Actual Stop (Agent O’Connor #1)(41)

I stroked Allison’s cheek with the palm of my hand, and the warmth of her skin dispelled the cold left by the glass. I opened my mouth, but only a weary sigh escaped. I shook my head.

Curiosity flickered in her eyes, but all she said was, “Come here,” as she tugged me into a soothing hug.

I wanted to fight it, fight her. I didn’t want her to see me when I was weak, and I sure as hell didn’t want to need comforting, especially not from the first woman who’d broken my heart. But her scent was too intoxicating, her warmth too inviting, and my need too great. I gratefully gave in.

I sank into her arms and wrapped my own around her, pulling her tight to my body. I soaked up her presence the way a flower soaks up the sun and drew comfort from the embrace. I took as much solace from the gesture as I possibly could and garnered the strength necessary to face the day, despite the new cracks to my battered heart. The hug lasted a lot longer than it probably should’ve, but I was raw and aching and, frankly, it gave me the consolation I required. It was only when I’d started to become more aware of her body and the old lingering pangs of arousal started clamoring in the back of my head that I let go.

I cleared my throat as I stepped back, thoroughly embarrassed, and swiped at my cheeks hastily to remove any traces of tears. My gaze flitted to her and then skittered away, and I licked my lips, suddenly nervous.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“Not a problem.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

I shrugged and chanced a glance at her. I’d been expecting…I don’t really know what I’d been expecting. Amusement, maybe? Mischief? I wasn’t sure. But I did know it wasn’t this sympathetic expression. It might’ve been easier for me if she’d made fun of me. I would’ve had a better idea how to respond.

“It was a rough night. You about ready to go?” I made a move toward the door, but she grabbed my arm.

“Hang on there, speed racer. Not until you tell me what the hell that was all about.”

“It was nothing. Can we go? We won’t have time for pancakes if we don’t get a move on.” I wouldn’t be able to get through telling her what’d happened with Lucia without breaking down again, and we definitely didn’t have time for that. Besides, if she thought I looked like a mess now, she really didn’t want to see me after that.

The muscles in Allison’s jaw tensed, and she folded her arms across her chest as she stared at me. Deliberately and without once breaking eye contact, she slowly lowered herself so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. She crossed one leg over the other and waited, her posture as indicative as her expression that we weren’t going anywhere until I bared my soul.

After a flash of misplaced irritation I threw up my hands. “Jesus, will you just drop it? Come on. We’ve got shit to do. I’m not in the f*cking mood for this.”

Okay, I’ll admit, that was much. Like, completely, totally, over-the-line much. She was merely expressing concern. I had no right to bite her head off. I regretted my outburst immediately but for some reason couldn’t bring myself to actually speak the words of apology she deserved. I did, however, place trembling fingers over my lips.

Here’s where I’ll give Allison credit for her skills at controlling her temper and knowing exactly how to handle me. While other people might’ve snapped right back and told me to go f*ck myself, she merely cocked her head slightly and looked at me for a long moment. Her stern glare was penetrating enough that I flushed and dropped my eyes first.

“Are you finished?”

“I think so.”

“Good.” She held one hand up and extended her index finger. “First, I’m only trying to help, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t yell at me.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Allison nodded once, but she clearly wasn’t through. She held up another finger. “Second, I will thank you to watch your f*cking mouth when you’re in my presence. I won’t take any more goddamn blasphemy from you.”

A small smile threatened to break out across my lips, spurred on by the seriousness of her expression. I dipped my head. “Done.”

“And, third, there is always time for chocolate-chip pancakes.”

At that, I laughed and held out my hand to her as though to help her up. She took it and accepted my assistance even though we both knew she didn’t really need it. It was my way of apologizing and her way of accepting.

“You’re right. What the hell was I thinking?”

“I’m leaning toward temporary insanity.” Allison flashed me a grin over her shoulder as she made her way back to the bathroom. She clattered around in there for a few minutes, affording me ample time to clean myself up and fix my own makeup in the mirror over the desk. By the time she emerged, we’d both cooled off, and the atmosphere between us had a much more bearable weight.

“Just tell me this much,” Allison said as she slid into her suit jacket. “Is Lucia okay?”

The mere mention of her name threatened to catapult me right back into my earlier despondency. I focused instead on Allison’s oddly crumpled collar and rolled my eyes, motioning her closer. I adjusted it for her and gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder. I didn’t feel even a twinge when I touched her, which spoke volumes about my mental and emotional state at that moment.