Because (Seven Year Itch #4)(24)

She assumes I’m going to be okay with this. I know we’ve fought a lot, but I don’t feel as if this can help what’s broken. We need to figure it out together, not apart. I decided to threaten her to see how she’ll react.



This isn’t going to help our marriage. It’s going to end it. Mark my word. This is all on you. – Bran

I wait.

And wait.

I climb out of Aberdeen’s bed and make it into mine.

I keep checking my phone, but there’s no reply.

Now I think I’ve pissed her off so bad she refuses to talk to me. I want to hash this out, but I’m not able to because she’s not home. We can’t fight and make up like I’m used to. I have nothing to take my frustrations out on.

I give her phone one more call and get her voicemail. When it beeps I start to say something, but end the call instead. It’s not like she ever listens to her messages. Now more than ever she’ll want to ignore them.

When I can’t sleep I watch porn. I scroll through seventeen pages of videos before finding something I might like. I get into it, holding my phone with one hand and my dick with the other. It takes me four minutes to start noticing life down there. I’m hoping this will calm me down enough I’ll be able to sleep.

I stare at the screen, watching two women making out. They start taking off each other’s clothes. A dude comes in and they’re all over him. While one gets on her knees and starts sucking him off, the other sits on a chair away from them and watches. I’ve probably seen this one before, or I’ve just watched so much I can predict what will happen next. I sigh and try to focus, realizing almost immediately that my shit isn’t working the way I think it should be. I used to be a man who was easily turned on and now I can’t even begin to explain what’s happening to me. Even my mojo is f*cked up. I’m holding a limp dick while the sounds of the X-rated flick still play on the small screen of my phone.

It’s not until I imagine having sex with Shay when it gets hard again. I picture us in the shower, and the way her lips stretch to fit my fat cock in between them. I recall her plump ass and the way it shakes when I’m f*cking her from behind.

I’m now hard as a rock.

Her tits are what I’m thinking about now. I keep my eyes closed and pretend I’m sucking on each of them. Now she’s licking them too. Her body is rocking overtop of mine. If I focus I can almost smell her sweet skin in the room. Twenty-four hours ago this was happening for real, and being fresh on my mind is only making this more intense. For the next few minutes I recall every second of the previous night until I know I’m about to explode. I manage to grab a dirty shirt and catch it to avoid making a mess I’ll have to explain later.

With my heart racing, and exhaustion finally happening, I’m settled on calling it a night. I don’t fall asleep until hours later, and even then I toss and turn, waking up several times to find the spot next to me empty.

This would amuse my wife. There have been so many times I’ve fallen asleep on the couch and she’s left me there, yet the one night I need to be close to her, she’s gone. This can’t continue. I’ve got to bring her home for myself and my daughter, but I don’t know how to make it happen. Despite the way I feel about her, whether it be angry or in love, I know she’s in control. It’s killing me to imagine her being gone, so I have to hold on. I haven’t been a good husband, not in her eyes. I’ve made choices that have hurt her time and time again. I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted me to rot at the bottom of the ocean tied to a thousand pound cinder block.

I have to wait and be patient, but mostly I need to learn how to put her first. If I don’t, I’m afraid what’ll be left, and I know for certain it won’t be a complete family like I’m used to.





Chapter 12




The sound of my alarm wakes me. I rub my eyes before picking it up to make sure it’s the right time. For assuming I wouldn’t be able to sleep through the night, I’m surprised to find I didn’t wake up once.

I sit up in bed and look around. The sun isn’t up yet. I’m not used to this, but it’s only a small part of the changes I’m making to my life. Once I’m dressed I head downstairs and find my dad standing in the kitchen. He’s got two bottles of water sitting on the counter, and he’s stretching out his arms. “It’s about time you got up. I thought you might have changed your mind.”

I conjure up the best laugh I’m able to give for this time of morning. “Fat chance. We’re doing this. Rain or shine, for as long as possible. I’m not going to quit until I have the results I’m looking for, Dad.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear you’re so determined. It’s about time you’re doing something for yourself.”

This makes me happy. I’m petrified I’m making the biggest mistake of my life, so any support is welcomed.

I’m not surprised when I can’t make it one block without stopping to rest. I’m out shape, my determination diminishing with each pant. My dad comes back to my side and places his hand on my shoulder. He’s out of breath too. “Maybe we should start out by walking until we get back into the swing of things?”

I nod, still unable to speak. A few minutes later, after we’ve recuperated, we drink half of our water and start back on the route. We’ve made it a few blocks before either of us says anything.