Soul of Flame (Imdalind Series #4)(108)

“I don’t trust him, Ilyan. I feel like he isn’t telling me something.” I had expected Ilyan to fight me on my statement, to try to convince me that I was wrong, but he stayed still, his head nodding slightly in understanding. Almost as if he agreed with me.

“We will figure this out and find a way to end this together.” Ilyan’s hand moved from my elbow to the exposed skin of my hip as he spoke, the promise so clear in his eyes that it took my breath away.

I knew we would because, even though so much of the sight had come to pass, there was much more still hidden from us. And if there was one thing that boiled in my blood and promised me of its fruition, it was that I would be the one to kill Edmund.

“I will defeat Edmund, Ilyan. I was born to do so, and even though the sight has changed, I know that I will with you by my side.”

“I know you will,” he said, his thumb running over the raised skin of my scar, the movement heating my sensitive blood, the need for his touch sparking deep.

I reached up and ran my fingers over his lips as his eyes met mine, the fire in them hot and dangerous. I smiled at the look, my hand sliding around his neck as I pulled him to me, his lips meeting mine for the first time in what felt like days.

I sighed at the pressure, at the way our magic flared and heated. He wrapped his arm around my waist as he pulled me against him, his hand a wide fan against my back.

I groaned at the pressure, the sound coming out much louder than I had expected it to be in the stillness of the cave. It echoed around us only to have the laugh of the camp echo back, Thom’s joyous taunt following the echo.

“Sound barrier, Brother!” he yelled.

Everything froze in me, and I pulled away, suddenly wishing I could find a way to hide.

Ilyan, however, smiled, his arms pulling me back into him as he kissed me again. I smiled at the contact, moving to stand when he did. Our hesitant feet took us back to the fire, Ilyan’s shield dropping from us once we were bathed in the light of the fire.

Thankfully, when we returned, Thom and Wyn seemed occupied in some form of heated conversation while Sain kneeled over Ryland, leaving Dramin and his wide smile to greet us. A shock of embarrassed pleasure moved up my spine at the look Dramin gave me, and I turned into Ilyan, his hand wrapping around my waist on instinct. It was that touch that flared in me, and I turned my eyes, squinting through the dark in search of the hoodie we had left behind.

“Be proud, my love,” Ilyan whispered in my ear, obviously picking up on my alarm. I looked up at him only to be met by his sweet smile. He kissed me once on the cheek before moving away toward where Sain was crowded over Ryland.

I remained still after he left me, feeling very out of place standing in the middle of everyone, fully aware that Thom could see the braid from where he sat behind me. I looked around in confusion until Dramin met my eyes, his face wide and happy as he lifted a mug toward me.

I couldn’t help grinning at the action, happy to have somewhere to go and not to stand like a loon for much longer. I slid down the wall next to him, Dramin handing me the mug in silence before he turned back to where Sain and Ilyan gathered around Ryland, the steam from his water floating through the air.

We sat in silence as we drank, the quiet feeling comfortable and almost needed. After all, there wasn’t anything that needed to be said. I could feel Dramin’s comfort at making it through the battle alive, and in a lot of ways I felt the same way. I could have asked him about the sights, but I knew he already knew, and nothing we said about it now would change anything; there was always tomorrow.

I rested my head back against the stone wall, and for the first time in what felt like days, I wanted to find rest. Thanks to the Drak blood that flowed through my veins, I wasn’t tired, but my body was exhausted.

I leaned against the rock wall as Sain stepped away from Ryland, leaving Ilyan alone with his brother as he came to join us. He didn’t take his eyes off me as he sat on the other side of Dramin, the intensity of his stare making me uncomfortable. I could tell at once he had something to say, some sort of blame for our failure, for the broken sights. For anything.

I didn’t want to hear it.

My jaw stiffened uncomfortably as I looked stubbornly into the fire, then at the grey rock that surrounded us, anywhere other than at the potent look he had fixed me with.

“Joclyn,” Sain began, his voice softer than it had been, almost a whisper.

I could tell he wanted me to turn to him, but I wasn’t going to give him that. So I stayed still, letting the whisper of what came next wash over me.

“I am so sorry for treating you the way I have. After waiting so long to have you return…” He paused, his head hanging down as his shoulders rose and fell.

I waited, waited for more to come.

Wishing I could block him out in some way.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I should not expect so much of you. I am glad to see you alive.”

I jerked toward him, my jaw working as I let his words seep into me. I just stared at him, not trusting his words, not wanting to believe them. He had told me hours before that he would celebrate my death, and now he was grateful for my life.

I didn’t really think he felt either of those.

I nodded once, not trusting myself to say anything. Sain’s face fell ever so slightly before he moved away from me and leaned against the wall.

I turned away from him just as Ilyan moved away from Ryland to Thom and Wyn, who already looked to be half asleep. Wyn had her head resting on Thom’s shoulder and didn’t even move as he approached. Thom only nodded in feigned sleep at whatever Ilyan said before Ilyan moved over to us.