Betray the Bear (Bear Valley Shifters #4)(27)

“Jo,” she admonished, exasperated. “Then why did you bring it up?”

“I can’t tell you because I’m sworn to secrecy, but I’ll hint at what you should talk to him about.”

More puzzles. Great.

“He knows you’ve been through a lot. Does he keep asking about your time with the Long Claws?”

“Yes. He wants to talk about it a lot.” Too much. It brought up a lot of memories she wanted to forget.

“That’s not for his benefit, Anya. It hurts him to hear about how you were treated, and for dominant males, that kind of stuff is really hard not to react to. It makes them want to punish the people who hurt the ones they care about. You have to consider the possibility that he is giving you time to heal. He’s a good man, Anya, much different from Nathan. Sex means more here than it does with the Long Claws. And you just came from a really messed up, long-term situation. If he’d have jumped right into bed with you, then you should be worried. It sounds like he’s taking it slow, and you have to stop seeing that as a bad thing.” She shook her head and sighed. “I’ve said too much already. He was asking Brody about my experience with the Long Claws and any problems I had adjusting to life in Bear Valley. If you want more, you’ll have to prove to him that you’re ready.”

“How do I do that?”

Joanna shrugged and stood, dusting the seat of her pants. “That I can’t advise you on. Chase and Brody are very different men. What works for me and Brody won’t necessarily work for you guys. That’s the hard part about falling in love, Anya. You have to learn each other. It takes time and isn’t always easy, but trust me when I say, it’ll be worth it to become bonded like that.”

“Jo,” she said, rising, “you seem really happy here.”

Joanna lowered her gaze and stared at the corner of the table for a long time. When she finally looked back up, her eyes were rimmed with moisture. She swallowed hard. “I am, Anya. This is a life I never thought I would have. I’ve found my place with a mate I don’t have to share. And despite all my faults, he loves me. I’m really glad you came here. Your life was really hard and you probably don’t even realize the scars Nathan has left on you. But here, you’ll have a chance to lead a good life. A meaningful one filled with happiness. And if you ever need anything, please come to me. You were kind to me when we lived under Nathan, and I always wished we were in a different situation so we could be friends. I can’t even describe how happy I was when you showed up in Bear Valley. Chase will be good for you but you’ll have to be patient with him. He has his reasons for behaving the way he does, Anya. Just give him time.”

“Of course.” She’d give him until the end of time, if he needed it. Whatever was going through his mind, she wouldn’t push him anymore, and would let him find his own way to her.

She waved as Joanna left, and began to make her way toward the trail that would lead to the training arena. After her trip to Daria’s house and her talk with Joanna, she would only make it for the conditioning part of class, but it was better than nothing.

Plucking absently on the twine that crisscrossed the crackling paper protecting the herbs, she frowned at the dirt path in front of her. Maybe Jo was saying Chase thought she was too messed up from her time with Nathan to begin a real relationship. Was she messed up? How deeply had she been affected? Sure, everything about Chase confused her, but it was all in good ways. He didn’t put her down or demand her submission. He didn’t call her names and he encouraged her to find her strength, both in the training arena and when she talked to people in the clan. He even seemed to like when she was mouthy with him and spoke her mind.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be confusing if she hadn’t been with Nathan for the past two years though. Maybe her mind was trained to be a certain way around males and with sex. What if Chase was waiting for her to fix the broken pieces of herself? She was angry with Nathan, and felt used, and sometimes she had bad dreams of him coming for her, but she didn’t feel broken. Not around Chase. On the contrary, she felt…hopeful.

Chase frowned as he watched her approach the fence that encased the training field. His class was currently high-kneeing circles around the arena. “You okay? I was starting to worry.”

Throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him soundly and eased back. The fence rails were pressed against her ribcage, but she didn’t care. She missed him so damned bad when she went this long without seeing him. “Riker says I’m off probation.”

“Yeah?” His brows relaxed as the worry drifted from his face.

She nodded with a big goofy grin on her face.

“You want to celebrate tonight?” he asked as she scaled the fence and sat atop the highest rail. He positioned himself between her legs and wrapped his strong arms around her back. “Muriel, higher knees or you can start over,” he called over his shoulder. The man had eyes in the back of his head.

From this height, they were almost eye level, and Anya wrapped her arms around his neck again. “How do you want to celebrate?” Her tone was sultrier than she had intended.

“Anya,” he warned.

“No, I wasn’t saying…I know you aren’t ready. I am, but you have your reasons and need time, and I’m okay with that.” She lowered her voice. “I love you. I’ll wait.” She’d been feeling these sentiments for days, but hadn’t actually meant to blurt them out like this. Paralyzed and wide-eyed, she watched as confusion pulled his eyebrows down.