldn’t believe he was joking around, but it did make me laugh.

Stop joking around.

If I were you, I’d wear a clown wig. That would be f*cking funny.

I’m going to hang up on you, if you don’t stop.

I’m sorry. I went online and did some research. Did you know that if you get a double mastectomy, it decreases your chances of it coming back by a lot.

I can’t believe I am talking to you about this, but my doctor told me that as well.

So, are you going to do it?

I don’t know! I’m scared.

Colt will still love you, Van. If that’s what’s keeping you from doing it, you need to rethink that decision. He wants you healthy. It’s all that matters to him.

I know.

Did you know they can tattoo nipples back on the skin? I’ve been looking at nipple tattoos for the past hour. I tried to show Miranda how cool it was. She smacked the shit out of me and called me an insensitive *.

I burst into laughter. I just couldn’t help it. The day had been so horrible and only Ty could make a joke out of something so serious. I didn’t know if I was just being ridiculous, or I really found him funny. He wasn’t trying to be a jerk. He wanted me to have a reason to smile. Ty wanted me to be able to see something funny out of what I feared. He wanted to know that every single time I thought about that surgery, I thought about the funny things he’d said. I loved him for that.

You are disgusting and definitely an *!

I can’t help myself. You know I can’t do serious. Whoever created sadness is an *!

Yeah, you got that right.

Where’s your hubby? Is he still planning my demise?

No! he’s right here.

He still doesn’t want to talk to me?

Not yet.

What a douche. Is he treating you good? Do I need to come out there and knock him around?

I started laughing again. Ty had never been able to take on Colt and he knew it. He’s being wonderful.

Miranda said to tell you she loves you. She also said that if you don’t call her, she’s going to send the boys to live with you and Colt.

I laughed again. Okay, I promise I will call her. Just give me some time. I need to get my feelings in order first.

I get it. Listen, if you need to smile, you know where to find me. I’m only a phone call away. I’d do anything to take this pain away from you, Van. You’re the best person that I’ve ever known. We all love you so much.

I started to sob. I love you all, too.

Colt took the phone and put it back in my purse. He sat back down and gave me all of his attention. “We don’t have to talk about anything until you’re ready.

“I know.”

“Savanna, do you even know how my people love you? Do you get how many hearts you reached out and touched? You don’t have to go through this alone, darlin’. You will never be alone. I promise.”

I don’t know if it was that exact moment, but I became determined to do whatever I needed to do to get through this. I had children to raise and a family to grow old with. I wasn’t going to let some little mass in my breast end my life. Not when I had a million reasons to live.





Chapter 26


Colt


I think hearing someone has cancer is hard for anyone to handle, but hearing it about your own wife is indescribably hard. This was the woman that I promised to love for the rest of my life. If she was taken from me prematurely, I didn’t know how I would survive. I’d always considered myself a good father, but I couldn’t be the parent that she was. She was the rock of our family and without her we would crumble.

Savanna took the news as I would have expected her to. She shut down, and in between bouts of crying, she just laid around. Nobody could blame her. It was her only coping mechanism. Even I couldn’t imagine everything she was going through.

With her surgery being nearly a week away, she did her best to pretend things were okay when the kids were around. We’d made the decision to keep it from them. Children worried and didn’t understand things like that anyway. She didn’t want to burden them with that.

By the end of the week, she had thrown herself into a wedding for Joe and Barbie. She and the girls had gone out and picked real flowers and they’d turned our dining room into a place fit for a proper wedding. She’d even gone out and bought the girls matching dresses and Barbie a wedding gown. They made invitations and invited their grandparents. It was cute and it kept her mind off of things just enough that she could get by.

She didn’t know it, but I was so proud of her. Even at her worst, she was still one hell of a mother. It just reminded me of what would happen if we ever lost her. I hated thinking about it, but with everything going on, it still popped in my head all too frequently.

The wedding of Joe and Barbie was commenced by Savanna’s father after we’d all returned from church. Both my mom and Savanna’s had brought a spread of food. We spent that Sunday celebrating as if they were real people. To the kids, it was for fun, but I think in some ways Savanna just wanted a reason to have the family around without having to talk to them about her health. While us guys, including Noah, settled in the living room to watch basketball, Savanna and our mother’s stayed in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure what they talked about, but she seemed to be in a good mood after everyone left.