Forbidden Honor (Dragon Royals #1)(50)

Then, more dryly, and neither will the shifters. But there was a memory there too of a group of bears going up in flames, and panic crawled up my throat before the memory was gone.

“Lucien, dive,” Jaik ordered in my mind. “Light up the line. Try not to embarrass us.”

I would’ve been annoyed if I hadn’t heard the thoughts leaking underneath, the way he kept close to my side to make sure I didn’t make a mistake as I breathed out fire along the line. He kept a watchful eye on the students beyond. That’s it, Lucien. Yes!

By the time the mock battle was over, I was exhausted. I stumbled as I came out of the air, transforming into a human, and Jaik raised an eyebrow at me, then turned toward the others dismissively.

But now I knew how much the sarcastic bastard carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and how much he’d seen already. It made me soften toward him.

Jaik wouldn’t exactly appreciate any discussion of his weakness, even if it was something that was really a strength. After all, he made it pretty clear how he thought we should all feel, even if his internal thoughts made him more of a gooey fresh-out-of-the-oven cookie.

Talisyn was the one I’d connected with the most, and so I said to him quietly, “And here I thought Jaik was the meanest bastard of you all. I guess that honor goes to Arren. Or maybe the golden twins. I’m still holding some grudges against them.”

He gave me a strange look. “What brought you to that conclusion?”

“The way he thinks about things,” I answered.

Talisyn looked at me in confusion. Maybe no one else had heard Jaik’s leaked thoughts.

“Almost competent work, Lucien.” Jaik patted my shoulder, his hand heavy. “Maybe we’ll make a man out of you.”

“Yeah. I highly doubt that you can teach me that,” I shot back. Good luck. I was never going to be a man.

Now we had talons on the ground, he was back to being an asshole.

But I was going to be haunted by the other side of Jaik I’d glimpsed.





Honor



That evening, I pretended to go to sleep early in my room with Calla, only to slip down dimly lit halls and stairs to Lucien’s room. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if it seemed like Lucien and I were sleeping together; at least it would give an explanation for why I was always in his room.

That night when I walked into my room, Caldren was there already, lounging on my bed.

Seeing him gave me a jolt of adrenaline before I crossed my arms and glared at him. “We really need to work on your social skills. I’m happy to see you. But a girl needs a certain amount of privacy.”

“You have bigger concerns than privacy,” he told me, propping himself up on my pillows. His hair was mussed, the first few buttons on his tunic undone, and he seemed more relaxed with me than he ever did addressing students in the arena.

“I do,” I said, “and I’m not sure that you’re actually helping me with all of them. But I still need some time to deal with my issues in peace, and I never get any peace, thanks to you and the dragon royals.”

He looked pained at being lumped in with them. I didn’t want to press his past. I hated that his parents and friends had hurt him. The more we dipped into emotional topics, the more dangerous our relationship felt. I didn’t want him to stop coming to my room, but I should.

“Why are you so late anyway? I’ve been waiting here for ages.”

“So sorry to inconvenience you,” I answered. “Maybe you should let me know when you’re stalking me so that I can make myself more available.”

But despite the banter between us, there was no real heat in any of our words. If he wanted to talk, he had to sneak into my room. But I worried about how strange it might seem, Caldren making regular visits to Lucien’s room.

“I had to start the night in Calla’s room. Now people think that I’m slipping out to see Lucien like some kind of… Well, you know.”

“You’ve got to quit working as a maid. It’s hard enough for you to be a believable Lucien without both Honor and Lucien darting through the halls.”

“I’m aware. Did you know that Lucien was an insufferable bore? Apparently, he was the least interesting person on the planet.”

“I’m sorry there wasn’t a more convenient identity for you to assume.”

“I can’t quit my job. Believe me, I’m not exactly enjoying this either. Just one of these jobs was more than enough. The two together are going to drive me actually insane.”

He wisely didn’t comment on how I probably already was. “Well, why don’t you just quit? Your room and board at the academy is free. It’s not like you need anything.”

“I don’t need anything, but my sister does.”

“Your sister.” He sounded surprised; did the man think I’d hatched from an egg?

“We all have a family, strange as that is to think about. My stepmother is terrible, and I have to get Hanna out of that house. The only way for me to do that is to stay on my stepmother’s good side, since she’s still Hanna’s guardian, and to pay the tuition for her boarding school.”

“Is that the school you went to? Posselbaum?”

“Look at you, you stalker.” I sank onto the edge of the bed, and his body dipped toward mine. I instantly regretted moving so close to him as butterflies rose in my chest. “You know just everything about me, don’t you?