Soul of Flame (Imdalind Series #4)(109)

“We are going to rest for five hours before we move again. We need to get to the safe house above the clock before night falls tomorrow, so the earlier start we get, the better.” Dramin nodded his head at Ilyan’s words, and I had a sinking sensation that he had already known what Ilyan was going to say.

“Sain has said we will be safe while we sleep, so I suggest everyone rest,” Ilyan continued, the deep presence of the king heavy in the darkness of the cave.

Sain and Dramin both nodded their heads before closing their eyes, their bodies already relaxing in feigned sleep. I wasn’t sure the Drak would let them sleep.

Come, my love, Ilyan whispered into my mind, his hand extended toward me. I set Dramin’s mug down as Ilyan pulled me to standing. His fingers weaved through mine as I followed him to the other side of the fire where the last open space sat across from where Ryland slept. Everyone else was laid before us like the spokes of the wheel. I could see them all. I don’t know why, but for some reason the thought made me calm.

I slid down onto the rock as I tried to get comfortable, careful to keep my braid from touching the rough rock behind me.

“Are you tired?” Ilyan asked as he sat beside me, his voice soft in my ear as he leaned toward me.

“No,” I whispered, my spine shivering at the feeling of Ilyan’s breath against my neck.

I turned my head toward him, pressing my lips against his forehead as I leaned into him. I could feel the exhaustion in his body. I could sense his heart rate slowing as my magic flowed into him.

“Go to sleep,” I whispered against him as I pressed him down into my lap.

His body settled into me as I moved the hair that had come free of my haphazard braid out of his face. I ran my fingers over the stubble on his jawline, the bridge of his nose, then the soft skin over his eyes. I traced the lines of his face as he relaxed, moving closer to sleep at the contact. He looked up at me as my finger ran over his neck, his bright eyes blazing.

I love you,M?j kamarád, he whispered into my mind as his eyes closed, his body relaxing against me as his arm moved to wind around my legs.

I sat still underneath him as I continued to touch him, his body still under my caress, relaxing further with each touch as his breathing lengthened and I was sure he was asleep.

I sat in the dark as I listened to Ilyan’s breathing—the deep, calming tempo of everyone’s breathing relaxing—but it was Ilyan’s that moved through me, that rocked me. I could feel the calming pulse of his heart. I could hear the sleepy fragments of his thoughts as his dreams flowed through me. I heard our song in his mind as he slept, my lips humming through the silence as I joined him, my heart swelling at the depth of the connection we shared.

I had never felt so calm. Nothing had ever felt so right.

I closed my eyes as I finished the song, letting the warmth of the fire that still blazed among the rocks kiss my face.

“Does he make you happy?” The voice came out of nowhere. It was so familiar that it should have been calming, yet it only had the opposite effect.

My spine stiffened as my eyes snapped toward Ryland, his body so still he could have been sleeping, but I had heard his voice, and I would know it anywhere.

Waves of impregnated fear washed over me, the emotions strong as I pushed them away, knowing that now was not the time for a fight, and agitating Ryland would only end in disaster.

“Yes,” I answered, my voice tight as I tried to keep my anger at bay.

“I can tell,” Ryland said, his voice just as relaxed as before. He sighed and turned onto his back, his body flopping over as his eyes stayed focused above him into the hard, black of the roof of the cave. I was glad he didn’t look at me; I didn’t think that either of our emotional instabilities could handle that right now.

I looked away from him, careful to keep my focus on the fire, even though I could still see him, just in front of me through the flames. I just looked, not knowing what else to say, secretly hoping that he would fall back to sleep.

“The way you look at him, the way he looks at you, it’s different than with us. It’s better.” Ryland’s voice remained calm. He spoke casually and the fear that had stiffened my spine relaxed, the tone of his voice giving me hope that maybe we could share a real conversation; that maybe things could get better. “He’s made you better.”

“Is that a good thing?” I whispered. Even though I knew better than to egg him on, right then I couldn’t help it. It seemed so natural, so much like how it used to be all those months ago.

“Yeah,” he said, the smile clear in his voice, and I couldn’t help it; I looked.

My eyes shot over to him just as his lips turned up, his eyes darting over to mine before returning to the ceiling, obviously worried that looking at me would ignite his monster. I understood the fear, I felt the same way. I looked away as fast as he did, my heartbeat accelerating as I tried desperately to calm it.

I focused on the beat, on slowing it down as the silence stretched between us. I could feel the thump, the fear, until it left, leaving a silence that made me wonder if we had somehow ruined our chance.

As much as I wanted to sit with him the way we used to, we still weren’t there. Not yet.

“You remember how your mom’s rolls were too bitter until Metta came along and showed her how to do it right?” He continued speaking as if nothing had happened, as if his eyes hadn’t turned black at seeing me, as if I hadn’t felt the need to kill him rise up in me. As if the silence hadn’t stretched between us for the past few minutes. “That’s how it is with you two.”