Because (Seven Year Itch #4)(43)
In all honesty I feel like I’m cheating. As much as I want to enjoy myself, I feel as if I’m breaking vows I promised to keep close to my heart. It’s ridiculous really. I’m sure by this point Brandon has gone on a date, or at the least started chatting with girls online. He craves the attention of the opposite sex, so it would surprise me to discover I’m wrong. Still, I’m not him. I have values, and in this exact moment I feel as if I can’t go against my own morals.
While Char makes her way onto the dance floor, a drink in one hand and her cell in the other, I sneak to an nearby corner to people watch. That’s when I spot Cara, Toby’s fiancée walking in my direction. Her smile lets me know she’s impressed. “Shayla. Holy shit, girl. What the hell have you done to yourself? You look fantastic.”
“Thanks. I guess breaking up with Brandon has it’s perks,” I sarcastically reply.
“I guess so. I wasn’t sure it was you. I just can’t believe the change.”
“I’ve lost a few pounds and been to a stylist. It’s not a big deal.”
“You seriously look as good as you did in your high school photos. Toby is going to shit when he sees you.”
I don’t expect to get invited to the wedding, especially when I know Brandon is the best man. “Have you set a date yet?”
“It’s next month, actually.”
“I’m sure you’ve been busy.”
“I’ve been waiting my whole life for it. Any advice?”
I sip at my mixed drink. “I don’t think you want advice from me.”
“Come on. Surely you can give me something.”
“Never give up on what you love the most. It’ll be the biggest regret of your life if you do.”
My morbid reply gets the point across. She offers a friendly hug and disappears in the crowd. I don’t spot her until a little later on and I’m shocked by the company she keeps. Toby is standing with a glass of dark liquor while Brandon is at his side. They’re laughing about something together. Before they can notice me I hurry to find Char and get out of here.
I look everywhere and finally stop by the bathroom in hopes of locating her. Just as I’m about to walk inside I hear someone talking close to my ear. His voice can’t be mistaken. “Fancy meeting you here.”
I spin around and come face to face with my husband, or ex, or whatever you’d call him at this point. “Bran. I was just looking for my friend so we can get out of here.”
“What’s the rush?” He asks.
“This isn’t really my thing.”
He nods. “I know. I was surprised when Cara said she saw you. To be honest I tried to keep my distance, but then I saw you and I just couldn’t stop myself. It’s been a while. I never would have imagined how much you could change in such little time.”
“I needed a new look.”
“I can’t take my eyes off of you.”
Just like that I can feel warmth forming in all the right places. His hazel eyes are beckoning me, and if I fall, I know he’s going to be the one to catch me. I have to get away from him. “I need to find my friend,” I say while pretending to ignore his comment.
“Dance with me, Shay.” He tries to take my hand and lead me.
I jerk away. “I can’t dance. You of all people should know that.”
He steps forward and breaks the distance between us. His height forces him to look down into my eyes. I can smell a hint of his cologne when he’s this close. He drags the back of his hand over my cheek. I close my eyes and absorb the way it feels to be touched again. “I miss you.”
As much as I want to say it back it’s only adding fuel to the fire. “It was great seeing you, Bran. You seem like you’re doing well. I better get going before my friend leaves without me.”
As fast as a walk can be without turning into a canter, I haul ass out of the bar. I don’t know where Char is and it doesn’t even matter. I have to get away from him. Being that close again made me want things I swore I wouldn’t ever do again.
I can’t change the past. I can’t change him. I have to continue to remind myself of this so I can walk away without regret.
Chapter 21
“She’s still my wife, dude.” I argue with Toby.
“She’s made it clear you’re not together anymore. Come on, this night was supposed to be a new start.”
“I don’t see it that way at all. I see it as a sign that I can’t give up. Did you look at her? How can you expect me to walk away from that? She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
“Your partial to her because she’s your wife.”
“Exactly!” I remind him. “She’s still mine. I don’t care what I have to do. I have to talk to her again.”
He doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I can’t blame him for worrying. He’s seen me go through hell this past month. The pain I’ve endured, the lessons I’m still learning are all leading me to one conclusion. I need my life back. I want my family and most importantly my wife.
Except she’s made it abundantly clear I’m no longer what she wants. It’s painstaking. I don’t know the first thing about romancing a relationship back from the dead. What I do know is that when I look into her eyes I still see our future. I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s a feeling I’m not able to shake. Whatever the case, I refuse to give up.