Betray the Bear (Bear Valley Shifters #4)(26)

Riker had been waiting when she’d arrived at the cattle barns to meet Hannah this morning. He’d been so stoic, but informed her she was finished with her probation and could walk Bear Valley without escorts from now on. Then a small smile cracked his face as his mate, Hannah, jumped in the air and whooped loud enough to echo through the clearing. If Anya were still trying to spy for Nathan, it would’ve been good news for treacherous reasons. As it stood, Riker’s announcement felt like warm acceptance. Bear Valley had been wiggling its way into her heart all week, and now, an alpha she respected so much let her know she was one of his clan members.

She felt like celebrating her newfound freedom, so after a long day of work, she’d walked all the way to Daria’s house by herself. She’d talked to the healer for half an hour and begged more herbs for a second batch of balm for Chase’s injury, then came straight to the office to see Joanna to beg advice.

“Joanna? I mean Jo,” Anya corrected as her friend left the office building clan meetings were held in. “Could I talk to you for a couple of minutes?”

“Of course.” Jo waved to Brody and the other council members as they filed out the door, then gestured to a wooden picnic table under the shade of a giant pine tree.

Setting her packet of herbs on the warped wooden surface, she slid into the bench seat and wiped nut shells some squirrel had left onto the pine needle covered ground.

Jo sat opposite her and surprised her by grabbing her hands and squeezing. “I’m really glad you came here, Anya. I thought about you a lot after I left. Wondered how you were doing. You didn’t seem like Nathan’s other mates...er…whatever they are. You weren’t that hardened.”

April and Greta were calloused, yes. They had to be. But Merit-the-evil-shrew was a different story altogether. Anya hadn’t ever seen a soul in that horrid woman. How Nathan could be smitten with a woman like Merit spoke volumes about how far he’d fallen. He really was losing his mind along with his humanity. Just as every time she thought about Nathan, her stomach went cold as winter. Clenching her hands under the table, she steadied herself.

After tonight, she’d never see him again.

“Honestly,” Anya admitted, “I didn’t know there was anything wrong with the way I was living, or how unhappy I was until I came here.”

“It’s kind of a culture shock, isn’t it?” Jo asked with a sympathetic smile.

“The first couple of days, everything was so confusing, but now it all seems normal. Life here feels right. The more I think about the difference in Bear Valley and the Long Claws though, the angrier I get and how much everyone is manipulated by Nathan.” She cleared her throat and adjusted her weight on the wooden bench. “Nathan is actually why I came here to talk to you.”

Jo’s eyebrows winged up.

“Well,” she amended quickly, “not really Nathan so much as Chase.”

A slow, knowing smile stretched Jo’s lips and her green eyes danced. “You and Chase are together, aren’t you?”

A trill of contentment washed through Anya and she chuckled. “I want to be. That’s why I wanted your advice. You know where I’m from, so you have a different perspective than everyone else here. And you know how…demanding…Nathan was. Well, I enjoy intimacy, but Chase…” Geez, this was a terrible idea. Talking about this stuff was hard and embarrassing and Jo was staring at her with such wide, expectant eyes. How was Anya supposed to explain something that stumped her so completely?

“He doesn’t touch you like you want him to?” Joanna guessed.

Relieved that she understood, she said, “Yes. I thought maybe you could tell me if it is just a Bear Valley thing, or if something is wrong with me that I need to work on.”

“First off, has he kissed you yet?”

“Yes, plenty of kissing. I love kissing him. It feels so personal and intimate, and I’ve never felt that before. He takes his time and caresses my skin.” She frowned with the realization that she was stroking her leg under the table just talking about him. “And he does more. Kisses me other places.” Her cheeks blazed like they’d caught fire.

“Good man,” Joanna said with a wide grin. “So what don’t you like?”

“He won’t let me touch him. Or finish him. It’s as if he doesn’t want me to. And he won’t let me sleep in his bed, but I’ve told him twice I really want to. He seems to be afraid it will lead to more.”

“Have you talked to him about this stuff, Anya?”

“I’ve tried, but he seemed so uncomfortable. And he’s so good to me, so affectionate and patient, I feel bad pushing him when he’s obviously not ready.” With a huge puff of breath, she said, “I want more with him.” She wanted everything the man had to offer, but Jo didn’t need to hear that.

“He’s talked to Brody about you,” Jo said low.

Anya bit her bottom lip and imagined all the terrible things that would’ve prompted him to go to a trusted friend. Perhaps she was bad at the intimacy he was obviously trying to teach her, or maybe he didn’t like her as much as he seemed to, and was looking for advice on how to get rid of her. Maybe this was much worse than she thought.

With a brave face, she asked, “What about?”

“Can’t tell you.”