Bereft (Seven Year Itch #2)(23)

Chapter 11


Rachel


I watched my husband walk out the door and said nothing. I didn’t run after him and beg him to stop. I didn’t regret telling him I was through. I was numb, momentarily. I wanted him to see what he’d done and regret it for the rest of his life. He needed to know he’d done this to us, and that his actions had put me in this position. Grayson assumed I was romantically involved with Chad, and I didn’t correct him. It made me feel empowered over the situation. I had the upper hand, because instead of dwelling in sadness I’d picked up a hottie and brought him home to f*ck mercifully until the name Grayson no longer existed.

“Are you okay?” Chad asked while standing beside me.

I turned and looked directly into his eyes. I knew it was wrong on so many levels, but I was brutally demolished when it came to my marriage. I needed reprieve, and I was desperate to do whatever that entailed. “Would you like to come upstairs with me?”

“You know it’s a bad idea. Anger f*cks are fun, but you’ll be hurting worse in the morning.”

“I’m afraid there is no worse. It’s not possible. I’ve hit rock bottom.”

“I’m not coming upstairs with you. It won’t help. I can distract you, but the pain will still exist.”

I’d never touched another man besides my husband since we first began dating. Seeing this half-naked specimen in front of me, one who’d done nothing but compliment me, protect me even. I wasn’t worried about what would happen afterwards. I didn’t care if it was awkward, because I didn’t give a shit about anything anymore. My marriage was over. It was done. I wouldn’t get past an affair of this magnitude.

“All I want to do is forget about everything for a little while. You can either come upstairs and help me out, or I’ll do it my damn self. The choice is yours.”

“Rach, you’re mad. I get it. Once you cross that line, there’s no going back. I can live with it, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to. As much as I’d like to be the person to give a woman like you a good time, I need to say no. It’s for all the wrong reasons.”

“But you said…”

“I know what I said before,” he interrupted. “It’s different now. This shit is ridiculously complicated. I’m good with revenge, but I’m not okay with working next to you in the future and seeing the look in your eyes that I know you’ll give me. It can’t work.”

It hurt. I’m not going to lie. Being rejected when I wanted nothing more than to relieve my frustrations. I knew Chad was right. Sleeping with him would be a mistake. The alcohol mixed with my emotions were causing me to make irrational decisions. I was angry, intolerable. I needed to justify my decisions before making them. “Fine.” I spun around and stormed up the steps, realizing I was going to spend the night alone, in the bed Grayson had f*cked his little girlfriend in.

I’d replaced the sheets, but after her little conversation, I couldn’t begin to imagine myself sleeping on that mattress. I immediately began to cry, taking my pillows and putting them on the carpeted floor. I’d rather sleep there, then feel like their love making was overwhelming me.

I don’t know how long I bawled. Time wasn’t important. My life was in shambles. It was so pathetic I’d hit on my new boss; someone I’d hated for years. Now he was sleeping on my couch, worried about my well-being. I felt so confused.

I laid there staring at the ceiling fan for a while. I thought about Grayson, and the things he’d said to me when I discovered his affair. I thought about Kyla, and how she’d contradicted a lot of it. Then I thought about Chad. I’d been wrong about him. There was more to him than a nice body and cocky smile. I didn’t know how I was going to face him after throwing myself out there. He must have been laughing the moment I walked away.

I was glad he’d stuck around though. Grayson was shocked to see another man in our home. The idea of hurting him made me happy. I wanted him to suffer. I needed it to feel like his heart was being ripped from his chest. It was important for him to know he was replaceable. In my heart I didn’t feel that way, but I’d never lead on otherwise.

A light knocking caused me to sit up. I knew it was Chad, and I suddenly wondered what I was going to say. I stood up and made my way over to the door, cracking it open. It was dark in the hallway. I could barely see his face. “Yes? Did you need something?”

He cleared his throat, like he was giving himself a second to reconsider. “Can I come in?”

“What for?” I inquired.

“Look, you’re older. You’re married. It’s obvious you’re going through hell. Me being here is probably the worst idea, but I’m sitting downstairs and all I can think about is being close to you. I don’t give a shit if you hate me tomorrow. It won’t be the first one-night stand of my life. I can deal with it.” He paused for a minute. “The thing is, tonight at dinner, you looked beautiful. That dress, my God your legs went on forever.”

I pulled him into my room. “Shut up, Chad. Just shut up.” His lips were on mine before I could blink. He was so tall he had to bend over. His arms easily went around my waist. He moved his tongue gradually, as if he was testing the waters. When my hands touched his bare chest his body felt hot and rock hard. His kisses seemed suggestive, allowing me to sample what else he might be good at. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and let my own glide against it. It was warm, inviting even. I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted him closer, even though we were already touching.