Haven't They Grown(78)

It occurs to me only now, when I see them together: he looks a lot younger than she does. That never used to be true. Whatever they’ve been through, she’s come out of it worse.

I stand up and walk towards them. Flora stops. For a moment, I wonder if she might turn and run again. Lewis drapes his arm over her shoulder. Anyone else in the hotel lobby who observed the gesture would think it was affectionate: a man putting his arm round his wife. To me it looks as if Lewis also fears Flora might try and escape.

None of us says hello. Lewis says, ‘Let’s go to your room, Beth.’

‘I told you, I’m not doing that. We can sit there and talk.’ I point to an octagonal space nearby, marked out by eight white floor-to-ceiling pillars. Between the pillars, on a raised platform, there are tables and chairs. ‘No one’s sitting there. We’d have it to ourselves.’

‘I’m not doing this in a public place,’ says Lewis. ‘Either we go to your room or Flora and I leave. What do you think we’re going to do to you, Beth?’

My room has a balcony that overlooks the swimming-pool terrace, where there are bound to be a good number of people sunbathing or reading on loungers. If I leave the door to the balcony wide open, so that I can shout for help if I need to …

‘Can I see what’s inside your bags before you bring them into my room?’ I say.

‘From TV detective to airport security.’ Lewis shakes his head.

I don’t care how disappointed he is in me. I don’t trust him and I’m not taking any risks. I’ve never trusted anyone less, in fact. He needn’t be here, with a story he’s reluctant but prepared to tell me. There’s only one reason why he’d bring Flora here and give up his working day to explain things to me that – as he correctly pointed out – are none of my business: he’s still hoping to control me. He wants to satisfy my curiosity because he fears what will happen if he doesn’t.

‘You can look in Flora’s bag.’ He pulls it off her shoulder and hands it to me. ‘Mine’s full of confidential documents. I can leave it in the car, if it bothers you?’

‘Yes, please.’

‘Fine. Give me five minutes.’ Flora tries to follow him when he moves to leave the lobby. ‘What are you doing?’ he asks her.

‘Coming with you.’

‘Why? Wait here.’

He leaves. Flora stares down at the ground.

‘Are you angry with me?’ I ask her.

‘No. Of course not.’

‘I wish you and I could talk alone.’

‘We can’t,’ she says quickly.

‘Now? Or ever?’

‘We won’t see each other again after today.’

‘Why? Because Lewis won’t let you see me again?’

‘We only agreed to meet you so that you’d leave us alone. You need to stop … what you’re doing. Stop following me around.’ She looks up at me. There are tears in her eyes. ‘I don’t want to see you.’

‘I’m not here because I want us to be friends again,’ I say. ‘If you don’t want that then I don’t either. All I want is to know that you and your children are all right – your two youngest children, who have the same names as your two oldest. Don’t they?’

She says nothing. Her eyes flit back and forth.

‘Why, Flora? Why would you do that? I’ve seen Yanina picking Thomas up. They didn’t look at each other or speak to each other. I’m worried for him and Emily. I saw him walking along with the sole of his shoe hanging off. Even if you don’t care about yourself, you should care about those children.’

‘I care,’ she says.

‘Well, then, you must know they’re not okay. And you’re not okay either. Let me help. Tell me what’s going on before Lewis comes back. We don’t have to wait here for him. We could go somewhere else where—’

‘I don’t need your help. I don’t need you to worry about me.’

‘If you don’t want to talk to me, why are you here?’

‘Lewis says we have to, otherwise you won’t ever leave us alone, and that’s all I want: for you to leave me alone.’ Instead, Lewis has left her alone with me. Why? He could have easily let her go with him to the car.

It would have looked odd, though – her trotting after him like a slave. And he knows he’s trained her well enough that she won’t say anything. Unless … No. Unless nothing. Every time I find myself starting to wonder if maybe Flora’s the one in control, I think back to the way she and Lewis were when I knew them before.

He’s the boss. Always was, always will be.

‘Who’s Chimpy?’ I ask.

Flora looks puzzled, as I expected her to. ‘Chimpy? I don’t know.’

‘I’m sorry about Georgina,’ I tell her. ‘When I saw you outside your house in Hemingford Abbots, you were talking on the phone. I heard you say that you were very lucky. To lose a child isn’t lucky.’

‘You think I don’t know that?’

‘Why did you describe yourself as lucky? It might sound like a strange question, but I heard you say it twice. Once was outside the house and the other time was when Lewis first rang me, after I sent him a message on Instagram. I heard you in the background saying those exact same words: “I’m very lucky”.’