Soul of Flame (Imdalind Series #4)(47)
“It’s your necklace, on the floor.”
“I can’t take this back, Jos. It’s a piece of me, remember.” I cringed at his voice, the memory of that day slapping me in the face.
This was exactly what I had been afraid of. I was scared of the good memories, the ones that would bring regret. The ones that weren’t tainted. Part of me wanted to keep them hidden, keep them safe from the horrors that I was sure were just waiting to destroy them forever.
“I know,” I said, my voice breaking as I fought back the tears that burned behind my eyes. “But I need you to. I need you to take your heart back, Ry. It doesn’t belong to me anymore.”
“Did Ilyan tell you to say that?” he spat, his angry voice causing me to jump, the same voice that had haunted me coming back so fast that the anxiety increased, my panic rushing right to the surface.
My breathing picked up as my magic swirled, the joints in my jaw stiffening. I was one quick move away from rushing the door when Ilyan pressed his hand against my face, his magic rushing into me as he smothered the fear and anger that rose up in me. I focused on Ilyan’s eyes as his warmth filled me, knowing how dangerous I was right then. I knew that with only one surge of my magic the door would fly right off its hinges.
I exhaled deeply at feeling the numbing blanket of Ilyan’s magic take over, my mind coming back to myself. I could hear whispering on the other side of the door as Sain did the same to Ryland, Ry’s voice spouting out in anger every few minutes.
“The memory bind is slipping; we don’t have much time left,” Ilyan whispered to me as I focused on him, and the last of my anxiety melted away. “You need to hurry.”
“Ry,” I said loudly, even though I could hear whispering on the other side of the door. The whispering stopped almost immediately, and the door jerked against my back as Ryland pressed himself against it.
I closed my eyes as I tried to focus, not sure if what I was about to say was going to help or not.
“I want you to have your heart back, not because I don’t love you, but because I do, just not in that way.” I stopped midsentence as my heart compressed inside my chest, the pressure so much I wasn’t sure if it was still beating. I swallowed hard and continued on, knowing I needed to say this. I needed him to understand. “I want you to have your heart back because I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I want you to feel like yourself.”
I exhaled deeply when I finished, my eyes focused on the door as I waited for him to respond. The seconds dragged on, my fingers pressing into the door as I waited, as I silently pleaded for him to accept the necklace, to take back the piece of him.
“When I made this, I had no idea who you really were,” he said out of the blue, my pressured grip against the door loosening almost instantly. “I wanted you to have it, forever, because I knew I would never see you again. I was going to run away and try to disappear. Anything to keep from what Edmund had planned for me. My father had been training me for years to hunt Ilyan. I wasn’t even going to school. He was going to send Cail and me on a kamikaze trip to kill my brother. I guess, in some ways, that still happened.”
My eyes widened at his words, Ilyan’s surprise joining my own as this new bit of information was revealed to us.
“And then, when I found your kiss, and I knew I could use you against my dad, to make him hurt the way he had made me hurt. Hurt. Hurt,” Ryland continued, his voice a snap that shot through me, the tone deep and angry. I shrunk away from the door at the sound, glad when Ilyan wrapped his arm around me, bringing me into him protectively.
“Sain?” Ilyan spoke up from beside me, his voice tense and worried as his grip on me increased.
“We are close,” Sain said before his voice deteriorated into frantic whispers on the other side of the door.
I held still against Ilyan, not sure what was happening. I could hear the whispers from the other side, soft whimpers that made my heart ache.
“Will you keep the necklace, Jos?” Ryland said through the silence, his request freezing me in place.
“I can’t…”
“No, not my heart. Just the necklace. A promise that maybe we can try to be friends again.” The plea on his voice cut through me, my breath catching in my chest. I didn’t want the necklace back, but I couldn’t deny him this.
“Of course,” I whispered as I lay against Ilyan’s chest.
The whispering on the other side of the door picked up, the frantic nature of it building until it stopped, followed by a loud grunt echoing in my ears. I moved closer to the door, Ilyan’s arms dropping from me as I pressed myself against it, desperate to hear something that would clue me into what had happened.
“It looks just like your eyes,” Ryland said, his voice so strained I barely heard it. “Wear it always.”
Ryland’s voice cut out, a scraping sound catching my attention as he pushed the necklace back under the door. I dropped to my knees as I saw it, the now clear diamond streaked with his blood. It rested on his fingertips as he pushed it toward me, the red smudges on his hand as bright as the sun.
I reached down, the tips of my fingers pressing against the cold skin of his hand as I covered the necklace. I kept my hand there, my skin pressed against the only part of him I could see. I held my breath, waiting for the connection—for something to happen—but all I felt was the iron chill of his skin and the rough texture of his hands. His fingers moved to wrap around mine, his hand twisting to drop the necklace into my hand, the stone as cold as his skin.