Acts of Desperation(48)
“Where is she?” I asked.
“Oh, you know you’re mother. She’s probably called half of the city to tell them this story. I think she’s out in the lobby.” I nodded. My mom has a gossipy side, but she means well. In a crisis, she never wants anyone to worry so she is quick to update any and all concerned parties. With as big as her family is, that includes about half the city.
“You keep an eye on her,” he said to Jax.
“Won’t let her out of my sight.” He smiled.
When the door closed, Jax and I sat in silence for a few minutes. He leaned back in the chair next to my bed, still holding my hand, and his head began to fall. I watched him and thought he’d finally fallen asleep; I didn’t know how he’d managed to keep his eyes open for as long as he had.
“So, I was thinking,” he said, taking a deep breath then he opened his eyes.
“What?” I sighed. “I thought you were sleeping.”
“Nope. Thinking. I need to ask you something. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I know it might not be the best time, but a lot’s happened.”
“Ok…”
Chapter Twenty-One
“It’s probably a lot, but with everything that’s happened over the past few weeks, I’ve decided I want you with me—close,” he said, looking down at his hands.
“Yeah, so what are you going to do? Attach me to your hip?” I laughed. “A couple crazy things have happened, but I think we both know they were isolated incidences. My dad will understand if you let me out of you sight.”
He grinned. “I know. But still, you know I love you.”
“Of course. I love you too…” I said then my heart began to race. “But wait—”
“No, let me finish.” He let out a slow breath. “What would you think about moving in with me?”
As soon as I heard the words, I was hit with a huge wave of relief—that wasn’t what I thought he was going to ask. And, I should have been excited about the possibility of moving in with my dream man, but for some reason I wasn’t. “What? Are you sure? I don’t know…a lot’s happened. It seems kind of soon, don’t you think?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Honestly, it’s been on my mind for a while now, even before everything’s that happened. I think I’ve pictured you living with me all the way back when I was getting my place ready for you to see it the first time. It wasn’t even a conscious decision then, but I can see now that I was getting it ready for you. I think that’s why I waited so long to let you see it, I wanted it to be perfect. And, these last two weeks, I almost lost you twice, and it just made everything completely clear. I want you—in my bed every night, to wake up with every morning, to talk over coffee. I want you there, next to me.” He put his hand up to his mouth then ran it through his hair. “What do you think?”
“Jax this is so sweet, but I just woke up from a nightmare.” I tried to swallow my uneasiness. “I’m not saying no, but I need a little time to think about this. I feel a little mixed up,” I said.
“Of course, I understand,” he said, but his forced smile couldn’t hide his disappointment. “Take some time.”
“Thanks,” I said and tried to reassure him with a smile. Really, I was in no position to make a decision about my future yet, plain and simple. Plus, in thinking a little more about it, I’d lived with John for two years and look where that got me. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go down the road of living with someone for years again, waiting endlessly for a proposal that might never come. What I really wanted was the fairy tale ending, and maybe what I could take away from the situation with John was that I deserved one.
A few quiet awkward minutes passed, but when we started to talk about work and the day to day things that I’d missed, we started to feel like us again. I couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital and to be in the comfort of my own home. I certainly wasn’t going to miss the people waking me up constantly and poking me every five minutes.
Over the next couple of days, the hospital staff continued to monitor my progress, and it looked like I was going to make a complete recovery with no lasting effects from the concussion or the medley of drugs I’d been given. Then, I was finally released. My doctors recommended I take a week off work to fully recuperate, and I did so begrudgingly.
While I’d been away, Jax told me June had been handling my cases, and I hated the feeling that someone else—especially her—was doing my work. I was eager to get back to my normal life and to do the job that I loved, but I had to trust that my doctors knew what they were talking about.
When I did get home, I discovered Liz had had the back door fixed and had a new security system installed, complete with panic buttons and all the bells and whistles so our safety wasn’t going to be an issue. My mom and dad visited Liz and me almost every day and brought enough food to feed us for a month. Deep down, I think everyone was conspiring to not leave me alone for one minute but surprisingly, I felt fine. Even the home health nurse that came to remove the seven stitches from my forehead said she thought I was doing amazingly well. All my bad guys were either dead or locked away, so there wasn’t much for me to worry about.
Jax and I hadn’t seen each other since I’d got home from the hospital, and we’d only had a couple very brief conversations over the phone throughout the week, but he did text me constantly to check in. He said he was extremely busy trying to catch up at work and working a lot of late nights—I could only imagine how much stuff he’d put off while I was missing.