Soul of Flame (Imdalind Series #4)(35)

Everything stopped in expectation of an answer, one that I knew I wouldn’t be able to give. So I just clung, my fingers tangling around her nightgown as I internally pleaded with her to drop it, not to make me expand on something I was almost sure would end in a panic attack.

“Jos?” she asked again as she shut the door behind her, the heavy wood slab closing with a loud bang that echoed in my ears and flared the alarm that my weak emotions had let take over.

I jerked at the noise, my arms flying away from her as they moved to cover my ears. Wyn’s eyes widened again at my reaction, which only made me shy away from her all the more. I didn’t like being looked at like that, least of all by Wyn.

“Calm down, Jos. It’s okay. It’s okay,” she soothed, her hand rubbing over my back. I tried to settle down—I really did—but I couldn’t seem to get my body to cooperate.

“If you want, I can sing you a stupid Styx song,” she offered, a wide, cheesy grin on her face. The absurdity of her suggestion wound through me in sweet familiarity, the joyful light in her eyes breaking through my anxiety enough that I could return the smile. Albeit, it was more chagrined than wide and cheesy.

“That’s better. Let me get you some water.”

I sank down to the ground as Wyn weakly walked away from me toward the bathroom, her hand clinging to different pieces of furniture in an attempt to keep herself steady.

I needed to pull myself together. It was only Wyn. My friend. She had been there from the beginning, and I didn’t see that changing anytime soon.

My lungs ached as I breathed, my body protesting the surge of anxiety and emotion I was still trying to calm.

“You are lucky I was able to come,” she said from the bathroom, her voice carrying to me as I kept my focus on the floor. “It’s my first time out of bed since yesterday… since… well, you know…” Her voice trailed off as she rambled, the sounds so familiar I couldn’t help smiling.

“Everyone wanted to keep me there, but I couldn’t, not after today. So I kinda snuck out; hence the 1970s gown. I’m just glad it’s not brown,” she jabbered on as she came out of the bathroom, another large earthen mug in her hands. My fingers twitched as I wrapped them around the mug she extended toward me, my body seeming to relax from the magic that seeped from it.

“Th-thank-k… y-you,” I said, my voice shaky as I brought the mug closer.

“Yeah, I really am sorry. I didn’t think you were that bonkers… I mean, I didn’t know how scared you would be… I mean, Thom told me, but I guess I just assumed he was full of it…”

I smiled at her. Her crazy banter was familiar, even though her voice was a little different. I brought the mug to my lips, grateful for an excuse not to answer her implied questions and assumptions.

I took a big gulp of the water in relief, only to gag when the tasteless mass hit my stomach. My body revolted, heaving as it tried to get the imposter out of me. I don’t know why I hadn’t checked, why I had assumed. Wyn hadn’t given me Black Water; it was regular water. It tasted like sand and moldy bread against my tongue, and it felt the same in my stomach. I hadn’t expected my body to have that kind of reaction, and I certainly wasn’t ready for what came next. My stomach heaved, and I turned to the side, my body expelling the mass in a bubbly mix of water and stomach acid.

“God, Jos, are you okay?” Wyn exclaimed, her body jumping away in disgust.

“Th-that’s wat-ter-r,” I managed to get out before my body embarrassed me again, more yellow acid spreading away from me and over the feathers that covered the stone floor.

“Well, duh, I told you I was getting water,” Wyn shrieked, her voice finally sounding like herself for once.

“I m-mean… it-t’s w-wat-ter.” I moved toward the wall, pressing my head against the cold stone in hope that the chill would stop my body from rebelling against me further. I wasn’t sure it was going to get the message, though; everything still felt like I had eaten a live fish. At least the anxiety had lessened to a manageable level. My stomach hadn’t reacted like that when I had forced down the mushrooms in Isola Santa. I wondered what the difference was.

“Yeah,” Wyn said in oblivious confusion.

I lifted my eyes to her, my body suddenly feeling extraordinarily heavy in understanding.

She didn’t know.

“Dude, is everything okay?” she asked again as her magic ran from her in a bright streak of red, the powerful surge burning away most of the mess I had just made.

I nodded at her and dumped the rest of the poisonous water over the smoldering remains of feathers and vomit, letting it run in long rivulets somewhere under the destroyed bed and away from us, thankfully taking the smell with it. I watched them run away as I placed my hand over the rim of the mug, the Black Water refilling immediately. I don’t know why Wyn had given me regular water in a mug that was made for Black, but no harm done. Well, besides a little bit of vomit.

I took a long drink and let the water supercharge me, taking my crazed emotions and settling them, letting the stress melt away until I felt a little less like a mental patient.

I looked up to Wyn, expecting that same opened-mouth wonder that Ilyan had given me. But, she just shook her head, a small smile playing around her lips, almost as if she had expected it.

“I guess we both have our secrets, huh?” she said as her body folded to sit right in front of me.