Betray the Bear (Bear Valley Shifters #4)(29)

The plush mattress sank under her as she perched on it and waited.

He reappeared in the doorway. “I don’t like you sleeping in here, away from me. I want you to sleep in my bed, but I’m not sure if you’re ready.”

Gathering her patience, she asked, “Can I be the one to decide when I’m ready, and for what?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Baffled, she patted the bed and the mattress bowed as he sat beside her. “You haven’t done anything to hurt me, Chase.” Except push her away, but she had a feeling he was trying to help, not hurt her.

“You’ve been abused,” he said simply.

“I never went to bed with Nathan unwilling, if that’s what you think. I wasn’t forced.”

His voice dipped to a whisper. “But did you want to? Every time you were with him, did you want to be? Or were you there because he demanded it?”

The question confused her even more about what she had thought her relationship with Nathan had been. “I thought I loved him once, but no. Not every time.”

“Which is why I don’t know if you’re ready for all of me, Anya. I won’t demand you be in my bed, and you still act as if you think pleasing me revolves around satisfying me in the bedroom. I don’t want to push you.”

“I want to please you because I like seeing you smile and hearing you laugh. I like when you compliment me, or give me that proud look when I do something well in training. I want more from you intimately because I want to be close to you, Chase. Not because I’m trained to need sex. I just want it from you. I want you to hold me and make me forget about everything but us. I feel ready to be yours, but if you don’t think I am, I’m okay with waiting until you are comfortable. I know I’m…I know I have baggage, and it’s a lot for you to handle. It’s not fair of me to come into your life and ask you to deal with all of this, but I’ll keep working on being better.”

“Jesus, Anya,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I just didn’t want to break you. You should be stronger before having another relationship like that with a man. I want you to make the decision on being with me or not. Not just because I’m the first man who was nice to you, or because I took you into my home. I want you to pick me because I’m it for you.”

The chasm that stretched between them was too much, so she straddled his hips and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. He didn’t balk against her, so she scooted closer until his already hardened erection was pressed against her shorts. Helpless to Chase’s draw, she shuddered and leaned into him. A low growl came from his throat, but the sound was filled with desire and didn’t scare her.

“I choose you because you’re everything I want. You were kind to me and yes, you did take me into your home. But you also trusted me, put me into training because you believed in me, you treated me like your equal. You took me on the best date of my life.”

“It was your only date,” he said in a half-hearted argument.

“No other could ever compare. You make me happy, can’t you see that? When I’m working, I count the hours until I get to see you again. Sometimes I get so excited to see you, I can’t speak because I’m afraid of what will come out.” She eased back and allowed to see the emotion in her filling eyes. “I choose you because I love you. Not the blind love I was taught to have for an alpha who didn’t deserve my loyalty, but the soul-consuming, burning, safe-feeling, nail-biting, I-can’t-stop-thinking-about-you kind of love.”

He rocked back, as if he would deny her admission—like she couldn’t be talking about him—but his eyes grew determined and his lips crashed onto hers. He pulled her hair until her lips were tilted up at an angle for him, then dipped his tongue against hers. The brush of his fingertips burned trails down her skin as he touched her neck, then yanked at her shirt over her head. His eyes smoldered as he dropped his gaze to her breasts. How could he make her feel so beautiful with just a glance?

She’d been waiting to feel her skin against his, and she melted against him. His chest was warm and taut against the softness of her breasts, and she rocked her hips against his. He groaned and launched her upward, then ripped her pants down to her ankles, and waited as she kicked out of them. The elastic of his shorts gave as she tugged them downward, and she lowered to her knees.

“You don’t have to do that,” he rasped, his eyes burning.

“Please, I want to.” She’d wanted to take him in her mouth, to taste him, for days and wasn’t above begging. He’d been so selfless with giving her pleasure but hadn’t allowed her to return the favor, and triumph surged through her when he nodded his head. He shucked his pants the rest of the way, unsheathing himself completely.

His length was intimidating and she ran a reverent hand up the length of it. Chase’s hips flexed with the motion and he leaned his head back, exposing the thick cords of muscle in his neck. This masculine, powerful man was finally letting her touch him the way she wanted—the way she’d craved.

Licking her lips to wet them, she took his head into her mouth and circled him with her tongue, teasing. A guttural growl rippled through him and his hips jerked. Sitting back on her heels, she held him with both hands and lowered him into the back of her mouth, stroking long and slow until he pushed against her rhythmically. His hard abs flexed with each thrust, and when his hand wrapped in her hair, she knew she had him.