Forbidden Honor (Dragon Royals #1)(52)

“That’s not true, taking something away from Lucien is a bonus. I want you.”

“Why?” The word was supposed to come out demanding, but instead it came out too soft. There was something about Jaik’s heated gaze that left me feeling a little bit undone.

“Fine,” I said. “You know what, I do want you, but I don’t want all your bullshit, Jaik. It’s obvious how you treat women. The second I do anything with you, you’re going to get bored with me, and that’s going to be the end of that.”

His brows drew together in an expression of confusion that was, unfortunately, just as handsome as ever. “Do you want a relationship with me?” he asked as if it were ridiculous.

He was right. It was ridiculous. The noble and the maid—it was never going to happen—but it still bothered me. “No, I don’t want a relationship with you.”

“But you want me. For a moment, at least.” His eyes smoldered as they met mine. “Why don’t you take what you want then, Honor?”

I stared at him, refusing to answer.

I wanted more than a moment.

The truth of it hammered in my chest, so loud that my pulse hummed through my ears. I didn’t dare let him see that desire.

He took a step toward me, looking as if he didn’t know what to do with his hands, before he folded his arms across his chest. “Tell me you want me to go, and I will.”

When I didn’t answer, his face tightened with frustration. He raked a hand through his hair. “First time I’ve ever heard you be silent, Honor. You usually have so much to say.”

“Well, I don’t know right now. I’m trying to make sense of all the bullshit you’ve sent my way in the last few minutes.”

“You can reject me, but you can’t say it’s bullshit. We can’t have a relationship, no.” His voice dropped, became raw, when he added, “But I feel drawn to you, and I know I shouldn’t. You’re like a fucking addiction. And you know what? You’re right. I hope I don’t feel it anymore. I hope I fuck you out of my system and then you’re just as boring as all the other girls.”

Fury washed through me, hotter than lust. “You are such an—”

“But I’m afraid I won’t.” His words were clipped.

That was the one thing he said that I believed. He was really terrified he might fall for me.

I threw my arms out in exasperation. “Maybe you should figure out your shit before you come in here and try to kiss me.”

There it was. I was yelling at the heir to the throne. Head was right, I was an uppity orphan.

“Who said I’m trying to kiss you?” he demanded.

“You’re looking at me like you want to kiss me.”

“I’m not sure if I want to kiss you, or spank your stuck-up mouthy ass.”

“I think we’re going to have to get to know each other a little better before I consider letting you do that,” I said, surprising Jaik and surprising myself at the same time.

His eyes widened, and I was stunned I’d sounded so confident.

I had a head full of dirty, erotic dreams from the books I’d read. But I’d never had sex with anyone. And Jaik was a terrible starter lover. He had the look of a man who’d ruin me.

And yet, I couldn’t help the way I felt drawn to him. Heat seemed to smolder between us.

And I knew from being in his head that he wasn’t as bad as he seemed. He shielded his decent and caring side.

He chewed his lower lip as if he was going to make some crazy offer, but all he said was, “We could get to know each other.”

Actually, maybe to him that was crazy. I was just a squirrel-shifter servant after all, for all he knew. Furniture. Background noise.

“I thought we agreed you’d be bored with me after we had sex.” I lifted my chin, my voice coming out clipped.

He regarded me skeptically, his posture relaxed again, one hand stuffed in his pocket. I hoped it was an act. “I guess we’ll have to see how it plays out.”

“It’s always a game with you dragon royals, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” he admitted freely. “Everything is a game. We spend our childhoods playing terrible, dangerous games—brutal games—preparing for our lives as dragon royals. It’s hard to get out of the habit.”

He walked slowly around the bed, giving me every chance to run. “But this game will be a little more fun for both of us.”

I wasn’t sure if that were true. Falling in love with Jaik seemed like it would be its own dangerous, brutal game. I wasn’t sure my heart could handle him.

But my body, that was another story. I had told Calla that I’d love to have sex with the Dragon Prince, as long as he kept his beautiful mouth shut. Maybe I could fuck him out of my system. And even if it doesn’t work, it’ll still be fun.

I could have what I wanted for today. I could pretend. I could accept that any tender moment with him would be as fragile as snow melting in the sun.

Jaik was watching me, his brows arched in question. I’d never seen the prince smile, but there was the faintest smug lift to his lips, as if he might consider it. The expression made me ache to be the one who made him grin.

“What?” I demanded. “You’re being too quiet. You’re usually either ordering me around or arguing with me. No, I’m being unfair. Sometimes you insult me.”