Soul of Flame (Imdalind Series #4)(40)

“Well, don’t let me interrupt such a silent reunion,” Wyn said as she moved past Ilyan toward the door, her hand on the doorknob before she spoke again. “Be nice to each other.”

The door clicked shut and I ran to him blindly, well aware of the joyful tears that were flowing down my cheeks. He wrapped his arms around me as I made impact with his chest, his wide hands pressing me against him as I breathed deeply, the familiar scent of his magic moving into me.

I could hear the beat of his heart in his chest, my own frantic pulse moving to keep time with his. I buried my face into his neck as he held me, the warmth of his magic tucked away just under the surface of his skin. I pressed my hand to his neck, letting my magic flow into him, glad when he accepted it, my soul relaxing at the renewed contact. His warm breath moved over my cheek as he brought me closer to him. One hand tangling in my hair until it reached my neck, his magic soared into me at the skin contact. I sighed with the warmth that flooded into me, the anxiety and anger that had been plaguing me disappearing almost immediately.

I knew I didn’t need him to take these emotions away for me anymore; I was perfectly aware that I could fight them on my own. Right then, however, I savored the feel of his skin against mine and the warmth of his magic. I cherished the feel of having him back, the pain in my heart that no amount of magic could take away leaving almost immediately.

Ilyan's hand slid over my neck until his fingers grazed the corner of my mark, the comforting touch soft and gentle against the raised skin. I felt the silky touch of the tips of his fingers before the jolt came, the sensation so strong and powerful that I gasped, my back arching as my magic supercharged. Ilyan supported my weight as my knees buckled, the torrent of magic flowing away from me in a gust of wind and energy that swirled around us, whipping hair and clothes, lifting the feathers that lined the floor.

The soft puffs of white swirled like a blizzard, enclosing us in them until everything was white. I held onto Ilyan, the colored sparks of magic erupting among the storm as our magic met and joined in the bright air around us. The lights flashed and twinkled until we were surrounded by them, spots of brilliant color among the white that made me feel like we were trapped in a cloud of light.

Ilyan’s arms tightened around me as we watched our magic join together again, our souls rejoicing at finding their other halves, welcoming each other home. The flow of his thoughts came again at his touch, the joy of his emotions rushing into me.

“I'm sorry, Ilyan,” I whispered. I am so sorry.

“As am I; I never should have made that promise to Ryland,” he whispered, the rate of his heart picking up slightly in regret.

“It’s okay; I know why you did it. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry. I’m sorry.”

“I know, my love, I know. I apologize for having lost my temper,” he whispered into my hair, the warmth of his breath running pleasurably over my skin. My heart beat faster at the greeting. The knowledge that he still thought of me that way soothed the pain in my heart.

“Never block me out again, all right?” Ilyan pulled away from me, his bright blue eyes pouring into mine as he looked at me, his hand soft as he moved my hair out of my face. “Your soul cannot survive without mine.”

I nodded once, his words confirming what I already knew—what I had already felt. In my anger, I had blocked my soul from its other half, the act supercharging my loss and anger, injuring me. Never again. I never wanted to feel that pain that had controlled me for the past day again.

I smiled and pressed my face into his chest, the hollow of my ear pressing into his shirt as the heavy pounding of his heartbeat filled me.

Never, I said into his mind, relishing the return of our connection. Never. Never.

“Good, because I never want to feel like the world has broken in two.”

“Like my heart was shattered,” I finished the thought, my emotions having mirrored his own.

“I was so scared,” I said, my voice a gasp of air from the tightness in my chest. Everything tensed at what I was about to say. “I never meant any of what I said, and after you had left, I couldn’t find you. I couldn’t feel you, even through the ?tít—”

“The ?tít is gone, Joclyn. When you pushed me away, my love. I was so angry…” He stopped mid-sentence as his breath caught, his regret growing as I held him. “I broke it,” he finished dully, the regret plaguing him.

It hadn’t just been me who had pushed, who had let the anger win. Ilyan had, too.

I nodded once in understanding, my fingers moving over his collarbone as he shuddered beneath me.

“Can we fix it?” I asked. “Can you put it back?”

“Our magic is so closely connected that, if I attempted to do so, I believe your magic would bond to mine without us making any attempt.”

Even though I would have gladly consented to such a thing, I could hear the echo of Ilyan’s answer in his mind. He wanted to wait, wait until my mind was fully healed.

I had to respect that. Admire the respect he had for me.

“I’m scared, Ilyan, that without it there… how am I supposed to defeat Edmund?”

“You are worried that you won’t be able to control your emotions; that you won’t be able to fight?” His fingers trailed over my jaw at the question, the touch sending a comforting warmth up my spine as I shivered.