Forbidden Honor (Dragon Royals #1)(51)

“Not everything. There are many ways you’re a mystery to me.” His voice was smooth, calm. He didn’t seem to feel undone by our proximity.

I didn’t want to talk about her situation with anyone. It felt too vulnerable. But he had shown me vulnerability earlier when he told me about his family. It felt like a betrayal to take his truths and refuse to share mine.

“I’d saved up the money for Hanna’s tuition,” I admitted. “My stepmother stole it from me. Now, I don’t know how I’m going to get the tuition in time. I had to drop out. I don’t want that for my sister. I want her to have a better chance to have a better life.”

His gaze softened, and he sat up in bed, one arm propped on his knee. I bit my lower lip as more nerves winged through me, as he asked, “Don’t you have a better chance for a better life right now?”

“Do I?” I tugged absently on the end of my braid. “I can’t be myself. I have to be Lucien. And even I don’t like that guy.”

He let out a laugh. “Yeah, I can’t imagine you would right now.”

“I asked Damyn to be paid for this farce, but he just laughed at me. What about Lucien’s fortune? Surely he must have inherited some money.”

He looked hesitant. “Well…it was seized by the crown. But I’ll see what I can do, Honor.”

“Thank you,” I said. “Why did you come here, anyway? It wasn’t to hear my sob story, I’m sure.”

“I just wanted to check on you. You took a lot of damage today.”

“I do every day.” I studied his face, his kind, gray eyes. He was lying to me, or at least concealing the truth. “You shouldn’t take the risk.”

“You’re right,” he said.

I liked Caldren, but I didn’t like that he was lying to me.





Honor



The next day, I ran to clean the guys’ rooms on my lunch break. It was my turn in the rotation. I was beginning to miss the old days of laughing with my friends in between scrubbing floors and carrying foul-smelling laundry.

I was snapping clean sheets over the mattress when the door flew open, and Jaik stormed in. He’d stayed after drills in the training yard to practice extra with Arren, who’d been cursing at him when I left. Jaik was in an exceptionally bad mood today, and he’d been relentless in the yard.

I ignored him as he dropped his sword in the corner of the room, but even with my back to him, I could feel his gaze. A blush of warmth swept up my throat, as if I could feel his warm hand sliding across my skin.

I’d pushed Jaik away when he first kissed me. While I’d been stupid enough to enjoy his attention, he and the other royals despised the girls that hung all over them. I didn’t need Jaik’s kisses, not when they came with his contempt.

“What are you doing with Lucien?” he demanded.

I turned toward him in disbelief. I couldn’t deal with fitted sheets and possessive assholes.

My first impulse was to tell him that I wasn’t doing anything with Lucien. I wanted to keep as much distance between Honor and Lucien as I could, my life was already way too complicated.

Instead I raised my chin and said, “That’s none of your business.”

“He already ruined Alina’s life. I’m not going to let him ruin yours.”

I scoffed; Gods save me and all women from masculine bullshit masquerading as protection. “Oh, because that’s your department. You and Talisyn using me for your amusement before you cast me off.”

He scoffed right back, but he didn’t even try to argue with me. At least the monster was self-aware.

I leveled a finger at him from across the bed. “You guys are a bunch of womanizing pricks who don’t treat girls with respect, and I have no interest in being one of those girls.”

“You think Lucien will treat you with respect.”

“I think I know what I’m getting into when it comes to Lucien,” I said, even though that was an absolute lie.

So far, trying to be Lucien had overwhelmed me. And it had led to a whole lot of shattered bones, bruises, and blood, even if the physician was quick to heal me afterward. I was tired of taking hits just because Lucien’s face was apparently so very punchable.

Jaik leaned against the wall, his muscles tight despite the casual pose. “I don’t think you do.”

“Well, I don’t see why you care.”

“Lucien doesn’t deserve pretty things,” Jaik said, his tone rough and savage as his gaze roamed my face.

I let out a huff of a laugh. “That’s not much of a compliment. You just sound like a possessive prick.”

“I’m not complimenting you. I’m stating a fact. You’re a very pretty thing.”

“I’m not a thing at all. That’s exactly why I’m not interested in you, Jaik.”

I expected the rejection would hurt, but instead, his face softened, some of the heat fading from his eyes. “Now you’re lying. I know you want me, not Lucien.”

“I do not want you. Especially not when you don’t want me, not truly, you just want to take something away from Lucien.” I threw the pillows into place, resisting the temptation to throw one at Jaik.

I was too mature to throw things at him. Also, pillows wouldn’t do enough damage.