A SEAL's Courage (Military Match #1)(12)

She had no idea, not a fucking clue, how wrong she was. She’d blown his control to hell tonight by admitting she wanted him. Telling him she’d gone into their date prepared to seduce whoever she ended up with had filled his mouth with the bitter taste of jealousy. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t stop imagining her in someone else’s arms, and every image that filled his head made him want to put a dent in something.

He drew a breath, forcing his fists to unfurl, but couldn’t bring himself to face her. If he had to look into those big brown eyes, he’d never get the words out. She made him too damn vulnerable. “That’s just it. I’m not sorry I ended up with you. It’s just ironic, really.”

“Ironic that you ended up with someone who reminds you of your sister, you mean? I get it, you know. You’re not attracted to me. Hell. So far, nobody is. So you can save your breath. I’m sorry I got angry. I was embarrassed, and it was a knee-jerk reaction.”

This time the pain and dejection in her voice were sharp points piercing his insides he could no longer ignore. He pivoted and marched back to her. He ached more than he could ever remember to cross the threshold. To taste her. To just once hear what sounds she made in the heat of passion. To feel her body rise to his.

She was right. She needed someone who’d go slowly the first time, who’d be gentle with her, and damned if he didn’t want to be that man.

The thought of hurting her, of losing the easy friendship they’d formed, though, was a hole in his chest.

She stared at him as if waiting for a response, but what the hell could he say? She didn’t remind him of his sister. At all. He just couldn’t tell her that. Keeping her at a distance, as much as he hated it, was for the best. For her. Because Lauren deserved so much better than what he could give her at this point in his life.

Hurt flashed across her face, followed by an angry determination he knew all too well. Lauren hiked her chin a notch. “Well, as long as we’re being honest, you really want to know why I made you that offer? In part because I was curious to know how you’d respond, but mostly? Because in the dead of night, Trent, when the loneliness eats away at me, do you know who I think about? You.”

The stubborn glint in her eye told him that her bold suggestion was a taunt. No doubt in order to gain a reaction. Because the sweet, polite woman he’d come to know would never have said something like that in front of anyone.

Despite knowing all that, her words hit their intended target. Any and all blood normally reserved for important things like rational thinking rushed south. In two seconds flat, his cock thickened behind his fly. Knowing she thought about him in the dead of night shattered the last of his control. Blew it to hell and scattered the pieces all around him.

He was two desperate little seconds from dragging her against him when Lauren braced her hands on his chest, lifted onto her toes, and sealed her mouth over his. For a moment he could only remember to drag in oxygen. Her warm, lithe body against his shot his brain function to hell. Lauren wasn’t wearing a bra. Her tightened nipples rubbed his chest as surely as if she were naked against him, teasing his skin and setting his blood on fire.

Christ, she tasted like heaven. Soft, pliant mouth. A hint of cinnamon. Her hands fisted the lapels of his jacket. To pull him in or shove him away, he didn’t know, but she turned her head, slanting those luscious lips over his, and thrust her tongue inside, bold as brass. All those supple curves he’d admired from afar slid against the hard planes of his body, like she couldn’t get close enough, and Trent lost his fucking mind.

More aroused than he remembered being in a long damn time, he wound his arms around her and dragged her closer before he even realized he’d moved.

A soft moan vibrated through her, snapping him back to reality. Trent finally found what little self-control he had left and pulled his mouth from hers. For a moment he could only stare at her. His heart hammered his ribs so hard he feared the damn thing would burst from his chest.

Shit. She’d gone and pulled that last punch, and he’d fucking caved. Like he had no self-control at all.

It didn’t help that she looked as leveled as he felt. Her hot, harsh breaths whispered over his mouth, calling him back. Those big brown eyes drooped to half-mast and filled with a heat that burned through him.

She stared for one heart-pounding moment, eyes reaching and searching. “Don’t stop.”

For a singular moment, he contemplated taking her up on her offer, picking up the thread they’d started and continuing. But where would that leave them when it ended? Because it would. It had to. He just wasn’t relationship material right now, and in the end he’d hurt her. And then he’d have lost her for good.

She was a bright spot in a dark world. He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t.

“Lauren…” Trent shook his head, released his hold on her, and backed away, but her fingers tightened around the lapels of his jacket, stopping his retreat.

She furrowed her brow and shook her head. “We’re both adults. I may be a virgin, but I’m old enough and wise enough to make this decision for myself.” She followed his retreat and pushed herself against him, sliding her hands up his back. “Stay the night with me, Trent. Be my first.”

God she hadn’t a damn clue how badly he wanted to.

He unwound her hands from his back and shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”