A Place in the Sun(60)

All the tables outside were claimed already, but Katerina insisted that the rest of the group was already inside. They’d snagged a space near the small bar and when we joined, Massimo smiled at me, putting on a real show of feigning ignorance that anything was wrong.

“Cheers!” he said, handing me an ice-cold beer.

I tried a smile on, hated the way it felt, and decided not to force my emotions the rest of the night. The group was big enough that no one minded if I sat quietly, observing the scene without being an active participant. Everyone appreciates a tragic loser hanging about to remind them how much better their life is, comparatively. Tonight, I would fill that role.

It was nice to be in the noisy bar with everyone. Paolo told football stories that made us all laugh and Massimo made sure I always had a drink in hand, though I didn’t choose to imbibe. I didn’t want to be sloppy drunk and start crying to everyone about how much I missed Gianluca.

God, I missed him though.

It’d been two weeks since I’d seen him, which felt like centuries after such an extended period of closeness. I felt overwhelmed by the idea that this would be the new normal.

My throat felt tight and my eyes burned with stifled tears.

Katerina nudged my side. “You all right?”

I swallowed and took a deep breath, relieved when the tightness in my throat eased a bit.

“Yes, fine. I always get a bit choked up when they play Britney. Her comeback and all.”

A new song came on over the radio and Sofia, one of the Italian girls with Paolo, squealed and stood up to dance. She was so confident, spinning in the center of our circle. She convinced a few more people to join in and then eventually, we’d all stood and pushed our chairs back. Massimo and Katerina wouldn’t allow me to mope in the corner while everyone else danced. They took turns forcing me into spins and entertaining me with truly heinous dance moves.

“You’ve got two left feet, Katerina!”

She turned back to me and I realized I had a genuine smile on my face for the first time in days.

“Hate to say it, but you’re not much better!”

I laughed and tried to shimmy my upper body, doing a few silly moves to jokingly convince her of my dancing ability. I truly was terrible. Other girls knew how to move their bodies so well. I moved around like a stiff gran, scared to slip a disc.

“Drinks!” Paolo shouted over the group, holding up his empty glass. “Who’s thirsty?”

“G and I will get this round!” Katerina said, taking my hand and dragging me through the crowd. We weren’t far from the bar, but it still took us a while to cut through everyone. It was loud and overwhelming, but I liked it. Being in the bar overwhelmed all my senses, temporarily drowning out the sensation of a broken heart.

Katerina was leaned forward over the bar, shouting her order to the bartender when a cool breeze forced the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. I shivered and looked over my shoulder, scanning the crowd. There were dancing couples and rowdy groups of tourists. I watched a few girls shout in unison, clink their shot glasses overhead, and then down them with looks of mirthful disgust. Their groans and shudders made me smile.

Katerina nudged my arm to alert me that our drinks had arrived, but I was frozen in place, staring at the front where the bar spilled out into the street. There, standing in the fringe, was Gianluca, cast in the hazy yellow light of the street.





HE WAS AN absolute dream in his black t-shirt, jeans, and boots. His hair looked dark and damp, his eyes a few shades darker. His hands were stuffed into his jean pockets and he was staring straight at me, his expression indiscernible from that distance.

My stomach squeezed tight as I blinked, just to be sure it was him that was attracting the stares of every woman he passed. He’d begun to weave toward us through the crowd and I felt sick. I wasn’t ready to see him; I hadn’t collected my thoughts and composure. I had been hoping to have a few more days for my head and my heart to compare notes.

Katerina shook my arm, pointing to the drinks on the bar. She needed help carrying them. She hadn’t spotted Gianluca yet and she was complaining that I’d gone catatonic on her. I opened my mouth to tell her he was there, but I couldn’t seem to form the words.

My hands shook as I grabbed the three beers. I focused on them as we weaved through the crowd, so anxious that Gianluca would come up behind me I jumped out of my skin when a girl accidently bumped into me. In the end, we reached the group at the same time. Everyone cheered when they saw him, excited to see their friend. I couldn’t force myself meet his eyes.

Having finished dancing while we had been away, they were back to sitting in a circle and chatting. I handed off the beers and took my seat beside Katerina again. Someone found a seat for Gianluca and he sat down across from me, so far away I’d have to shout if I wanted to talk to him.

I could feel several eyes trained on me. Katerina and Massimo’s flicked over to me repeatedly like I was a teetering Jenga tower ready to crumble. I straightened my spine and forced a smile in a concerted effort to disappoint them, then turned to Paolo and goaded him into telling another story.

Gianluca and I were neck and neck in a competition for who could be the quietest in the group. Sofia tried several times to bait him into conversation, but he offered up one-word answers and sipped the beer Katerina had passed to him.

Tonight calls for beer.