The Kiss: An Anthology About Love and Other Close Encounters(97)
He handed Bertie Butte the drink with a gentlemanly bow, and she smiled. This was the moment he’d been waiting for. He’d rehearsed what to say, but first, he had to make small talk and crack the door a little.
“Your falcon painting is stunning! I could almost hear its talons ripping into the fox.”
Bertie laughed. “Yes, hunters love the falcon series. It’s the most popular. They’ll all be sold before the night is over.” She spoke with pride for creating something that others loved. You could tell that it wasn’t about the money for her. As they chatted, his mind drifted.
She was a big woman, with rolls of fat bulging over the neckline of that hideous red dress. Gaudy, and cheap looking. You’d never have taken her for an artist whose paintings commanded thousands of dollars each.
Rumor had it that Bertie liked to play blackjack, and he had no doubt that the casino staff joked about “the whale” in red. She was the meat that stuffed sausage jokes were made of. His mind had drifted, and he needed to steer the conversation to the business at hand.
“Well I never!” She looked horrified. Never what, he wondered? What had they been talking about?
Sticky red liquid hit him in the face, and dripped down his white shirt inside the suit jacket. He’d done it again! He’d uttered his ugly thoughts out loud! He’d just called Bertie Butte a big, fat whale to her face! He could kiss his job goodbye, just as he’d kissed Rose goodbye the night before.
He’d never been good with words, but he’d never said such ugly things out loud before, not until he’d kissed the Blarney Stone. Something had gone wrong, terribly, awfully wrong, and he had to go back and fix it. So George drove 531 miles back to Blarney Castle.
“You’ve got to remove the spell! It’s horrible! You wouldn’t believe the awful things I’ve said to people. I lost my girlfriend. I lost my job. I’ll lose my sanity if you don’t get this blasted curse off of me!”
“But didn’t they tell you, laddie? Didn’t they explain it to you? If you kiss the Blarney Stone upside down, the effect is reversed. You aren’t blessed with the Gift of Gab, you’re cursed with the Gift of Blab!”
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Sharon Delarose is the author of several books including two non-fiction alien books: Alien Nightmares, and Ancient Aliens and the Lost Islands. Sharon has also written a nature series called An Acre of America Backyard Nature Series with full color photos, each with a story or legend, shows you the really cool entities that might live in your own back yard. Look for The Wizard of Awe, Over the Hummingbird’s Rainbow, and King of the Forest. Also available are dog books, humor, and how-to’s such as Wedding Anniversary Gifts for Coin Collectors.
You can find Sharon’s books at http://books.gityasome.com. Or check out the blog, under her narrator name of Allie Mars at http://www.alliemars.com. Thanks!
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The Graveyard Kiss
Meghan Ciana Doidge
When she turned twelve, Lucy changed her name to Luci. Then, at fourteen, she added the little heart over the letter I. But now at sixteen, she was starting to worry that the name itself was a little … frivolous. Not that she condemned anyone else who liked being frivolous, and she certainly thought of herself as being fun. She totally cheered for school teams, painted her toes in bright pinks, and — since she’d started wearing one two years ago — always made sure her bra matched her underwear.
Still, she was about to enter her last year of high school — after she got through this spring and summer, but still, soon — and maybe Luci-with-a-heart-over-the-I just wasn’t her anymore. Unfortunately, when in search of a more serious moniker, she’d asked her mom what Luci was short for, or who she’d been named after. Her mom hadn’t had any interesting answers — except that Luci could change her name after she turned eighteen and at her own expense.
Thus foiled, she was forced to sign her most recent love note Luci-with-a-little-heart-over-the-I even though it conflicted with the serious tenor of the message.
How do I love thee? Let me count the —
Her pink sparkle pencil slid with a smooth sort of grip across the register tape. Luci always liked writing in pencil. Not that she ever had to erase anything, but because she liked the sound of it. The register tape, pilfered from the register of the card shop where she worked, was streaked with red, though in some other stores those warning lines were streaks of green or blue. They let the cashier know when the tape had to be changed. And since the end bits were unenvironmentally thrown out, Luci had no issue with using the neat little rolls to pass love notes. Or, much more specifically, to carry a bit of her heart and poetry to her boyfriend Colby. When starting one of these notes — as she just had — she always made sure to draw the O in Colby’s name as a heart as well. She was really big on symmetry.
Luci had gotten the job at the card shop after the Christmas holidays. She would have preferred working at the Body Shop or Lush, but they hadn’t been looking for anyone when she was looking for a bit of cash. She was lucky the card shop had been hiring. Their regular part-timer had taken off to travel for a year. Having an extra excuse to be out of the house on Thursdays from five to nine and Sundays from one to five was a bonus for Luci. Sundays, according to her stepfather, were supposed to be family days.